Page 43 of Sparrow

I COULD GETused to this. Waking to Mills in my bed, all sex rumpled and naked, curled in my sheets with her hair splayed over my pillow, quietly snoring.

We weren’t easy on each other last night. Not by far. I think we finally stopped when neither of us could move. I took her soft, slow, hard, and fast. She rode me, I took her from behind, and she even gave me her perfect mouth.

We were making up for lost time.

When we finally settled and she curled into me to rest, I found myself scared to go to sleep. Almost as if this was all a dream, and when I woke, she wouldn’t be here. Like she’d evaporate into thin air and I’d be alone in my bed when the sun came up.

The morning glow is peeking through the windows and casting an orange sheen across her body. I take the moment of privacy to truly admire her.

She looks the same in some ways. The Mills I fell in love with when I was a teenager is still in front of me, but there are years etched into her skin. New marks on her body that weren’t there before, scars and such. I want to caress each one and listen to the story behind it. I want to hear about every aspect of her life that I’ve missed.

I want to get to know her again. Every part of her. Even the ones I know she is hiding from me. I can see the sadness and worry in her eyes sometimes. She doesn’t know I’m watching her, though. When we are together and the quiet moments seep in, I just watch her. If she’s not focused on a task at hand, her mind is elsewhere. What could she be so worried about?

Only one answer makes sense. Her husband.

I can tell by her responses when we talk about it that it didn’t end well for them, but I haven’t pressed for details. As badly as I want to know, so I can help her, it’s not my place to push. She will come to me when and if she needs me.

But if he hurt her, God help him.

“Staring is rude, you know?” she whispers with her eyes still closed.

“We’ve covered this, Mills. I’ll never stop staring at you.” I push her hair from her forehead.

“Stalker,” she says, her voice is grungy with sleep.

“And proud of it.”

She finally blinks her eyes open and the blue in her irises reminds me of sapphires. I cup her cheek. “God, you’re beautiful.”

“Thank you.” She places her hand on mine and leans into my palm.

“This feels, right, doesn’t it?” I ask, brushing my thumb across her bottom lip.

“It feels like I’m exactly where I belong.”

I wish I could stop it, but thoughts of Laura creep into my mind. I loved her. I did. She was the mother of my child, and that’s a love you can’t erase, but it was nothing like this. There was never this fire now burning deep in my heart. I feel like I’ve been struggling for air all these years.

I was suffocating when I came back from Afghanistan.

Laura gave me a puff of air. Enough to satisfy me and make me happy, but I was never able to take a full breath.

Cadence gave me life. She made me feel like I had purpose. Like I was put on this earth to be her dad.

Mills...she is my pure oxygen. Filling my lungs and making my blood sing. She is what I’ve been missing. I didn’t even know I was missing anything—until she opened that door.

I never stopped loving Amelia Haven.

***

(Amelia)

“You’re looking at me like you want to eat me, Gray,” I giggle.

He takes a breath and kisses me before he removes his hand from my cheek and rolls to his back.

“Because I do,” he says in a way that sounds like he’s out of breath.

I push up on my elbow and the sheet falls to my waist, exposing my breasts. “Are you all right?” I ask.

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