Page 115 of Playboy

“You’re right,” I say meekly, shuffling toward the counter, pants at my ankles.

“Oh, fuck. Now I can see your hairy ass.”

“I don’t have a hairy ass.” Chin to my shoulder, I peek down, but damn, it’s a challenge to see one’s own ass. “I don’t think. Do I?” I glance up at him and shake my head. “Don’t answer that.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” He stalks past me, heading for his bedroom.

Shit. He probably thinks I’m a lunatic. Is he going to tell her?

I hop after him, holding extra tight to the pie tin so it doesn’t fall. “She’s just so horny. Always so horny.”

“Stop talking.” He slams the door in my face.

Dropping my forehead to it, I croak out an “I’m sorry!”

“You need help!” he hollers. “Be a man and tell Hannah to give you a break.”

I straighten and shake my head. Nah, I’ll just soak my dick for a little longer. And then I’ll make another pie.

CALLIOPE’S COLUMN

October

Can You Have Your Cake and Eat It Too?

Can women have it all?

I know it’s a bit existential for me. But before you hit that X and close out of this article, answer the question. Seriously. Can we?

Can we have successful careers and still make time for dating?

Can we use dating apps, or go on dreaded first dates, or finally tell our long-term boyfriends we want more, and still have a career?

Can we get pregnant during a one-night stand, then—in the best interest of the future child—take the time to get to know the baby’s father and, oh yeah, still have a career and goals and dreams for ourselves?

Can we choose not to work so we can focus on being moms?

Can we have kids and still have the career and the husband and the friends and the life and somehow balance every one of those things?

Can we have it all?

The truth is, I don’t know. But I’d really like to have my birthday cake—or, in my case, pie—and eat it too.

And I will.

So grab a spoon and dig in, because we’re going to figure it out.

THIRTY-EIGHT

HANNAH

With a roll of his hips,he sinks into me, and I?—

“Knock-knock.”

Biting back a growl, I save my Word document and close it out. I’ll get back to my characters later.

“Is now a bad time?” Liv asks from the doorway.

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