And I don’t want to.
The thought surprises me.
Because for all my panic, for all the doubts and fears clawing at the edges of my mind, there’s something else buried underneath it all. Something quieter.
Something solid.
Something sure.
I don’t want to run.
I want to figure this out.
For her.
For me.
For both of us. And for Robbie.
I scrub a hand down my face, exhaling slowly.
It’s just… a lot.
The storm outside picks up, wind rattling the glass, making the trees sway violently against the gray sky. A branch raps against the glass of the conservatory over and over.
I don’t know how to do this.
I don’t know what kind of father I’m supposed to be to a newborn when I’m still learning how to be one to the five year old I already have.
But I do know one thing.
I meant what I said to Annie last night.
She’s not in this alone.
No matter what happens next, no matter how terrifying this feels, I’m here.
But my thoughts keep circling back to the same damn thing—what if I screw this up? What if I can’tdo this?
Before I can start another round on the same damn carousel I’ve been on for hours, a sharp knock against the glass door pulls me from my thoughts. I glance over my shoulder, already knowing who it is.
Annie stands in the doorway, arms crossed over her chest. She’s barefoot, dressed in a pair of leggings and one of my sweatshirts, her damp blonde hair pulled into a messy bun. She looks tired. Or maybe just drained.
She hesitates for half a second before stepping inside, closing the door behind her.
I sit up a little straighter, watching as she moves toward me. She stops near the long wooden table in the center of the room, resting her hand lightly against the surface. The space between us feels heavy, filled with too many things left unsaid.
Finally, she exhales. “Been looking for you.”
I nod but don’t say anything right away.
She gestures toward the storm outside. “Hell of a day.”
I huff out a dry laugh. “Yeah.”
Another stretch of silence. Then, quietly, she says, “Been in here a while?”
I shrug, leaning forward, resting my forearms on my knees. “Needed some space to think.”