Page 34 of What Doesn't Kill Us

I’m not even entirely sure what he’s saying through the roaring in my ears, but tiny zaps of electricity keep shooting up my spine every time he brings up my mother. No, not just my mother…

No, our mother.

Lilith.

I shift my focus to Agatha, the look of shock on her face the only sign that I heard him correctly.

Lilith is our mother.

That’s what he said. There’s an odd look of surprise on his face, but it isn’t until the conversation shifts again that those little bolts of electricity turn into what feels like a hot iron rod shoved into the back of my skull.

My breath catches, and I double over as my stomach flips. I can’t quite grasp what his words mean: double-cross, duplicitous, liar.

I am a double-crossing, duplicitous liar.

Me.

I frown, a whimper falling from my lips, uncontrolled and uninhibited.

I glance at Lilith, who has a pained-yet-furious expression on her face. I see her fingers twitching, and I’m certain she’s wishing she had a sure way to get him to shut the fuck up.

I can’t catch my breath.

I glance over as Darius’s voice breaks through my panic, and I hear him telling me to breathe.

Breathe.

Breathe.

Breathe.

I finally manage to take a painful inhalation of air, then quickly exhale on a sob. But the fucker’s lips are still moving.

Never let the enemy speak.

I still don’t have a shot.

His lips are moving again, but so are Agatha’s and Dare’s–all this chattering of voices swirls around me, and I choke down the bile rising in my throat.

Lilith.

My mother.

Me.

The enemy.

I’m the enemy.

In my head, I hear myself screaming. I hear my denials, my refusal to believe any of this is true.

But the look on Lilith’s face doesn’t lie.

Mymotherdoesn’t lie.

I watch her face, my voice a broken whisper, “Why? How?”

She shakes her head, her eyes never leaving that fucker, and I glance over and see his lips are still moving.

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