“That’s not the same fucking thing.”
Dare’s hands come up as he asks, “How is it not the same thing? She came into my life with a specific task to take me down. Just like Carolina was supposed to take me down. I guess I’m fortunate that in both cases, they saw something in me that changed their mind. Otherwise, I would not be standing here in front of you right now. We both know that depending on who’s doing the looking, I’m the bad guy, and in a lot of scenarios from a lot of different perspectives, I deserve to be dead.”
I open my mouth to reply but then snap it shut again as I think over my response. I know he’s right in the sense that not all lies are condemning. Any lie that Carolina told me to maintain her cover story was all to protect the little girl whom I’m now protecting. She’s not even my own flesh and blood, and there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do to keep her safe.
“What aren’t you telling me?” Dare interrupts my train of thought, his eyes intent on my face, and I do my best not to squirm. “There’s obviously more to this than one passing conversation, so spit it out.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I reply with a shrug.
Dare crosses his arms over his chest and lifts a brow at me as he replies, “Let me guess. You actually went to see her because you felt the connection to her before you ever even had any interaction with her. She brushed by you in the hotel lobby. A passing glance while you stood in the audience on the red carpet. The sound of her voice during an overheard conversation that prickled your skin, even though she wasn’t even speaking to you. The calming familiarity that you yearned for, even while your brain did its best to keep it at bay.
“And then, when that ache in your chest reached a fever pitch, where you could no longer ignore it, you sought her out, intent on squashing it once and for all. But instead, when you stood in her presence, even knowing the words coming out of her mouth were likely lies, that everything about the situation screamed at you to run for your very life, you remained rooted to the spot because something about her calls to you.
“So, you say fuck it, throw caution to the wind, and you give in to the carnal urges and allow her to wrap herself around you to the point she is the air you breathe. And even though you felt at the time that you could not possibly be any more wrapped up in her, once you’ve had her, once you’ve established that intimate connection, you realize the error of your ways because the mere idea of existing in the world where she is not beside you is so stifling that you feel you may never breathe again.”
My breath is now trapped in my lungs, every word coming from his mouth a hammer to my psyche. Darius has always been incredibly observant, his ability to read a situation, especially a situation that includes someone he’s close to, is incredible. That doesn’t mean I’m going to readily admit it, but I don’t have to because the look on his face tells me he already knows. “What do you want me to say, Dare?”
He chuckles knowingly and shakes his head as he replies, “Nothing. I just wanna make sure you know that you’re fucked.”
“How am I fucked?”
“You were fucked before you even went in search of her. You were fucked as soon as you breathed the same air she breathed. And now, if she’s dead, you’re fucked. If she’s alive, you’re just as fucked. You may as well let it go and embrace it for what it is because you will never be able to shake her. You will never rid yourself of that painful yearning to be in her presence every moment of your life.”
I groan and roll my eyes at his dramatic speech, but then Nettie says from beside me, “You talking about Tony being in love with Carolina?”
And then Matt adds, “Is he finally admitting it?”
I glance at the two of them and say, “You’re both traitors.”
Dare speaks up, “He isn’t admitting anything yet, but he doesn’t need to admit it. I know what I know from my own experience, and he is deeply fucked.”
“Hey, that’s not very nice.” Nettie glares at him, reaches out, and pushes his shoulder. “Is that how you think of me, that you’re fucked?”
He laughs again and nods. “Deeply and truly fucked, baby girl. I just happen to revel in it, but I’ve also had quite a bit of time to get used to the idea.”
“You’re fucked? How about me? I’m way more fucked than you are.”
He smiles at her fondly, reaching out, snagging her wrist, and pulling her close as he leans into her and whispers into her ear. She giggles, the inappropriate undertones clear as she swats at his chest and replies, “Promises, promises, baby.”
“Would you two fucking cut it out,” Matt says humorously. They both look at him and smile innocently, and he shakes his head, his eyes meeting mine as he says, “They never fucking stop. It’s disgusting.”
Nettie’s hand flies out, and she sucker punches him in the gut, and Matt grins at her.
I laugh and then turn back to the table where all the papers are still spread out. “So, what’s our game plan?”
Dare turns his attention back to the table and pulls a piece of paper over in front of us. “According to Antoinette and Aggie, this is the closest to the actual layout of the underground of the club. We figured Carolina is being held somewhere down here.”
“So, are we going in guns blazing, or what?”
“I figure you can go in with Antoinette and Aggie and likely get access to this area. I won’t risk showing my face, but since you didn’t sense any recognition from the people you’ve already taken out, I suspect your identity remains unknown. We’ll set up a perimeter and await confirmation that she’s there.”
“And once we confirm she’s there?”
“Then you tell us if we’re taking her quietly or not,” he replies.
“If she’s not there?”
Dare smiles, his eyes lighting up as he says, “Well then, if she’s not there, that’s when we start asking questions.”