Page 14 of Buried

I scowled at him. “Fucking call me ‘girly’ one more fucking time, and I’ll shove that wrench so far up your ass that you’ll be tasting steel for the rest of your life,” I snarled at him.

Eyes widening, he held his hands up in a defensive gesture, stepping back from me instantly. “Woah, chill. I was just joking, Adelaide. I’m sorry,” he apologized.

I barked out a laugh, slowly feeling my composure slipping. I was hanging on by a thread, and it was about to snap. And it was going to be ugly as fuck when it did.

“I’m so fucking sick of everyone,” I seethed. He eyed me warily. “I can’t get one goddamn moment of happiness before someone is trying to fuckingslaughterit.”

I had been set on what I wanted. I had been secure in what I was doing with my life. I had been completely secure in my relationship with River. And then, Tristan had to corner me in the fucking kitchen.

I’d been slowly losing my grip on my sanity since then.

I hated it, but it was the kind of effect that Tristan had on me.

“Want to talk about it?” Joseph asked me a bit cautiously.

I snorted. “Do I want to fucking talk about it?” I raged, another humorless laugh escaping my lips. Tears burned in my eyes, but I forced them to stay back. I didn’t want to cry. Did I even have the right to cry? I’d gone behind Tristan’s back and slept with one of his own club members, and now, I had just ripped his heart out of his chest a second time.

Should I just have been selfless and stayed with him?

“The one man that I’ve loved just about my entire fucking life just made me not only rip out his heart but my own with it, and you want to ask me if I want totalkabout it?!” I finally yelled, completely losing it. “I don’t even fucking know why he’shere! I don’t fucking know why the fuck he had to show up!” I screamed, grabbing one of the toolboxes and shoving it to the ground, tears streaming down my face.

There was so much pain in my chest. I wanted it to go away. I didn’t want to feel like this over Tristan. I didn’t want to hurt anymore.

I was so, so tired of hurting.

Fuck, I just wanted to be happy and secure in what I was doing with River. Joey understood it, and what he and I had togetherran even deeper than the shit with me and Tristan had. Why couldn’t Tristan just accept it and let me move on?

“I want to hate him,” I sobbed, tears running down my face. God, I was so fucking weak, and I hated it. Hated myself. “Why can’t I just fucking hate him?!” I screeched.

I threw another toolbox to the ground, a scream of rage slipping past my lips as I did so. Suddenly, strong, muscular arms wrapped around me, locking my arms against my side. River’s cologne surrounded me as he lifted me so my feet were no longer touching the ground.

“Fucking let me go!” I screamed at him, thrashing in his grip, but I knew it was useless. He would never let me do this to myself.

He stayed silent as I continued yelling and kicking, just wanting to destroy something. I needed to alleviate this ache in my chest. Instead, River just effortlessly carried me out of the garage and into the middle of the parking lot, where he finally set me on my feet, gently turning me to face him with a firm grip on my upper arms.

I glared up at him, my chest heaving with anger and sadness. “Who the fuck do you think you are—man-handling me like that?!” I shouted up at him.

Releasing me, he only shrugged at me as he slipped his hands into his pockets, keeping his cool, blue gaze focused on me. I stomped my foot, an enraged scream slipping past my lips as I thrust my hands through my long, dark hair, tugging harshly on the strands.

“Want to tell me what that was all about?” River calmly asked me.

“You can go fuck yourself right along with Tristan and Joseph and the rest of you asshole, biker mother fuckers,” I snarled at him, turning on my heel to storm away from him.

I was done talking about shit. I didn’t want to make the pain worse. I just wanted to do my damnest to ignore it and pray that it would go away on its own with some time.

River growled softly and gently gripped my upper arm, spinning me back around to face him. I glared up at him. “You’re not walking away from me in this state, darlin’, so until you tell me what’s going on, we’re going to be standing right here.” He shrugged again, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his dark jeans once more. “I can stand here all day,” he reminded me.

I defiantly crossed my arms over my chest, watching as his eyes flickered to my chest where my breasts had been pushed up. I deepened my glare. His heated gaze focused back on mine, and he only arched a single brow at me. But those eyes… they were soft and tender, just like they always were for me. I swallowed hard, the fight leaving me just that quickly. I sighed softly, my shoulders sagging in defeat.

“Tristan talked to me in the kitchen a little while ago,” I quietly informed River, my voice breaking.

River stepped up to me, placing his hands on my hips to draw me against him. I leaned into him, needing him to keep me grounded. The ache in my chest eased a little once I was surrounded by him. “Guessing by the mood you were just in, it wasn’t that great of a conversation.”

I shrugged. “It just forced me to relive some shit that I sure as fuck wasn’t trying to,” I informed him. “I wanted to leave my memories with Tristan buried deep down.” I sniffled, more tearsfalling from my eyes. “I’m so tired of hurting, River,” I told him, my voice cracking. “I just want to be happy. Why is that so hard?”

River gently cupped my face in his hands, tilting my head back to look up at him. He gently brushed some of my tears off of my cheeks. “Got to face the rough shit before you can obtain the happiness you want so much,” he told me gently.

I sighed, my bottom lip trembling. “River, will it ever stop hurting so much every time that I look at him, knowing the pain I’ve caused him?” I asked. He frowned at me. “I feel so selfish for wanting to stop hurting, but he just—I just—” I hiccupped.

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