Page 71 of The Devil's Chaos

Kai’s eyes widened slightly at my revelation, a flicker of something—pity, perhaps—crossing his face before his stony mask slipped back into place. “Why didn’t you go to the police? Get help?”

A bitter laugh escaped my lips. “You think I didn’t try? My brother has people hidden everywhere. They’d bring me right back to him, and then my punishment would be even worse.” Ishuddered at the memories, the phantom pains of broken bones and endless darkness resurfacing.

Kai ran a hand through his hair, frustration evident in the tense set of his shoulders. “So what, you just gave up? Resigned yourself to being his punching bag for the rest of your life?”

Anger flared in my chest, hot and sharp. “You have no idea what it’s like to live this way,” I hissed. “The constant fear, always looking over your shoulder, never knowing when he’ll strike next. It’s easy for you to judge from your high horse as the son of the police commissioner, but you’ve never had to survive what I have.”

“Haven…” he started, his voice was softer now, almost apologetic. But I cut him off before he could continue.

“Don’t. Don’t you dare pity me,” I snapped. “I don’t want your sympathy. I want you to understand why I couldn’t tell you about my brother that night.”

I retrieved my phone from my end table, my hands trembling as I opened the message from my brother. “There’s nowhere I can go that he won’t find me. He knew about you and me. He infiltrated your manor and killed Mila’s best friend. He did that to show me that there was nowhere I could go that he wouldn’t find me, Kai. He knew I was at the manor the whole time. He wanted you to know that no one in The Brotherhood is untouchable. Everything he does is calculated and done to control the narrative. And my father is no better. My mother tried to run, and he…” I trailed off, my voice choked with emotion as I remembered the day I lost my mother. I handed him my phone and took a shaky breath as I looked away. He hit play on the video of Lacey, and I closed my eyes as the sounds of her screams played.

When the video was over, he was quiet. I waited for his response, but he was silent. When I looked up at him, his expression softened slightly, and he reached out hesitantly, hisfingers brushing against my arm in a gesture of comfort. I flinched instinctively but didn’t pull away.

“Haven,” he whispered my name, his voice strained.

His touch was gentle as if he was afraid I might shatter at any moment. I hated how vulnerable I felt, how exposed and raw his gaze made me. I wanted to pull away, to retreat back into the safety of my walls, but I forced myself to stay still, to let him see just a glimpse of the broken pieces of my soul.

“Now do you see why we can’t be together? I’ll always be a Benson, and you’ll always be my family’s enemy.”

His jaw clenched, a muscle ticking in his cheek. “I don’t care who your family is.”

I searched his face, looking for any trace of deception. “You still don’t understand,” I insisted. “My family, especially my brother…they’ll never let me go. They’ll hunt me down, and they won’t hesitate to destroy anyone who stands in their way, including you.”

Kai’s grip on my arm tightened slightly as he pulled me closer. His breath was warm against my skin. “I’m not afraid of them. I won’t let them hurt you anymore. I’ll find a way to keep you safe, even if it means going up against your entire family.”

I desperately wanted to believe him and let myself fall into the comfort and security he offered. But the rational part of my brain, the part that had been conditioned by years of abuse and manipulation, screamed at me to run, to push him away before he got caught in the crossfire of my family’s twisted games.

“You can’t protect me. No one can. I’m too far gone, too damaged. I’m poison. I’ll only end up dragging you down with me.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

I shook my head as tears blurred my vision. “I can’t do this anymore.”

He reached up to brush a stray tear from my cheek. “I’m not asking for your permission. I’m telling you that I’m not going anywhere.”

I stepped back, breaking his hold on me. “This isn’t some fucking fairy tale where the hero swoops in and saves the damsel in distress.” A sob tore from my throat. “You have to let me go.”

His expression hardened. “I can’t do that, Haven.”

“Then I’ll do it for you. I told you at the manor that I didn’t want to see you again, and I meant it. Whatever this is between you and me is done.” Even as I said the words, it felt bitter in my mouth.

“You don’t mean that,” he said. “You can’t just walk away from this— from us.”

I laughed bitterly, the sound harsh and grating even to my own ears. “There is no ‘us,’ Kai. There never was. You have your secrets with your Brotherhood and The Hunt and the orgies, and I have mine. It was just sex, a fantasy, a momentary escape from the nightmare that is my life. But it’s time to face reality.”

“I have a duty to uphold the traditions of The Brotherhood.”

“Yes, you do.”

“What happened with Mila meant nothing to me,” he continued. “I was only doing what was required.”

“But it meant something tome. I am not okay with what you did with her, and it’s my fault. I went into this with you naïvely, and that’s my fault. I didn’t ask any questions. I didn’t look deeper. I should have stayed away from you, but I didn’t. I chose to keep feeding the flame, and I got burned.”

“What can I do to fix this?” he asked, reaching for me again, but I stepped back, putting more distance between us. “You’re scared, and I get it, but pushing me away isn’t the answer.”

I shook my head, my heart aching with the weight of what I had to do. “You can’t fix this. No one can. The damage is done, and the sooner we accept that, the better off we’ll both be.”

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