Page 42 of War

When Josie notices the bite missing from the casserole, she picks up her fork, begging to try a scoop right from the dish too. As if it’s meant to be, I dive into the story of how my mom and I always ate it that way.

“Did your mom leave like mine did?” Josie asks as Ava takes the fork from her to dig out a bite.

Wordlessly, Ava hands it over, then drops a small serving onto her plate, cuts it up, and slides it onto Scarlett’s tray. Instantly, my little girl fists a bite, shoves it into her mouth, and squeals.

With a smile on my face, I turn my attention back to Josie. “No, my mom died when I was twelve. But I have lots of great memories of her like this one, and I can’t wait to share them all with you.”

The whole group grows somber in response to my sad confession, but the spell is broken a moment later when Scarlett throws a strawberry at Josie.

“What other traditions did you have?” Josie asks.

“The pajamas are another of my favorites. My mom and I always had matching pj’s, and she always gave them to me on Christmas Eve.”

Ava’s green eyes meet mine. “My mom did that too. It was always my favorite gift. My sister’s too.”

“My mom and I used to go outside and look for reindeer tracks after we opened presents,” Brayden offers.

My chest tightens at the sadness shining in his eyes. Fuck, I didn’t even consider how hard today would be for him since his mom hasn’t called. I really hope she makes an effort this afternoon. “We should do that today, then.”

That, thankfully, has his lips quirking. “Yeah, that’d be cool.”

“Oh, I want to see a reindeer,” Josie hollers. The girl is always excited. “Ava saw one a few weeks ago. Do you think it’s the same one?”

With a tinkling laugh, Ava digs her fork into the casserole. Even though we all have plates, we eat straight from the casserole dish. One by one, we pull it close, then pass it along, though Josie and Brayden make sure to help Scarlett when she’s finished with what Ava set out for her and gesturing for more. It isn’t lost on me, the way they wordlessly continue my tradition. There were no words of apology or asorry for your loss.

It’s a relief. My mom has been gone for decades, yet it never gets easier. Rather than doling out empty platitudes, my family is honoring her and our memories in a way that means more than I can explain.

“No, love bug, I don’t think it’s the same reindeer. That one lives on a farm in Bristol.” An uncertain smile curves her lips. “But ifTylersays it’s okay, maybe I can call his owner and see if we can come by his farm one day and meet the reindeer.”

I like the sound of my name on her lips, even if she says it in that soft voice, her eyes meeting mine as if she’s unsure how she feels about it. I’m guessing that’s how a lot of this will play out. Testing things. Toeing the line. Figuring out just how far each of us will go.

My lips curl at just the thought of it. Yeah, I’m going to like that a lot.

Josie practically climbs onto the table and grasps my outstretched arm, almost causing me to drop my fork into the baking dish. “Can we, Tyler? Pretty please? I’ll do the dishes and make all the beds.”

Laughing, I press a kiss to her head. “How about you eat your breakfast, and Ava and I will see what we can make happen?”

Josie launches herself off her chair, scurries around Ava, and wraps her arms around my middle. “You’re the bestest ever.”

I set my fork down and hold her to me, dropping my head against hers. “Merci, mon chou.” When I pull back, Ava is watching me, her green eyes full of curiosity and wonder, like she’s seeing the real me for the first time.

“You bought her a drum set?” Brayden groans as Scarlett bangs on the last of her gifts.

Already, I’m second-guessing the choice. It’s a plastic toy that lights up and makes premade sounds. It’s not like she’ll be making her own percussion sounds. Or maybe she will, since she’s already walloping on it. In theory, it’s great. It plays fun little tunes that aren’t too terribly loud. In practice, it does sound an awful lot like she’s beating on a drum.

“Couldn’t exactly give her a hockey stick.” I cock a brow at the pile of gear at Brayden’s feet. He unwrapped every piece of hockey equipment he could need this morning.Everypiece. I know that because I went to the store myself and told them I wanted one of everything. When he started playing, he wouldn’t let me buy his equipment. He was adamant that I didn’t spend my money on him. Now that it’s Christmas, he can’t really complain, and he can see that I spoiled the girls just as much.

We’re all spread out on the floor. I stationed myself by the tree, making it easier to pass out presents. Josie is on Ava’s lap. No surprise there. Scarlett is beside them with her drum in front of her, and Brayden is on her left, his legs spread wide to keep Scarlett relatively contained.

“Let me grab a trash bag to clean up all this paper,” Ava offers.

Josie gets up off her lap, but when Ava pushes off the floor, I haul myself up on my knees and hold out a hand to stop her.

“Wait, we have one more present.”

“Is it mine?” Josie says, bouncing on her toes.

I laugh. The girl is surrounded by a mountain of gifts. She never acts spoiled, but she does like pretty things, so I’m not surprised by her question. “No, this one is for Ava.”

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