Page 94 of The Devil's Chaos

Gratitude washed over me at her understanding. “Thank you. I’ll be right back.”

I hurried to the bedroom, my mind racing with possibilities of what Archer needed to discuss with Kai. I quickly slipped on a pair of leggings and a soft white sweater, running a brush through my tangled hair before rejoining Mila in the kitchen.

She handed me a steaming cup of coffee, and the rich aroma helped to calm my frayed nerves. We settled at the now-clean table, sipping our drinks in contemplative silence.

“I know you’re worried about Kai,” Mila began, her voice gentle. “But Archer needs answers, and he’s just trying to figure out the best way to move forward, given everything that’s happened.”

I nodded, my fingers tightening around the warm ceramic. “I know me being here isn’t easy on anyone. I never meant to cause any discord between Kai, Archer, or anyone else in The Brotherhood.”

“You didn’t. Archer, Kai, and Theo have all grown up together. They’ve bled for each other, and any one of them would gladly lay their lives down for each other. This stuff with your family isn’t enough to change that. Archer is a fair man, and he understands what it means to love someone so much you’d do some pretty crazy things for them, even when it means forsaking your brothers.”

“I just don’t want Kai to pay for my sins.”

Mila reached across the table, placing her hand over mine. “Haven, you have to know that none of this is your fault. Your brother’s actions are his own, and you can’t carry that burden.”

Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, and I blinked them back. “How can you feel that way when I am the reason your friend was killed? If I had just said something, she might still be alive.”

Mila’s eyes welled up with tears, but she squeezed my hand, her eyes filled with compassion. “I won’t lie and say it doesn’t still hurt to think about losing Lacey. She was my best friend, and I miss her every single day. But I also know you were as much a victim in all this as she was. Your brother has manipulated and threatened you, using your love for Kai against you. You did what you thought you had to do to protect theman you love. I can’t fault you for that. No matter how much her absence in my life ripped me apart, the blame lies on your brother, never you.”

A single tear escaped, trailing down my cheek. “I’m so sorry, Mila. I never wanted anyone to get hurt because of me.”

She reached out, gently wiping the tear away. “I know. And I forgive you. We all do. The only person to blame is Alexander Benson. You know, after her death, Kai was beside himself. I thought it was because he felt responsible for what happened as if any of us could have stopped it. It wasn’t until he told me the truth I realized he wasn’t himself because you had left him.”

“That night was one of the best nights of my life…until it wasn’t,” I admitted. “When I realized Alex was at the party, I went after him. I tried to stop him.”

“I know,” she said softly.

“Kai and I never spoke about our obligations to our families. We just pretended like we were two different people living different lives than the ones we had been born into.” I took a shuddering breath, “When I saw that video of the four of you together, it felt like someone had stabbed me in the heart. And then I saw what Alex did to Lacey, and my whole world crumbled apart. I felt like I was outside looking in, like I had no control over any aspect of my life. The more I fought my brother, the more people around me got hurt or killed, and all I could think about was what would happen to Kai if I stayed with him. I couldn’t bear the thought of my brother hurting him to punish me. So I did the only thing I could think of to protect him—I left.”

Mila nodded in understanding. “I get it, Haven. You were trying to shield him the only way you knew how. But you have to know, walking away nearly destroyed Kai. He was a wreck after you left. And as for the video of us together, no one was supposed to be recording that, but I imagine that was Maddie’s doing. The Brotherhood demands sacrifice from both its menand their women. What you saw was a part of that, and I can promise you that no one who participated wanted to be there. It’s this fucking archaic patriarchy with its masochistic rules.”

I swallowed hard, guilt twisting in like a knife in my gut. “I never meant to hurt him. Or anyone. I thought I was doing the right thing.”

“I know you did. And deep down, I think Kai knows that too. But that man loves you, and believe me, he is not the ‘love’ type. Losing you, not knowing if you were safe or even alive—it tore him apart. I’ve never seen him the way I did after you rescued me.”

“I don’t know how to fix this, how to make things right. I’ve made so many mistakes. People have died because I wasn’t strong enough.”

She squeezed my hand again. “You start by forgiving yourself. What happened to Lacey, the impossible situation your brother put you in, none of it was your fault. You’re a victim in this, too, Haven. It’s time you start believing that.”

I drew in a shaky breath, trying to absorb her words.

“And as far as I’m concerned, this shit with Maddie is over too. You gave her exactly what she deserved, and I am very thankful for that.”

“Why are you being so kind to me? I’m the daughter of your enemy—the sister to the monster who kidnapped you.”

“I know better than anyone that we can’t choose our family. Hell, you’ve been forced to entertain the skeleton in my closet—my father—enough to know that we all come from families built on lies and dishonorable acts,” her expression softened. “I don’t see you as the daughter of an enemy or the sister of a monster. I see a woman who has been through hell, who has had to make impossible choices to protect the people she loves. You’re not responsible for your family’s actions. You are only responsiblefor yourself. From what I’ve seen, you have a good heart. Or else I wouldn’t be here talking to you right now.”

She paused, taking a sip of her coffee before continuing. “And from where I’m sitting, you’ve shown nothing but bravery and selflessness. You risked your own life to save mine, to help us take down your brother once and for all, knowing full well the consequences you could face. That’s not the mark of an enemy, Haven. That’s the mark of a friend—family even.”

Her words hit me like a punch to the gut, and I felt the air rush out of my lungs. After years of living under my brother's thumb, of being made to feel like nothing more than a pawn in his twisted games, the idea that someone could see me as anything else was almost too much to bear.

“I don't know what to say,” I whispered, my voice thick with emotion. “I've spent so long believing I was tainted by association— that no one could ever see past my last name.”

Mila reached across the table, grasping my hand in hers. “Well, get used to it because, as far as I’m concerned, you're one of us now. You've more than proven your loyalty, and we take care of our own.”

Tears blurred my vision, and I blinked rapidly, trying to clear them. “Thank you, Mila. For everything.”

She smiled, squeezing my hand once more before releasing it. “Anytime. Now, what do you say we go see what the boys are up to? I have a feeling Archer's interrogation tactics might be a bit much for poor Kai to handle on his own.”

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