Page 63 of What Doesn't Kill Us

She laughs against my neck, her arms pulling me tighter, and her hips rotate in my grip. “Since when do you need an invitation?”

I growl, placing another bite mark on her neck before straightening. I adjust my grip on her ass, then grind myself against her as I brush my mouth against hers. She’s smiling softly, and I lick her lips, sucking and nibbling, coaxing her to open for me.

With all the different puzzle pieces shifting back into place where they belong, I wonder if she’ll now recognize that many of our intimate interactions since they took her were snippets from our brief history. I didn’t even realize I was doing it, but once all the pieces shifted back together for me, I realized that even after being programmed to not remember, those memories never truly quieted.

The first time I saw that bratty look in her eyes back so many months ago, when she was telling me I wasn’t bad boy enough to handle her, that was the first unconscious sign that maybe she needed a little more prodding, the little zing that queued my locked-up memory into action. And occasionally, in the heat of the moment, I would feel like I was reaching for something unknown, but then as soon as the excitement faded, she went right back to the Toni, who couldn’t remember, and I went back to the Darius who was locked in an abbreviated version of our reality.

She leans her upper body back against the door, her hands coming between us. She undoes my belt and pants, pushing the fabric out of the way as she pulls my cock free. I watch her face as her hand comes up, and she dribbles saliva into her open palm, then lowers her hand to the head of my dick. She slicks her spit over the tip, and my eyes close, my head falling back at how good her hands feel on me.

She strokes me for a few moments, then I feel her adjusting herself in my hands; when my eyes open, I look down, watching her rub the head of my cock against her pussy.

I shove my hips forward at the same time as I pull her closer to me, pushing my cock inside her. She hisses at the sudden intrusion, and I pause, my dick half inside her. “Are you okay? Am I hurting you?”

She gives a breathless laugh, shaking her head. Then her arms are back around my shoulders, giving herself some leverage to rock her hips and push herself onto me further. “Stop asking so many fucking questions. Take me. Take what you want.”

I growl again, pulling my hips back so the first couple inches of my dick is still inside her and then shoving back in with enough force that her back slams against the door. She grunts, her arms tightening, pulling me closer. I pull out and then shove back in, setting a punishing rhythm, in and out, the sounds of our bodies slapping together echoing throughout the room.

She’s moaning against my ear; there are little sobs of pleasure and occasional curses, and I feel the heat in my spine, the tingling in my lower pelvis. The oppressive weight in my chest eases, overwhelming me with such a state of euphoria I lose my breath and rhythm.

I pause, my dick shoved inside her as I use my hips to pin her against the wall. I take a shuddering breath in, then whisper against her neck, “I thought I lost you.”

I feel her nodding, her lips against my ear as she says, “I know, baby. But you didn’t.”

“You can’t keep fucking doing that to me.” I know I’m being entirely irrational, that it’s a ridiculous statement, but I can’t help it. The thought of losing her completely wrecks me.

She’s still nodding, her hands grabbing my hair and pulling on me like she can’t get close enough. I’m overwhelmed by relief, but I can’t find the words to fully communicate my feelings to her. I pull back, my eyes seeking hers, and the emotion I see in those blue depths rips me to shreds.

She brushes her lips against mine, muttering little whispers I can’t quite comprehend, and I lower my head to deepen the kiss. She pulls back, so she’s just out of reach, and a growl rumbles deep in my chest. I push her back harder against the door, using my pelvis and chest now so she can’t get away from me, and then I attack her, my lips and teeth savage, my tongue urging as I demand an equally savage response from her.

She doesn’t succumb so much as retaliate, her hands grasping onto my neck, her nails digging in, scoring me. I pull back a few inches, the bite of her teeth on my lips spurring me to push all the way inside her, the slap of my hips against hers loud in the otherwise silent room. She whimpers into my mouth, and I ease out of her only to slam back in, grinding the base of my dick against her clit, drinking the broken sob that falls from her lips.

She wraps an arm around my neck, pulling herself up and rolling her hips to meet my forward momentum. For a moment, I worry I might hurt her, but she digs her nails into my back, biting at my lips, encouraging me to take, take, take. Her hot breath is in my ear, and she’s whispering, “That’s right. You fuck your good little slut. Take what’s yours.”

As if the beast inside me needed any encouragement, her words increase the heat building in my groin, that familiar tingle at the base of my spine returning. I try to slow down, but she’s writhing against me from above like she’s trying to force my orgasm from me. “Slow down, baby girl. Slow down, or I’m gonna cum.”

She barks out a laugh, then her mouth is back against mine, and she’s drinking down my grunts and moans, her body slamming down on me insistently. I push off the wall, staggering over to the bed, where I unceremoniously dump her on her back. She glares up at me, sprawled, pantless, and panting. “I said slow down, you naughty little minx.”

I quickly strip myself of my clothing, then reach out and snag one of her ankles, yanking her to the edge of the bed, where I pull her damp shirt over her head. She lies back, utterly bare to me, her hair spread out on the white comforter, and I feel the increasingly familiar sting behind my eyes. She has a bandage on her torso, and I touch it gently and give her a questioning look. She gives a slight shake of her head and says, “Later.”

I go to respond, but the words get caught in my throat, so instead, I crawl over her, cupping her face in my palms as I kiss her cheeks, the corners of her eyes, her eyelids, and then her lips.

Her eyes meet mine, and she smiles softly, pulling me closer. “I know, baby. I know.”

She wraps her arms around my shoulders, pulling me down on top of her as she hooks her ankles at the base of my spine. I wrap an arm beneath her hips, pressing myself up with the other so I can shift us up on the bed. “Hold onto me, baby girl. Don’t let go.”

Her grip on me tightens, and I slide us toward the headboard, pulling a pillow under her. I pull her arms from my shoulders, then sit back on my haunches and allow myself a moment to revel in having her spread out before me. I swallow the lump in my throat, my hands stroking her thighs as I nudge her entrance with the tip of my dick.

She bucks her hip, her breath catching as my cock nudges her clit. I pool saliva in my mouth, then dip my head, dribbling it over where my cock is pressed against her, moaning at the slide of my hard flesh with her slick heat. She smiles, then says, “Will it always be like this?”

“Probably not.”

Her eyes widen, and she slaps my arm before I can move out of her reach. I laugh, pushing my cock inside her slowly as she shakes her head at me, gasping, “You could at least lie to me in the heat of the moment.”

“Never. I’ll never lie to you.”

“Fine. Then maybe try to pretty up the truth a bit.”

I shake my head, flexing my hips until my cock is seated fully inside her, my lower pelvis pushing against her clit. “Nope. All you’ll ever get from me is the brutal,” thrust “hard,” thrust “unforgiving,” thrust “truth.”

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