Page 50 of Sparrow

I sink to the wooden seat and push off using my feet, sending the swing rocking slowly, and truly let the last few months replay in my head. They’ve been a whirlwind. Hell, they’ve been a whirlwind, hurricane, and tornado all at once.

From finally finding the strength to leave Jaxon, to catching him cheating, to moving here, to seeing Gray again, to letting him back into my heart, and finally, to realizing I’m scared. I’m scared of being with Gray, because I don’t know if I could bear being hurt by him, and because I don’t know if I could ever be without him again.

I’m scared of Jaxon. He broke me mentally, but somewhere inside, buried deep, I did care for him once. Hell, I even loved him, but I fell too fast for him. He became someone I couldn’t love, someone I couldn’t trust, and even now, I’m not sure what he’s capable of. That’s what frightens me the most. I don’t really know him like I thought I did, so I don’t know what I should be worried about. Will he come for me? Will he hurt me? I just don’t know.

I fell hard for Jaxon: too hard—too fast.

I fall hard but hurt even harder. I’ve fallen hard three times in my life.

The first, Grayson left me.

The second, Jaxon abused and hurt me.

The third, now.

My dream was a shock to my system. I’ve fallen for Grayson Aldrich again, and it scares the living shit out of me. Falling means I will hurt soon, and I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

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