Page 80 of The Devil's Chaos

Black spots danced in my vision. I was on the verge of passing out when suddenly, the pressure on my throat vanished. I gasped, rolling to my side, and gulped in lungfuls of precious air.

Alex sat on the bed beside me and tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear—his attempt at comforting me after his outburst. “I don’t know why you always test me, baby. You know I have a temper, and you always push me. You know I love you so much, and sometimes it just makes me so crazy.”

I met his gaze. My chest heaved with exertion, and I struggled to hold back the tears swimming in my eyes. I hated letting him see my weakness.

“Do you have anything to say to me?” he asked.

“I’m sorry,” I forced out.

“That’s my good girl,” he cooed. He dug his fingers into my cheeks and pulled my face to his, forcing me to kiss him. Standing up, he unbuttoned his pants and pulled out his dick. “Now, get on your knees and apologize like you mean it.”

I wanted to fight; believe me, I did. But if I did, he might actually kill me in his drunken stupor. If I just did what he wanted, he would go, and they would see the hell I was living in. Maybe then, Archer would understand why I was willing to risk my life to save his bride and atone for the sins of my bloodline. Maybe this is what it would take to be free finally.

Slowly sliding off the bed, I kneeled in front of him and wrapped my hands around his erection. I took him into my mouth, fighting back the urge to gag. His fingers tangled in my hair, yanking painfully as he thrust into my throat. I tried to block it out, to go somewhere else in my mind, but the brutality of it kept me tethered to the present.

“That’s it, just like that,” Alex groaned, his head falling back in pleasure. “You’ve always been so good at this, Haven. Such a perfect little slut for your big brother.”

In the corner of my vision, I saw the closet door open and made eye contact with Kai, who, if not stopped, was about to make this situation a lot worse. I hoped the look on my face was enough to warn him not to do anything stupid. I shook my head once, and god help me, the look of resignation before Archer pulled him back inside broke me. I could only imagine how he felt being forced to watch me reduced to such a low level, and I wouldn’t let him save me.

Once the closet door was closed, I squeezed my eyes shut, hot tears streaming down my cheeks. I wanted it to be over, for him to finish and leave, so I hollowed my cheeks and swirled my tongue around his shaft.

“That’s it, you filthy whore. Wrap those lips around my dick and make me come.”

Alex’s thrusts became more erratic, his grip on my hair bordering on excruciating. With a guttural moan, he spilled himself down my throat, “Swallow my cum, Haven.” He held me in place until I swallowed every drop.

Only then did he release me, shoving me away like a used toy. I stayed on my knees, coughing and sputtering, bile rising in my throat. Alex tucked himself back into his pants, looking down at me with satisfaction. I cast my eyes down, refusing to look at him.

“Clean yourself up. You look pathetic,” he sneered. “I’ll see you in a couple of days, baby sister. Thank you for being my favorite fuck toy.”

I nodded mutely, not trusting myself to speak. Alex leaned down and planted a sloppy kiss on my forehead before stumbling out of the bedroom. A moment later, I heard the front door slam shut.

I remained kneeling on the floor, my body trembling uncontrollably as silent sobs wracked my frame. Humiliation and shame burned through me. The closet door creaked open, and I heard cautious footsteps approaching. I couldn’t bring myself to look up to see the pity or disgust in their eyes.

“Haven…” Kai’s voice was hoarse, laced with pain and fury. He knelt beside me, his hand hovering with uncertainty, and I knew he was afraid to touch me.

I flinched away from him. “Don’t,” I croaked out. My voice was raw and broken. “Please, just don’t.”

He retracted his hand, and the sight of his anguish only intensified my guilt and self-loathing.

I didn’t want his apologies or his sympathy. I didn’t deserve it. I was tainted—a broken shell of a person who had long since lost any semblance of dignity or self-worth. I wanted to scream, to unleash the anguish that had built up inside me over the years…but I couldn't find my voice.

Without another word, I stood, rushed toward my bathroom, and slammed the door shut. I needed space from Kai because I knew he would try to comfort me, and then I would crumble, and there wasn’t time for that. Not while Mila was locked in my brother’s room.

I locked the bathroom door behind me and turned on the shower, cranking the water as hot as it would go. Steam filled the room as I stripped off my clothes with shaking hands, letting them fall to the marble floor in a heap. I stepped underthe scalding spray, welcoming the searing pain on my skin. It was a reminder that I could still feel something other than the numbing emptiness that threatened to consume me as I washed away the filth and degradation. I could still taste him in my mouth. I gagged, doubling over as dry heaves wracked my body. Tears mingled with the cascading water, and I let out a silent scream, pounding my fists against the tiled wall.

After my shower, I opened my bathroom door and was relieved to see Kai was no longer there. I dressed, wearing a loose black t-shirt and matching shorts, and took a deep breath, steeling myself before opening my bedroom door. I couldn’t hide forever, no matter how much I wanted to.

Kai and Archer were sitting in the living room, and I took a spot at the opposite end of the couch from Kai and wrapped myself in my dark gray couch blanket. The silence stretched between us. It was thick and suffocating. I kept my eyes fixed on my hands as I picked at loose strings on the blanket.

“I changed my mind.”

I felt Archer shift in his chair. He was afraid that I’d changed my mind about helping him get Mila back.

But he was dead wrong.

“I don’t want to watch you burn him alive,” I looked up at him, fire in my eyes. “I want to hold thegoddamnmatch.”

34

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