Page 66 of The Devil's Chaos

The rational part of my brain screamed at me to pull over, saying I was in no state to be behind the wheel. But I couldn't stop. I needed to put as much distance between myself and that nightmare of a masquerade as possible. My phone continued to buzz, Kai's name lighting up the screen with each new call and text. I wanted to hurl the device out the window, to sever this last connection to him, but some masochistic part of me couldn'tlet it go. I don’t know how long I drove, but eventually, I found myself pulling into the underground garage of my apartment building, operating on pure muscle memory. I stumbled from the car, not even bothering to lock it behind me as I staggered toward the elevator. Tears blurred my vision, my chest heaving with sobs I could no longer contain. The betrayal and heartache churned in my stomach like acid.

The elevator ride to my floor seemed to take an eternity, the confines of the metal box closing in on me as I struggled to breathe. When the doors finally slid open, I practically fell into the hallway, my legs threatening to give out beneath me. I fumbled with my keys, my hands shaking so badly that it took me three tries to unlock my door.

Once inside, I slammed the door shut, engaging every lock with a manic desperation. As if a few flimsy bolts could keep out the pain that had already taken root deep inside me. I leaned against the door, my legs finally giving out as I slid to the floor. The dam broke, and I dissolved into gut-wrenching sobs. My entire body shook with the force of my anguish. I pulled my knees to my chest, hugging myself tightly as if I could physically hold the shattered pieces of my heart together.

I don't know how long I sat there on the cold, hard floor, my cries echoing off the walls of my empty apartment. Minutes, hours—time had lost all meaning. The gown that had made me feel so beautiful, so desired, now felt like a cruel mockery; the fabric twisted and wrinkled around my trembling form. With shaking hands, I reached behind me, fumbling for the zipper. I needed to get it off, to shed this reminder of the fairy tale that had turned into a nightmare.

The dress pooled around my waist as I finally managed to tug it down, the cool air hitting my bare skin like a slap. I let it fall to the floor as I stumbled to my feet, not caring about the expensivefabric as I stepped over it, leaving it behind like the tattered remnants of my broken dreams.

I staggered into the bathroom, flicking on the light. My reflection stared back at me from the mirror, a broken, hollow shell of a woman I had been just hours before. My carefully applied makeup was smeared across my face, black tracks of mascara cutting through the remnants of my blush and lipstick. My eyes were red and swollen, the green irises dull and lifeless. My hair, once elegantly coiffed, hung in tangled disarray around my face. I looked as broken as I felt, a shattered porcelain doll discarded on the unforgiving bathroom tile. I hardly recognized myself.

With shaking hands, I turned on the shower, cranking the temperature as hot as possible. I needed to wash away his touch, his scent, any trace of him from my body. Steam filled the small room as I stepped under the scalding spray, the water sluicing over my skin like a baptism of fire. I scrubbed at my flesh until it was raw and aching, as if I could somehow cleanse myself of the memories, the feelings that still clung to me like a second skin. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t erase the imprint of his hands on my body, the ghost of his lips against mine. He was etched into my very being, a tattoo on my soul that I could never remove.

30

THIRTY

KAI

It took everything I had to not rip Haven out of the car and fuck her until she decided to listen to me. I would tie her up in my room, hands and feet bound, spread-eagle on my bed. I'd gag that brazen mouth of hers so she couldn't talk back. Then I'd tease and torment her body for hours, bringing her to the edge again and again until she was a pleading, desperate mess. Only when she was truly broken, wholly submissive to my will, would I finally let her come. And I'd make her beg for it, beg for my cock inside her.

Instead, I let her go.

And it fucking killed me to do so.

“Everything okay?” Theo interrupted my carnal thoughts.

I snapped out of my lurid fantasy and realized Theo was still waiting for an answer. “Yeah, everything’s fine,” I lied, my voice strained. I couldn’t let him see how much Haven got under my skin. “Just a little disagreement, that’s all.”

Theo raised his eyebrow, clearly not buying it. “Must have been some disagreement. You look like you’re about to murder someone.”

I forced a laugh, but it sounded hollow even to my own ears. “I might.”

Stalking back into the house, my body thrummed with pent-up aggression. Haven's defiance had pushed me to the brink, and I was barely holding onto my control. I needed to blow off some steam before I did something I'd regret.

I headed straight for my home gym, stripping off my jacket and shirt as I went. I wrapped my hands and started pummeling the heavy bag, imagining it was Haven's pert little ass I was pounding. Each vicious strike of my fists helped channel my fury, but it did nothing to quell the raging hard-on straining against my jeans.

Haven was an enigma.

She was a raging storm.

Sudden.

Unpredictable.

Powerful.

Commanding.

Devastating.

Wild.

Raw.

And utterly magnificent.

I was in love with her, and it fucking hurt letting her walk away. But neither of us were in a good place to have a conversation. Not when she refused to listen to me. I knew she would be guarded, but goddamn if she didn’t drive me absolutely insane with her obstinance. The more she pushed me away, the more I wanted to grab hold and never let go.

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