Page 53 of Castle's Cards

Iholdmybreath,waiting for Carter to leave before collapsing on the floor in tears.

Why did I react that way? None of this is Carter’s fault. He didn’t buy my building or offer my landlord so much money that they’re going to tear down my home. So why did I react like he is?

I pull my knees to my chest. I know why I did. Because Carter represents everything that I want but don’t have. He represents the easy life that Izzy and I don’t have. It’s not fair to blame him, though. He didn’t ask for this. He even offered to help.

But I don’t want to constantly be dragging him into my problems. This isn’t a one-off circumstance or something that just popped up. Things like this will be constants throughout my entire life. Hopefully Izzy will be able to find herself in better circumstances after college.

“Addy?” I hear from behind me. Speaking of my sister. I take a deep breath and wipe my eyes before turning around and smiling.

“Hey, Iz. Sorry about that. I didn’t mean for you to hear any of it.” I try to smile, but it’s wobbly and uncertain. Izzy rolls her eyes and sits on the floor next to me.

“Stop pretending like you’re fine. I know you think I’m just a kid, but I’m almost an adult and I promise I can handle things right along with you. We’re supposed to be a team, right?” Izzy leans forward and grabs my hand. “This is really stressing you out, and I think we should take a deep breath together.”

I want to laugh and cry at the same time, but instead I take a breath with Izzy. After we both exhale, she smiles.

“See? Isn’t that better?” Izzy leans in and hugs me. “Are you okay?”

“Not at all. This is about the worst thing that could happen to us. I don’t know what I’m going to do,” I admit, giving her a small smile. “And in only two weeks. I have barely any money saved up from my paychecks to put down a deposit on another place. I don’t want to take you to the homeless shelter while I earn the money.”

Izzy sits back against the wall and sighs.

“Yeah, this is a real pickle.” Izzy picks at her nails before looking up at me with determination. “But I know you’ll figure it out. You always do, Addy. You’re the smartest, coolest person I know. If anyone can do this, it’s you.”

I smile and ruffle her hair. She crinkles her nose and swats my hand away before making a face and rolling her eyes.

“When did you get so smart? You grew up on me faster than I could blink,” I say, pulling Izzy to me and hugging her. She chuckles before pulling away.

“It’s all because of you. Who knows how I would have turned out with someone else for a sister?” Izzy shudders. “Never mind, I don’t even want to think about that. Are you ready to eat some dinner? ‘Cause I’m starving.”

“Like Marvin?” I bump her playfully. Izzy sticks out her tongue and I laugh before standing up and smoothing my clothes. Then I wipe the tears from my face before smiling at my sister. “You want pasta? We still have some shells and a jar of alfredo sauce in the fridge.”

Izzy’s stomach growls in response.

“Does that answer your question?”

“Absolutely. You go get a shower and I’ll make dinner.”

Izzy gives me another hug before we part ways -- Izzy to her room and me to the kitchen. I get out the box of pasta, put water in a pot, add salt, and turn on the burner.

Maybe I shouldn’t have been so hard on Carter. I’ll have to apologize to him. But what am I going to do? Carter aside, I have much bigger problems at hand. Like what I’m going to do about Izzy. It’s obvious that I’m going to have to do something drastic and undesirable.

No matter what, Izzy can’t be in a homeless shelter with me. I’ve heard stories about the conditions of the one downtown, and she wouldn’t be safe there. Me staying there is one thing, but my 17 year old sister? Absolutely not happening.

There’s only one thing I can do about Izzy, the way I see it. I don’t like it, and she’s going to like it even less. But when you love someone you have to do what’s best for that person, which may not necessarily be the same thing as what she wants.

That’s why I have to call Mom tomorrow. I shudder and stir the pasta, eager to forget those thoughts. At least temporarily.

I look at my phone nervously, waiting for the response from my mother. I couldn’t face speaking to her on the phone -- I’m not ready for that yet. But I did send her an email explaining the situation this morning. I went to an interview as well.

To be honest, I’m not certain how it went. I was so nervous that I fumbled through a ton of questions. I wouldn’t hire me if I was the one doing the hiring. Even though it would be great if I could get the job at the bank. It would work easily with hosting the poker tournaments which are always in the evenings, and I would make decent money. I’d be able to have a place within the month. I’d still have to be in the shelter longer than I’d like, but beggars can’t be choosers.

My phone pings. When I pick it up, I see my mom’s email address blink across the screen. My heart speeds up as I open the email. Relief floods through me when I read her response.

At that moment the front door opens and Izzy walks in. I lick my lips. I don’t know how this conversation will go. We had a heart-to-heart last night, and she said she knew I would figure things out. But I’m sure she didn’t mean like this.

“Hey,” she mutters, glancing at me before kicking her shoes off.

“Hey. How was school?” I ask. I give her a nervous smile, causing Izzy to lift a brow.

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