Page 123 of War

“What the fuck? Is that a—oh god, are you watching porn in the children’s hospital movie theater?”

I practically jump out of my seat at the voice behind me.Fortunately, as I fumble with the TV remote, I manage to hit pause. I can’t remember off the top of my head what happens next. For all I know, Charlotte could be giving a blow job, and then I’ll never recover.I dart a look at the screen, where a giant pink vibrator is now illuminated and standing tall, then at Beckett Langfield, whose face is as pink as the toy.

Clearly distressed, he runs his hands through his hair. “Liv always tells me not to get involved in other people’s love lives. I’ve never agreed until this moment. Fuck, Ava. My eyes are bleeding.”

The loudest snort bursts from me, and I drop my head back, the tears I’ve been crying turning into laughter. For a solid minute, I giggle uncontrollably. At the absurdity of this moment. At Beckett’s face. At the pink dildo on the screen.

When I finally get my breathing under control, Beckett is seated beside me, wearing a slight smile.

Silence settles between us, and I resist the urge to slide under the blanket completely to hide. “How’d you find me?”

“Your husband is very worried about you.”

Hands in my lap, I pick at a piece of lint on the coarse fabric of the blanket. “He called you?”

Beckett coughs out a laugh. “No. He sent a message in the group chat, asking the guys if you’d contacted any of their women. Since I know how much the movie theater meant to you as a kid, I had a feeling I might find you here.”

My breath catches. “This was your first stop? That’s impressive.”

He shrugs. “No. First, I called Hannah.”

I smile. “And she told you I wasn’t responding to her texts.”

My phone was blowing up, so I turned it off a while ago. I’m surprised that Tyler reached out to the guys. He keeps his emotions so close to the vest. I figured he’d shut down rather than ask for help. Maybe if he were the only one hurting, that’s what he’d do. But knowing Tyler, he contacted them out of concern for me. There isn’t a thing he wouldn’t do for me, even if it’s asking for help.

“What’s going on? Why are you hiding here watching”—Beckett winces at the screen—“that?”

“Tyler found out aboutAndrea. That she died.”

Turning to assess me, he frowns. “He didn’t know?”

I shrug, then let my shoulders sag. “No one knows.” Now he’s really confused. “I didn’t want to be known as the girl whose sister died. When I met the girls, they were fun and carefree. So different from what I was used to. They’d talk hot guys and dating and sex?—”

Beckett’s face scrunches.

Grimacing, I lower my gaze to the blanket again. “Sorry.”

He shakes his head. “Believe me, I spend enough time around Sara to know what you girls talk about. It’s amazing, really, how good she is at her job. The woman is the most unfiltered person I’ve ever met.”

I chuckle at the thought of her and all the ridiculous things she says. I sober quickly, though, realizing that now they’ll all know. About Andrea and that I’ve been keeping secrets from them for all these years. And for what? They would have been supportive. There’s no question. Our friendships are based on more than just gossip and fun conversations. The whole group rallied around Sara when we learned about her affair with the Bolts’ former coach. And when Aiden revealed he was having anxiety attacks, the guys stood by him and made sure he got the help and medication he needed.

And when I broke down over Josie time and again, they sat with me in my sorrow and comforted me.

They probably knew from the beginning that Tyler and I didn’t get married for love, yet they said nothing. They let me find my way, they teased me, and they showed up.

Swallowing past the lump in my throat, I meet Beckett’s gaze. “I really screwed up.”

With an arm around my shoulders, he pulls me into a side hug. “We all do. So how are you going to fix it?”

Heart aching, I bite my lip. “That’s just it. I can’t. Tyler and I got married so that the judge would be more likely to approve the adoption. I would have done anything for her.” I glance up at Beckett. “I still would.”

He gives me a small smile. “Of course you would. Because you’re her mother.”

I drop my head into my hands. “Maybe I wanted to be, but I never truly was.”

“Why? Because she’s not your flesh and blood? What the hell does any of that have to do with it? Winnie, Finn, and Addie are just as much my kids as June and Maggie. Sure, I may not have been there when they were born, but there isn’t a thing I wouldn’t do for them. Just like you said.”

“Yeah, well, you didn’t completely fuck it up. No one was telling Beckett Langfield he couldn’t be those kids’ father. The judge is going to take one look at the text messages to my sister and know that not only am I mentally unstable, but I’m a liar.”

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