Page 8 of What Doesn't Kill Us

She smiles, tilting her head at me as she replies, “Welcome back, sis. Welcome back.”

Chapter Four

Dare

Thatfuckingbitch.

Just when I think we’ve come to some kind of understanding, Antoinette goes completely off the rails and fucks up my well-thought-out plans. I get it; she’s probably a little sick and tired of not being privy to the intricate details of these plans, but the fact she cannot get it through her stubborn head that not knowing the details is in her best interest infuriates me to no end.

Sometimes, I feel like I need to drop a flowchart to explain how, in our world, not knowing things is always better. The need-to-know basis is concrete, as the more you know, the bigger the target you have on your back. And the more her memories return, the larger that target will get.

I know little about Antoinette’s past. Matt told me from the start he could not find much information on her, which was automatically a huge red flag. And my tendency to hold my cards close to my chest, even with my closest friends, was probably a mistake. If I had known this information before becoming close to her, I would’ve either stayed the fuck away from her or chained her in my basement and made her tell me what I wanted to know.

By the time I knew there was an issue, I had stupidly dragged my feet in getting the details, and the next thing I knew, she didn’t even know who she was. A few times, Tony questioned whether her amnesia was real, that maybe she was playing an extra-long game. Her doctor believed no one could fake this level of memory loss for this length of time. I was also relatively certain that it would be impossible for anyone to maintain this level of undercover work without slipping out of that character for that long.

I get that she’s upset—rightfully so, even. But the fact there’s nothing I can do about any of it right now is enough to make me want to fuck shit up. I want to go over there and shake her until her teeth rattle. And now, I can’t even get her on her phone, which means she likely dumped it. The fact I also can’t get any of those other fucking cunts on their phones has me toeing the line on Crazytown.

Those motherfuckers.

I get it with Lilith. She doesn’t give two shits about me. She’s solidly on Antoinette’s side, and that will never change. She would slit my throat with minimal provocation, and I don’t doubt she could pull it off if she wanted to. Actually, the only thing keeping me alive could be Antoinette telling her she’s not allowed to kill me.

Then there’s Tony and Matt. It seems my boys have gone to the other side. I mean, I get it. This is a long game in every sense of the term, and each one of us must do what must be done, whether or not we like it. And let’s not forget they have explicit orders from me to stay with her at all costs, so it’s not like I can really be mad that they’re doing what I told them to do.

Toni is pissed that I went to see her, and instead of providing any information, I played games and then vanished. Sure, she enjoyed the experience, and I did what I could to make sure she recovered well, but when she went to the trouble of setting me up to be taken, that was not at all the result she was looking for. I fully expected her to retaliate, but I did not see her attempting to slice and dice my man, Hans.

If I could’ve explained any part of what was going on, I would’ve done my best to do so. But the fact of the matter is, I don’t know a lot. We’ve been fucking around out here for weeks, trying to get someone, anyone, to try something, and so far, all we’ve earned for our troubles is a bunch of dead ends and Toni deciding to join the fucking limelight. I spend most of my time worried I’m being followed while hoping I’m being followed because I’d rather be bound to a chair in another disgusting warehouse where I might get some answers than continue to stand here with my dick out.

The only reason I managed to sneak out to see Antoinette is because Carolina helped me. It turns out she’s a very skilled actress. She acts like we’re too enamored with each other to leave the house outside of work engagements, and I sneak in and out as needed. Easy peasy—no fuss, no muss.

Until Antoinette went fucking insane, anyway.

I realize Hans is still standing there, waiting for me to give him further instructions. I look him up and down and ask, “Are you going to live?”

He scowls at me, crossing his arms over his chest as he replies, “Are you being serious? I’m fine. If it had been anyone else, I would have broken their neck. But it was Antoinette, so I did not.”

My blood pressure rises at the very thought of him touching her. She stabbed him, and from the looks of it, she intended to inflict some serious harm on him. Seems my baby girl has toughened up over the last few months. I laugh. “It was a near-miss there, wasn’t it?”

His scowl deepens. “If she had been quieter about it, I might not be standing in front of you right now.”

I chuckle again. “Yeah, sounds like she was in quite a lather. Sorry about that. I never in a million years would’ve thought she’d attack you. Seems there’s a lot about her I don’t know since I’ve been gone.”

He tilts his head at me. “She has definitely changed. The last few months have been rough on her, and she had to toughen up. If she keeps going down that line, not very many people are going to fuck with her.”

I raise my brows. “Interesting. Do you think this has to do with her getting more of her memories back or more from the situations she’s been in?”

Hans presses his lips together for a moment and then responds, “Perhaps a bit of both. She’s getting memories at a more rapid rate, but they seem to come in random order, so nothing relevant from when she was younger.”

I inhale deeply through my nose and then release a long breath out of my mouth. “So, she has remembered nothing from before she was taken?”

He shakes his head. “Most of her newest memories are from the time you worked together before that happened, but mostly it’s feelings and snippets of interactions with you. Occasionally, she appears as if she’s grasping at something, but nothing ever comes of it. She gets pissed, though.” He shrugs, then raises his brows at me. “So, do you want me to go back in there or what?”

“No, she’ll definitely cut you up if you show up there again. Why don’t you take a week to recuperate and then head back home? Anything changes, I’ll let you know.”

Hans doesn’t argue. He gives me a nod, then turns around and disappears out the door. I don’t doubt that he would’ve gone back in if I told him to, regardless of how many times she might try to stab him. It doesn’t sound very smart, but he’s quite an intelligent guy, which is why I’ve had him on Antionette. He would protect her and listen effectively.

It seems to me Antoinette may not need protection for much longer. Not that she won’t always have protection, but I wonder how much longer before she notices the other people that are tailing her. Matt and Tony definitely know about it, so I guess it depends on if they decide to let her know. Lilith might tell her, but I don’t think she’ll say anything because she’s as protective of Antoinette as I am. I wouldn’t be surprised if she has her own men on her, too.

I leave my office and make my way down the hall into the kitchen to grab a bottle of mineral water out of the fridge before walking into the sitting area where Carolina is relaxing on the sofa. I sprawl in the chair across from her, and I must look a sight because she raises her brows at me and grins. “Having a rough day?”

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