Page 72 of What Doesn't Kill Us

Jayme asks, “How about somnophilia? Is that good?”

Agatha and I both say, “Only if previously consented to.”

Darius and Jayme look at each other, then Darius shrugs. “You got me, man. If Antoinette took a survey of my rights and wrongs, I’d be in deep shit, for sure.”

“Possibly in jail.” Jayme laughs. “I would definitely be in jail.”

Dare chuckles. “It’s likely we would both be dead. Jail would be a luxury.”

I sit back and enjoy the moment of camaraderie, but I can’t help but feel the vacancy inside me where Lilith is. She would’ve loved this conversation; she would have had so much to add.

Agatha’s voice across the table drives me out of my thoughts, and I blink a few times before asking, “What was that?”

“Vincent thinks you’re dead. You have an opportunity here to stay that way if you want to.”

I blink at her, confused by what she’s saying. Dare reaches his hand out, squeezing my leg so I turn to him, and he says, “She’s right. If you ever wanted to be done with this life, this is the perfect opportunity. You can start all over again, somewhere else.”

I frown at him, placing my hand on top of his and squeezing. “With you?”

He shakes his head. “No, baby girl. I have no choice but to see this through.”

“I won’t leave you.”

“Are you sure? I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to be done with it all. You’ve been through so much; it would only be fair for you to take the out and walk away.”

I scowl at him, then turn my unhappy expression on Agatha and Jayme before replying, “No. I won’t leave you. Never.”

No one says anything for a few moments, so I finally ask, “So, I guess the real question is, what do we do now?”

Dare and Jayme look at each other for a few moments, as if they’re trying to communicate telepathically. I look over at Agatha at the same time as she looks at me, and we both raise our eyebrows and roll our eyes at this bromance. Finally, Agatha chimes in, “I have a few ideas.”

Jayme shifts his gaze to her, his mouth twisting as he goes to reply, but she puts her hands up to cut him off. “Don’t even bother. It’s obvious what we need to do here, so let’s stop fucking around and get to it because I’m tired of this shit, too. I want to go home, and it doesn’t even fucking matter that I’m not sure where home is. I’ll make a new one. This shit needs to end.”

I nod in agreement. “I’m with you. What are we going to do to put an end to it once and for all?”

Agatha looks at Dare, who finally nods, so she continues, “Jayme needs to deliver us wherever it is he’s supposed to deliver us. Which means Toni needs to get her ass back in the ocean and off our ship.”

“Absolutely fucking not.” Dare shakes his head as he leans forward, his forearms resting on the table in front of him, his fists clenching. “There must be a better way. She’s not getting back in the fucking ocean.”

I smile at Dare’s little show of sullen disapproval, patting him on the shoulder before turning to Agatha. “You’re right. I need to get the hell off the ship before we get close enough for somebody to see me. The only leverage we have right now is Vincent assuming I’m dead. If I’m a ghost, we have a leg up on him, especially since I’ll be able to take back the information on where you’re going so that we can be prepared.”

Dare is still shaking his head, and he looks at Jayme. “Come on, man. There has to be another way.”

Jayme leans back in his chair with a little shrug. “There really isn’t. We make it into port with her on the ship, then she’s going to either be stuck here, or she’ll get caught trying to leave. The best way to get her into position on the other end is for her to go now. Or, at least, soon.”

“Matt and Tony are waiting for me to make a move. They figured I wouldn’t be able to go into port with you, so they’re trailing behind us a safe distance away, monitoring my location every moment. They have the resources needed, and they’ll know when to come for me.”

Dare pushes himself back from the table furiously, then sits in his chair stiffly, his hands fisted on his legs, his jaw clenching and clenching. He looks at me, and I see the desperation in his eyes, the fear. I rise from my seat, shifting over so I’m sitting in his lap, my hands cupping his cheeks as I search his golden gaze.

It seems my beast is feeling emotional, but I know once we get the ball moving, he’ll come back around. So, instead of responding to him with snark and fire, I lean in and brush my lips against his, releasing the breath I’d been holding as his arms come up around me. He squeezes me so tightly my breath catches, but when I squirm a bit in protest, he eases his grip so I can pull back and meet his eyes. “I got this. We got this.”

He stares at me, his eyes on fire and his lips pressed together tightly. Finally, he sighs and says, “It’s not that I don’t think you can handle it. I just can’t lose you. You know what’ll happen if I lose you.”

I nod because I know, and everyone at this table also knows how completely off the rails he’ll go if I meet my end. “You know what they say, Darius. What doesn’t kill us…”

He scowls at me. “What? It makes us stronger.” His words are mocking.

I don’t let it get to me; I just smile at him. “Well, yes. But it’s more than that. What doesn’t kill us brings to the forefront what we have to live for. What’s the point of money and power if you’ve sacrificed everyone who has ever been important to you to gain and keep it?”

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