Page 26 of What Doesn't Kill Us

The man’s eyes widen, and I see the fear in them as he stares up at her. She kneels in front of him, pulling some kind of leather pouch from the inside pocket of her jacket. She holds it out to him and says something so quietly I can’t quite make out what it is. His eyes widen further, and he shakes his head, then says loudly, “No, Lilith. Not that.”

I walk over toward them, stopping by the man’s head so I can see what Lilith is doing. Lilith bares her teeth at him and runs her tongue over her upper teeth before chomping them at him, and he flinches. She stands up, removing brass knuckles from her right hand as she spits out, “That’s what I thought.”

Lilith puts the brass knuckles and leather pouch back into the pocket of her jacket and then turns to Tony and Matt. “There shouldn’t be any more blood necessary. This fucking dipshit will talk. If he doesn’t, I’ll make him.”

Tony and Matt go into the living room and work together to stand the chair upright. Tony turns back to Lilith and says, “You may want to get some stain remover for that mess on the carpet.”

Lilith narrows her eyes at him and flips him the bird. He laughs in response, then turns back to the man.

Lilith makes her way into the kitchen, and I follow her. She’s making herself a cup of coffee and then stands there with her back against the counter. “Can I help you with something?”

“What did you threaten to do to him?”

“Nothing. There isn’t anything you could do to that man physically to make him give a shit. But unlucky for him, I know all his weak spots.”

I frown, then shift over so I’m standing beside her, leaning against the counter, watching Matt and Tony do their work. “So, you know him? And what’s his weak spot?”

“Yeah, I know him through Jimmy. Most people have a weak spot. It may be difficult to figure out what these weaknesses are, but with enough foresight and dedication, it always comes to light. It’s dumb luck that I know that guy has a family hidden away. If you want to get to someone, you go to the things they leave hidden to find out where it hurts the most.”

I glance over at her, taking in her blank face before asking, “And you would hurt his family?”

She doesn’t hesitate. “Yes. I will destroy anyone and everyone if it means protecting my family.”

I’m not surprised by her answer. I get it. Lilith has lived this life since birth. While she doesn’t believe that blood is thicker than water, for the few people she considers her family, she will literally do anything for them. But don’t mistake this for a free pass to be a piece of shit for life.

Lilith turns around, setting her coffee cup on the counter before turning to me and looking me right in the face. “There’s a lot of collateral damage in our world, Toni. A lot of innocent people murdered for the sake of greed and power. That man considers himself to be collateral damage. He knows, either way, he’s dead. He figures the safest way for his family to live is to speak to us. He has a choice: he can roll the dice and assume that whoever he is working for doesn’t know about his family, wouldn’t exact retribution on his family, or he can divulge their whereabouts and request protection for them from me. It’s most likely he will choose the latter.”

“So, he will die to protect them, and they will have to learn to live without him. And knowing that he died to protect them?”

She nods. “Better to live knowing that someone put their life on the line for yours than for the whole lot to be rotting at the bottom of the ocean.”

Lilith gives me a strange look, her blue eyes almost vacant as she says quietly, “You’d be surprised at the lengths one might go to protect someone they love. The terrible things they’d do. The deep sacrifices they’d make. The idea that someone would literally lie down and die if only to give that other person one moment of peace. Some people say love is a weakness, but I don’t see it that way. Truly, that deep crazed connection to someone else–there’s strength in that. It fortifies your mind and steels your spine. It provides such a peaceful clarity in the mind. Other people might call that insanity, but I call that love.”

I swallow painfully past the sudden lump in my throat. The stinging behind my eyes is back, and I blink rapidly as I step in closer to her. I suddenly have this overwhelming need to speak, so I grab her by her shoulders, forcing her attention on me. “I love you. I would lie down and die at your feet if I thought it would bring you a moment of peace.”

Her jaw clenches, and her breath catches. Her blue gaze is that of an ocean as she stares at me, unblinking. Then she jerks me closer, wrapping her arms tightly around my shoulders, her face pressed into my neck. She whispers, “I know, baby. I know.”

She squeezes me once more, taking a deep breath before she pulls back. She blinks away the tears I see swimming in her eyes, and I attempt to do the same, though less successfully. I swipe my lower eyelids with my fingertips, then clear my throat. “That’s all you have to say?”

She smirks at me. “Ditto.”

I glare at her, reaching out and giving her a little push on her shoulder. “What, you’re Patrick Swayze now?”

“Now you know who Patrick Swayze is?”

I raise my brows, my hands coming up to rest on my hips. “Of course.To Wong Fu. Ghost. Next of motherfucking Kin.”

She laughs. “Do you remember these as a memory?”

“No. Way back when I was bunking with the boys, we did a Patrick Swayze marathon.” I sigh, then smile. “That man sure could dance.”

Lilith smiles, nodding her head in agreement. “I bet that man could do a lot of things.” She inhales deeply, releasing the breath as the tension in her shoulders eases. “Sounds like I missed some good movie nights. Maybe we’ll do that next time instead of a get-shitfaced night, because I kind of feel like shit.”

“Same. I guess I needed a reminder of why I don’t drink. Back to the flavored mineral water for me.”

She nods in agreement, the grimace on her face indicative of the sour stomach she must have. I move to walk around her, but her hand on my arm stops me, so I turn back and meet her eyes. She whispers, “I love you, Toni. Always remember that.”

I give her a bright smile, my hand coming up and squeezing hers. “I know, baby. I know.”

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