Page 87 of The Devil's Chaos

That’s what happened to my mother.

She was strong and beautiful. Far too beautiful for my father. She protected me until it led to her death. It’s a strange thing that when you are dying, you start to remember things that you hid deep in the recesses of your mind. I was back on the day of my mother’s death—only six years old, not yet soiled by the cruelty of the world I was born into.

It was raining, and my mother had packed me into her black Lexus. We drove for hours before reaching a gas station in the middle of nowhere.

“Mommy is going to get some gas. Why don’t you go inside and get some snacks?” She handed me a twenty dollar bill and squeezed my hand.

“Okay, Mommy. Do you want anything?”

“No, darling. Make it quick. We need to get back on the road.”

I nodded and hopped out of the car, skipping toward the gas station door. It was one of those gas stations that still had a pay phone on the outside and one of those little carousels for children; the bright paint faded and chipped from years in the sun. I pushed the door open, the bell at the top chiming loudly to announce my arrival to the attendant. I walked through the aisles, looking for the candy aisle. I spotted it and grabbed my favorite purple bag with the words “Share Me” on the packaging. Standing on my tiptoes, I reached for chocolate milk, my fingers barely touching it before I heard a loud screeching noise. I looked over my right shoulder and saw a black suburban slide to a stop next to Mommy's car, and Daddy’s bodyguards emerged.

My mother’s strong hands grabbed me from behind, carried me into the back room of the gas station, and set me down behind some boxes that she had moved to create a tiny crawl space.

“Haven, Mommy needs you to play a game of hide and seek, except I need you to hide and not come out until Mommy andDaddy leave.” Her blue eyes were filled with tears, and her hands were ice cold and sweaty.

“No, Mommy. Don’t leave me.”

“Oh, sweet girl. Don’t be afraid. Once we are gone, you can come out and give this paper to the man at the register. Tell him to call this number. Someone will come and get you, and you’ll be safe.”

“But Mommy…you’re scaring me.”

“I know, and I’m sorry, baby. I thought we’d have more time. I love you, my angel, always. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”

She planted kisses all over my cheeks and held my face in her hands, soaking in my appearance like it was the last time she would see me.

“Promise me, you’ll stay here until it’s quiet,” she whispered, the sound of the bell chiming at the entrance forcing her to lower her volume.

“I promise,” I nodded, tears running down my cheeks. I watched her disappear through the door, leaving me in the darkness. I clutched my doll tight between my fingers and stayed quiet, hidden behind the boxes, just like she instructed me.

Murmured voices drifted underneath the door, and it sounded like my mother was arguing with someone. There were sounds of commotion and glass breaking, followed by several popping noises. I tuned my ears in to listen for any noises that would tell me if it was quiet enough to leave my hiding place. The front bell chimed, and then more silence. I stayed in my hiding spot for a few minutes before the door to the backroom I was in opened. Curling into my body, I tried to make myself as small as possible. The sound of heavy footsteps walking in my direction had my heart racing. I tried to control my breathing, hoping whoever was out there wouldn’t hear me. I could tell bythe sound of the footsteps that it was not my mother, and I was terrified.

“Come out, come out, wherever you are, little Haven. It’s Sergei. You don’t have to be afraid.”

Sergei was my father’s right-hand man and had been with our family since I was born. As I aged, I heard that he was a high-ranking member of theSpetsnaz, the Russian equivalent of Navy Seals, but he had left Russia in search of a newfamilyafter thePakhanof a prominent Bratva he was a part of was killed off. He had a penchant for blood and destruction, and he found a home with my father. I never knew why or how, but he had always been there. But until this day, I had always looked up to him as my silent protector.

I dared not move, not even a muscle, as his voice filled the room. His tone was smooth, but there was an underlying edge to it that sent shivers down my spine. I clutched my doll tighter, willing myself to be invisible and blend into the darkness surrounding me.

But fate had other plans for me that day.

Sergei seemed to sense my presence, his heavy footsteps drawing closer and closer until he stood right outside the stack of boxes behind which I crouched. I held my breath, praying that he wouldn’t find me, that he would give up and leave me alone so I could go and find my mommy. The smell of motor oil and dust filled my nostrils as I pressed my back against the wall, holding my breath.

“Haven, darling Haven,” Sergei crooned, his voice now just a whisper away. “There’s no need to hide. Your mommy and daddy are waiting for you outside.”

Silence.

The silence stretched on, broken only by the sound of my breathing, loud in my ears, and fear gripped me like a vice. Then, suddenly, the footsteps retreated, moving away from the room Iwas hiding in. I held my doll so tightly that its eyes seemed to stare back at me accusingly. Every sound made me flinch. Every creak sent a jolt of fear through me. I needed to find my mommy. I summoned all my courage and peeked out from behind the boxes. The room was empty, bathed in a dim light that filtered in through a small window high above. Taking a deep breath, I pushed myself up from the floor and crept toward the door. I strained my ears for any sign of danger, any hint that Sergei or anyone else was lurking nearby. I opened the door slowly and peered out into the deserted hallway, shadows dancing along the walls like specters. The air in the hallway was thick with the scent of gasoline and something else, something metallic that made my stomach churn. Clutching my doll, I stepped out into the hallway, and strong arms scooped me up, lifting me off the ground and holding me tight to their chest. I screamed and cried as the Skittles fell from my fingers, decorating the worn-out, stained carpet with small rainbow candies.

“Let me go!”

“Easy now,malyshka.” Sergei hushed. “It’s time for you to come out and join your father and mother.”

I fought against him, but my tiny fists were nothing against his large frame. It was like hitting a brick wall. We passed the counter, and the metallic smell got stronger. I saw the attendant crumpled up against the wall, blood splattered behind him, with little pieces of skull and brain matter decorating the wall and floor around him. That was the first time I saw a dead body, and I thought it would scare me and send me into a fit of hysterics, but all I could think about was whether or not they would be able to get the blood stain off the wall.

Sergei carried me out of the gas station, his grip firm and unyielding. As we emerged into the bright sunlight, I squinted, tears streaming down my cheeks as I frantically searched for my mother. Sergei carried me toward my father at the back ofthe Suburban, where he and his bodyguards stood with grim expressions on their faces. My mother lay crumpled in the back of the Suburban, her blue dress stained with blood. My heart pounded in my chest as I struggled to make sense of the scene before me.

My mother’s eyes met mine briefly before her head fell, unable to hold my gaze.

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