“What? No. Let me finish. She’s married, but they are in the middle of a pretty nasty divorce, so it seems. What kind of man does that make me if I’m strong-arming her into something when she’s barely even available?”
“If this is the Amelia Haven I remember, no one strong-arms her into anything.”
“That’s the thing. She is the same in so many ways, but at the same time, she’s different. It’s like her fire is just a little bit dimmer.”
“Life can do that to a person, Son.”
“What if it’s too fast? After everything with Laura, I’m nervous to put myself out there like that again, and it’s not just me I have to worry about now.” I look toward my daughter.
“You’re an amazing father, Grayson. You’ll do what’s best for her and yourself, but being a little selfish sometimes isn’t a bad thing.”
“I won’t risk this one,” I motion to Cadence, “getting hurt. She’s priority number one, always. If she’s already attached, I may have already messed up.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. Navigate it with your heart. It will never steer you wrong.”
My mother. Ever the wise one.
***
(Amelia)
Running is good for the soul, or at least that’s what a quote on Pinterest says.
In reality, that’s bullshit. Whoever said that first was full of shit. Whoever made a graphic and posted it on the Internet is full of shit. They are all just full of shit.
Running makes my chest burn, my calves scream, and my soul tell me what an asshole I am for putting us through this, but even still, I press on.
Forsythe Park is unusually empty for a Sunday afternoon, but I embrace it, using the time to stick my earbuds in and let the tune of some angsty rock song take my mind away.
As much as I wanted Gray to stay with me this morning, I knew he had to leave to get Cadence. Plus maybe the distance would give me a chance to really unpack all of the baggage taking up space in my brain.
I cut through the play area and continue my jog down the paved path, which leads directly toward the large, white fountain. It’s huge and stunningly beautiful. It reminds me of something I could see in France, if I ever get there one day.
I stop just as I reach the black gate that surrounds the fountain and place my hands on it. The cool mist from the water is kissing my face and saving me from the sweltering Georgia heat. Maybe I’ll even find clarity in this mist.
“Tell me you have all the answers,” I speak out loud.
“Maybe not all the answers, but I certainly have most of them,” a strong voice behind startles me from me reprieve.
I gasp and spin to face whomever it is. “Jesus.” My hand flies to my chest. “You scared me.”
“I see that. It wasn’t my intention, I’m sorry.”
I never got the chance to look Gray’s friend, Case, in the eye the first time I saw him. Especially since I was too concerned about the fact he saw me naked and writhing on top of his best friend. But now that I see him, I will have to tell Nora he is incredibly good-looking.
“It’s okay. I guess I was just off in my own little world.” I lean back against the railing.
“I take walks after particularly hard shifts. The park is always quiet in the morning,” he admits.
“You’re a cop, right?” I ask.
“One of Savannah’s finest. Some nights are mostly entertaining, given the number of inebriated folks we have here, but others are more difficult, for various reasons.”
“I can’t imagine some of the things you’ve seen.”
“I could write a very interesting book, that’s for sure.”
He’s large and looming, very much like what I would expect from a cop, but he has a charming smile...I’m instantly comfortable with him.