Page 28 of Sparrow

“When Cadence was born, it got worse. She was very selfish and neglectful. I think part of her was jealous of Cadence, as crazy as that sounds. Cadence became my world. Laura seemed to hate that.”

“Was she sick? I mean, did she have some kind of postpartum depression?” She crosses her arms over her chest and listens.

“That’s what her doctors kept saying, but she refused meds. The day she left, we got into a terrible fight. I told her to get out, that I was done with her. I couldn’t risk Cadence being affected by it. It’s eaten me alive ever since though.”

“You were protecting your child. There’s nothing wrong with that, Gray. Did she just leave and never come back?”

I hate admitting this out loud. It sends a chill up my spine every time I think or talk about it.

“She died shortly after she left. She, uh, she wasn’t strong enough to win her battle with depression.” I leave it at that. The ‘S’ word is just too much.

She doesn’t say a word; she just stands and comes around to my side of the booth, wrapping me in a hug. “I’m so sorry, Gray. I really am.”

I rest my chin atop her head and return the hug. “It’s all right. I’m okay. Cadence is okay. We have moved forward and won’t let the past dictate our future.”

She looks up into my eyes like I’ve just uttered a piece of pure brilliance.

“What?” I ask.

“I just really needed to hear that. More than you know.”

***

“Thank you for taking me out. I had a really great time.”

We are standing by her front door; the sounds of the seagulls and crashing tide are not so far in the distance.

“It was my pleasure. I had a great time too.”

She reaches up and places her hand to my chest. I can see the internal war she’s waging with herself, it’s the same as mine. Kiss or no kiss. Kiss or no kiss.

I decide for the both of us, leaning down, pressing a kiss to her cheek instead of her lips, and whispering in her ear, “I want to kiss you, Mills, so badly I can’t fucking stand it, but I won’t do that. I won’t push you like that.” I move away and head to the stairs, but I turn back and say, “But when I do kiss you, it will only be after you’ve begged me to.”

Her jaw hits the ground. Just the reaction I wanted.

“Have a good night, Mills. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

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