Page 117 of Playboy

Facts that make me irrationally angry.

Which is why I’m still walking after seven when my phone rings and Noah asks if I plan to be home for dinner.

Shit. I try to spend evenings at home when he and Oliver are there.

He and Jen have made it work, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Jen harbors some resentment about Noah’s busy schedule.

I ball my fists and growl in aggravation. Why does this have to be so hard?

I’m angry at Daniel over something that isn’t his fault. If I told him how I was feeling, he’d tell me if I wanted to keep my job, we’d figure it out. He’d hire a nanny to travel with me. And if that didn’t work, I wouldn’t put it past him to give up his dream so he could be home with the baby while I’m gone.

I shake my head and blow out a breath. My muscles relax a fraction as that truth registers with me. Sometimes I forget that I’m not doing this alone.

I head home to talk to Noah before I call Daniel and say something I might regret. I know that man will put me first, so I better figure out what I truly want before I let him do that.

“Why areyou looking at me like that?”

I push the plate of pasta Noah set in front of me to the side. It takes effort, because Noah’s pasta is homemade. He’s kind of a genius in the kitchen, so not diving in when my mouth is watering is a feat of its own.

“I need to talk to you.”

I fold my arms across my chest. “So talk.”

He settles across from me and smiles. He’s not the kind of guy who smirks, but if he were, he’d probably do it right now. I’m being a brat. Luckily, he knows how to deal with me.

So, with that simple expression still on his face, he hums. “You okay?”

Leg bouncing, I wait for the bomb he’s going to drop. I can feel it in the air. Everyone is dropping bombs today. “Get on with it. What do you have to tell me?” I force a smile. It’s not his fault I’m having an atomic bomb kind of day. “Please.”

Angling forward, he rests his arms on the edge of the table. “I found an apartment.”

My back goes ramrod straight. “But you live here.”

Brows creased, he tilts his head. “Hannah, you need the space for the baby.”

“Is this because of all the sex?” I huff. “I know I’ve been obnoxious, but I can actually be quiet.”

He drops his head and laughs. “No. I got headphones a long time ago. And I know how you are. I’d never want you to change,” he adds when I scowl. “You and Daniel need your own space.” He reaches across the table and squeezes my hand. “The two of you are doing this, Hannah, and I’m so fucking happy for you. You’re creating a family, and that man? He loves you so fucking much that I have no concern that once I’m gone, he’ll take care of you.”

I look away, hiding the tear sliding down my face. What he’s saying is true. Every single thing. But everything is changing, and it’s happening so fast.

“I’ll just miss you.” I inhale deeply, wipe at my cheek, then force myself to look at him. “And Oliver. As it is, I barely see him.”

Noah grins. “I forgot to tell you the best part about the apartment. It’s right across the hall.”

The heavy despair pushing down on me lifts. I scramble to my feet and throw myself into Noah’s arms. “Oh, thank god.”

He rubs slow circles over my back. “You’ve got this. You are going to be the best mom, and Daniel is going to be one hell of a dad. And I’ll be right across the hall if you need me.”

I suck in a breath. Just like Liv said, some things have to change. Having it all will look different from now on. I can either embrace it or fight it. And there’s no sense in fighting. Not when the baby will be here soon, whether I’m ready or not. And I’d rather be ready.

THIRTY-NINE

DANIEL

I’ve never been soexhausted.

Probably because Keegan and the new kid, Smiles, and I aren’t clicking.

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