Page 91 of The Devil's Chaos

It had been only a couple of days since I was released from the hospital, and Kai had refused to let me go back to my apartment. It wasn’t safe for me anymore, not without knowing what my brother knew and what he didn’t about the night I got shot. They were working hard behind the scenes to gather intel, but I hadn’t asked for specifics.

Instead, Kai, along with an army of guards, went to my apartment and packed all of my personal belongings up, relocating them to the manor. He promised that once my family was dealt with, I could return to my apartment if I wanted, but I couldn’t think about going back there. Not with it being so close to my brother’s compound. I would likely find somewhere else to live, far away from any reminder of my family.

Kai had barely left my side, insisting on helping me with everything from dressing to eating. It was both comforting and unnerving to have someone care for me so deeply, especially when I had spent my entire life taking care of myself. When he brought me to the manor, he had already brought my things to a room as close to his room as he could get. He respected that I might want my own space, allowing me time to acclimate to the change in environment. But sometimes, the space became too overwhelming, especially when I woke up drenched in sweat, alone. Since getting shot, the nightmare of my mother’s death had plagued me every single night with no reprieve.

I saw her face contorted in agony as she fought against the pigs and the suffocating hand of death, her screams echoing through the barn, reverberating in my very bones. And then, that final moment of silence stretched into eternity when I knew without a doubt that she was gone. The tears welled up in myeyes, hot and angry, as the dam I had constructed so carefully crumbled under the weight of my grief.

I fought to regain control, fighting against the memories, trying to shove them back into the box they belonged in. The voice beside me persisted, gentle and unwavering, grounding me in the present, tearing me away from the painful memories of my past. Slowly, the waves of grief began to ebb, leaving behind a raw and aching emptiness. I opened my eyes, and through blurred vision, I sawhim.

Kai Montgomery.

The savior I never knew I needed.

His piercing azure eyes, framed by long dark lashes, accentuated his sharp jawline and defined cheekbones that could cut through glass, sitting on a chair in the corner of the room. He was the one who never gave up on me, the one who saw past my tough exterior to the broken girl underneath. His gaze held mine, full of understanding and empathy, as if he knew the storm raging inside me and was willing to weather it with me.

“Haven, you’re safe. I’m here,” Kai said softly, his voice a lifeline in the sea of chaos swirling inside of me. Part of me wanted to push him away, to retreat into the safety of my numbness, but there was something about him that had always drawn me in. He tentatively reached out his hand, not quite touching me, as if he was afraid I would shatter at the slightest contact.

“Kai,” I said, shuddering. The air burned in my lungs as it rushed in and out of my body. I found myself locking onto his gaze. My hands trembled at my sides, and my fists clenched so tightly that my nails dug into my palms.

His expression softened as he moved closer to me, his hand hovering in the space between us. I could see the conflict in his eyes, the unspoken words he wanted to say but held back,respecting my boundaries even as he longed to break through them. He knew the effect he had on me from the first day we met. His presence alone was a balm to my shattered soul, a beacon of light in the darkness threatening to consume me. I lifted a trembling hand toward him, the barriers I had built around my heart beginning to crack. As our fingertips brushed, a jolt of electricity shot through me. Tears welled up in my eyes, not of sorrow this time, but of gratitude for the man who looked at me with vulnerability in his eyes that mirrored my own. And in that moment, I made a choice as I stood on the precipice of breaking open.

With shaking hands, I approached him. His touch was tentative at first, as if he feared I would retreat from him again. But as his warm hand enveloped mine, a sense of calm washed over me, and I let out a shaky breath, anchoring myself to him.

“You came,” I whispered.

“I’ll always come for you,” Kai replied, his thumb tracing gentle circles on the back of my hand.

The tears I had been holding back finally spilled over, cascading down my cheeks in rivulets. His other hand came up to cup my face, his thumb gently wiping away the salty trails. His touch was feather-light, yet it ignited a spark deep within me, a glimmer of hope in the darkness that had consumed me for so long.

“Let it out, baby,” he murmured. “You don’t have to carry this burden alone anymore.”

A sob tore from my throat, raw and anguished, as I collapsed into his arms. He cradled me to his chest and settled onto my bed. I clung to him like a lifeline, my fingers fisting the soft fabric of his shirt as I buried my face in the crook of his neck. For the first time in years, I allowed myself to truly feel the depth of my pain, the grief that had been locked away for so long. It crashed over me in waves, threatening to pull me under, but Kai stayed,keeping me afloat. He whispered words of comfort, his lips brushing against my temple as he rocked me gently. The warmth of his touch seeped into my skin, thawing the icy numbness that had settled into my bones.

I cried until my tears ran dry, until the sobs that wracked my body subsided into shuddering breaths. When I finally lifted my head from his shoulder, I found myself gazing into his eyes, those mesmerizing pools of blue that always seemed to see straight into my soul. In them, I saw a reflection of my pain but also something else—hope, understanding, and something I had never experienced before…love. It was so profound it took my breath away.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. My voice was hoarse from crying. “I didn’t mean to fall apart like that.”

He shook his head. “You have nothing to apologize for, little lamb. You’ve been through so much, and it’s okay to let yourself feel it.”

His words, spoken with such sincerity and conviction, struck a chord deep within me. For so long, I had been alone, shouldering the weight of my bloodline, my past, and the scars it had left behind.

"I don't know how to do this," I confessed, my voice barely above a whisper. "I've spent so long running, hiding, surviving. I don't know how to let anyone in."

Kai's gaze softened, his free hand reaching up to tuck a stray lock of hair behind my ear. The tenderness in his touch nearly undid me. "You don't have to do this alone anymore, Haven. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere."

A single tear escaped, trailing down my cheek. Kai's thumb gently brushed it away, his touch lingering on my skin. I closed my eyes, allowing myself to savor the warmth of his presence, the steady beat of his heart against my palm.

"What if I'm too broken?" The question slipped out before I could stop it, revealing the deepest fear that had taken root in my heart.

Kai's hand cupped my cheek, tilting my face up to meet his gaze. "You're not broken, Haven. You're a survivor. You're the strongest person I know, and I will spend every day reminding you of that if I have to."

His words settled into the cracks of my soul, filling the empty spaces with light and warmth.

“I’m scared,” I admitted. “I’ve never let anyone get close…not since…before.” I decided against telling him about my mother. I wasn’t ready to have that conversation right now. “What if I can’t be what you need me to be?”

He intertwined his fingers with mine. “I don’t need you to be anything other than yourself. I see you—all of you—and I’m not going anywhere.” He leaned in, his forehead resting against mine. Our breaths mingled in the scant space between us, and the world fell away. “Let me be your strength,” he whispered, brushing his lips against my skin. “Let me stand by your side, no matter what comes our way.”

“Okay," I breathed, the word escaping my lips like a prayer. "Okay.”

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