Page 126 of Playboy

I press my lips to hers. “I do.” Eyes closing, I blow out a breath. “So we’re okay?”

“We’re okay.” She leans against me, giving me her weight, and I steer her toward the exit. “Man, I really thought you brought me here to convince me to move to Vegas. I was ready to do it too.”

I laugh. “No. I had to come out a day early for that meeting, and I didn’t want to be away from you any longer than I had to be. Plus, I figured we could cross off half the things on your bucket list here. Ya know, keep ya wild while we still can.”

She grins up at me. “I’ll keep you safe. You keep me wild.”

She says it so flippantly, but the truth is, she knows it’s exactly what I needed to hear. She’ll keep me safe because she loves me. She really fucking loves me.

“Deal.” I squeeze her tight. And damn if that isn’t the best damn thing I’ve ever agreed to.

CALLIOPE’S COLUMN

December

New Year, Same(ish) Me

With a new year upon us, I find myself reflecting on what I’ve accomplished in the last twelve months and what I’ve yet to do. The accomplishments of others can be inspiring. But they can also be daunting. They can make you feel like a failure just as easily as they can motivate you. As they say, comparison is the thief of joy. But so is complacency. It’s easy to stop moving forward when life feels daunting. To freeze and believe that since doing it all feels like too much of a challenge, you might as well not try.

That’s a place I never want to wallow in.

No, I may never be a New York Times bestseller, but maybe I will. I won’t know if I don’t try. It’s quite possible I’ll never travel to half the places on my bucket list, nor experience all I want to in my life, but there is still so much I can do.

Maybe bungee jumping will be removed from my list, but I’m adding things I never thought I would. Like marriage and a house. And a book signing.

These aren’t items I’m actively working to check off my list yet. But one day, I will. It’s wild, how much I want them, these things I never thought I was interested in, let alone believed I could have.

Along with all of that, though, I want to stay a bit wild.

And remind myself that I can have it all, even if having it all looks different from what I once imagined.

FORTY-TWO

HANNAH

I fucking did it.One month of back-and-forths with my editor. Round after round of furiously working through edits. Zero sleep. But today I published my sixth book.

I lean back into the couch as I scroll through the social media posts early readers have created. I’ll never get over how a person I’ve never met can so perfectly visualize characters I created. So many of the images tell my story perfectly. It’s incredible. And seeing my words quoted? Reading posts from readers who fell in love with my words or the characters or the world I created? It’s surreal. Each one makes my heart grow a little bigger.

The only thing that would make it better would be if I had the actual paperback in my hand. Unfortunately, author copies take weeks, so all I have is the e-book. It’s trivial, I guess, and nothing could bring me down today.

Since we were in Vegas a month ago, we’ve settled into our relationship even further.

Ava and War welcomed their son Beckham the day after Thanksgiving, and I’ve spent every moment the guys are traveling over at her house, helping with laundry and dishes and dinner while also soaking in every lesson I can so when my baby boy is here, I can put it all to use. Ava is a natural. This is her firstexperience with a newborn, but she had a leg up, since she’s been raising three children with War for the last year.

I never could have imagined being so comfortable holding a newborn, but the first time my best friend put her baby boy in my arms, a switch flipped in my brain. And when she asked me to be his godmother, I just about lost it.

Now I’m even more anxious for our son to arrive.

Noah and Oliver officially live across the hall, and Oliver is obsessed with his new room. While he was at his mom’s, Noah and Daniel decorated it—hockey-themed, of course—as a surprise. The kid was doubly excited when he realized his little cousin’s room across the hall would match his. Hockey wasn’t quite what I had in mind when I told Daniel he could decorate the nursery—don’t they ever get sick of it?—but the joy on Oliver’s face is worth swimming in a sea of Bolts blue every time I step into the room.

I insisted on a gray rocker and gray furniture to keep the blue from being too overpowering.

“Why are you still laying on the couch?” Sara asks as she breaks into my apartment.

Okay, maybe that’s a bit dramatic, since the door was unlocked, but she could have at least knocked.

“You’re going to be late for your own baby shower.”

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