Page 101 of Playboy

Is it because he can see how unprepared I am? God, I hope not. I don’t want the grandfather of my child to think I’m incapable, or worse, that I don’t care about this pregnancy or my baby. It’s all just so overwhelming, and I’m still trying to come to terms with all the changes that are sure to come.

With a deep breath in, I push all my fears away and force myself back to the conversation. “They’re doing well. We’ll see how September goes. So much of the season will be determined in the next few weeks.”

“Do you travel with the team?” Lake asks.

“Unfortunately,” I hedge, my attention flitting to Gavin. His family owns the team, and I’d hate for him to think I’m complaining about my job. “But I don’t mind. I like to travel.”

“Me too,” Lake says. “But when I was pregnant, traveling was a nightmare. God, all I wanted to do was sleep.”

I nod. “The exhaustion doesn’t make it easy.”

“I wish I could say it’s only a pregnancy thing. The truth is, having a newborn is even more exhausting.” She chuckles.

Breath held, I assess the rest of the group, searching for signs of judgment. Do they see how unprepared I am? Do they know how hard my life is about to become?

But I don’t see a single shred of censure. In fact, Gavin launches into a lighthearted tirade about how exhausting kids can be while Millie nods along. Ford plants a kiss on his wife’s cheek. Here I am again, in my head. I have no fucking idea what I’ll do about my career when this baby is born, but I’m too scared to put my concerns into words.

Once again, Daniel’s warm palm finds another part of my body. With an arm around me, he pulls me against his chest. “We’ll figure it out together,” he mumbles in my ear.

While I know that he can’t possibly be around every day once the baby is born, somehow, I believe him.

Hours later,Daniel’s promise is still echoing in my head.

I enjoyed myself today, despite the realities I was hit with. Millie and Lake are wonderful mothers. Neither showed an ounce of judgment, and it took minutes in their presence to realize that they’ll be great role models for me as I navigate this new season of life.

It’s wild, how easy it was to spend the afternoon with the biggest popstar in the world. Lake’s incredibly down-to-earth. So much so that on more than one occasion, I had to remind myself of who she actually is.

I swear she was even a little shy and uncertain when she asked if she could throw a baby shower for us. Listening to her and Millie talk about who our child might favor, whether he or she will play hockey, and about how fun it will be once all three of our kids can play together made it all seem so real. I could picture all of those things, and none of them seemed scary.

Daniel walks out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel, and my mouth goes dry. My sex drive has always been on the high side, but now that I’m pregnant—and now that I’m in such close proximity to this man so often—it’s practically out of control. When I’m near him, all I want is for him to fuck me hard.

I’m just about to tell him that when the strangest flutter-roll-spasm thing happens low in my belly. “Oh!” I cup my abdomen and press my hand to where I’m pretty sure our baby has just kicked me.

Daniel rushes to me, concern written all over his face. “What’s wrong?”

Though my eyes well, there’s no tempering my wide smile. “I think the baby just kicked.”

“You think?” He kneels between my thighs and blows on his hands to warm them. Holding them inches from my bare belly, he peers up at me, hope swimming in his eyes.

I slide my fingers through his and drag his hand to the right spot. For the first time in a long, long time, I don’t feel lost. “I don’t think,” I tell him. “I know. Our baby just kicked me hello.”

“Hey, peanut,” Daniel murmurs, dipping his head close to my stomach. “Can you give me a fist bump? I’d really like to feel you.”

I can’t help but watch him, in awe of his gentleness. He’s folded over me, our hands melded together, his focus so earnest. And when our baby does it again, a tear slips down my cheek.

Daniel laughs. “Oh my god. I just felt him. That’s our baby, Han.” He blinks up at me. Then, with a shake of his head, he’s back to concentrating on my belly like he’s waiting for another kick.

“We don’t know he’s a him,” I tease, though my words come out a bit garbled because of my emotions.

Glassy brown eyes meet mine, but there are no tears. No, it’s all wonder. “You think he’s a him too, and you’re never wrong.”

I bite my lip, my heart fluttering. “I guess we’ll find out next week.”

While his head is bowed again, his focus intent on our child, I work up the nerve to bring up his comment from this afternoon.

“Did you mean it today?” With my free hand, I run my fingers through his dark hair.

He leans into my touch and lays his head against my stomach. “I mean everything I say to you, but be more specific.”

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