Page 65 of Dark Shadow of Guilt

When Madeline began to cry, Fia drew her into a fierce hug. “Tears do no good. They change nothing. Only our actions will change our situation.”

“We’ll have to take care of Mother too. Make sure she eats. Clean her up. Keep her room straightened. I don’t think the housekeeper should go in there,” said Darya.

“I won’t buy her booze or ciggies.” Fia pounded her palm on the bed.

Madeline pushed up to lean against the headboard. “We should talk to her. Tell her we need her to take care of us.”

Darya sighed. “We’ve tried, Mads. She doesn’t care. We are all we have now.”

They hugged each other, something they did often in the ensuing years.

Restless, Madeline slid out of bed. In the kitchen, she turned on the faucet to get a glass of water. Carrying it back to the bedroom, she set it on the nightstand. With her arms folded under her head, she picked up the sad memory-lane trip where she’d left off.

The girls survived for years, eating, wearing clean clothes to school, doing homework, taking lessons, going to movies, buying books, and finding fun things to do. They also listened to Mother’s drunken rants, mopped up her messes, and picked her up off the floor at night to go to bed. Fia and Darya bailed her out of jail for DUIs several times. They hid from her crappy, abusive boyfriends when necessary.

The girls had a few hard-fast rules—they did not invite friends to their house, they were never alone with the visiting men, and they kept their home life secret.

One memorable night, Maddy woke up and went into the kitchen for a drink of water. Mother was there, a bottle on the table, a glass in her hand. Her hair was tangled, her robe mis-buttoned, and her sagging face bore all the signs of alcoholism.

She glanced up from her booze, glaring. Rising from the chair, she stumbled across the room and grabbed Maddy’s shoulders. “It’s your fault he left.” Mother drew back an arm and slapped her across the face.

Maddy crumpled to the floor. Mother kicked and kicked until she lost her balance and fell.

Fia and Darya, hearing the ruckus, raced into the kitchen to find Maddy holding her stomach and Mother passed out. The next day, the girls enrolled in martial arts classes.

They also played out scenarios. What ifs. What if Mother tries to hit one of us again? What if some guy tries to lay hands on us?

Exhaling a puff of breath, Madeline rolled to her side. Her sisters were everything to her, her north stars. What would they say about Dominion? She closed her eyes, but sleep remained evasive because she couldn’t keep the past out of her head.

At the end of the summer before Maddy was to begin her sophomore year in high school, Fia and Darya came into her room. They looked serious enough to scare her.

Sitting on the edge of her bed, Darya blurted out, “I’m leaving, Maddy. I was offered an audition for a ballet troupe in New York. I have to take it.”

Madeline shot up straight. “But...”

“I’m leaving, too.” Fia started to cry, hugging Maddy.

Her mouth hung open. “You haven’t graduated.”

“I took classes in summer school. I’m finished. I just won’t go through a ceremony, but I’ll have my diploma.”

Maddy swung her feet onto the floor.

Darya looped an arm over her shoulders, swiping at tears on her sister’s cheeks. “I feel bad, but I have to take this chance, and Fia must make her way in the world. You’ll need to decide which of us you’ll come with. The choice is yours.”

“But why now?” asked Madeline.

“It may be the only chance I get,” said Fia. “We won’t be upset no matter who you choose.”

Madeline chewed her lip. “I want to stay.”

“What?” Darya blinked.

“Until I graduate from high school. Then, I’ll move in with one of you for college.”

“I don’t like it. I won’t go to New York,” said Darya.

“Yes. You will. I’ll do fine until I’m old enough to leave for college. I know the routine.”

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