Page 97 of Broken Deal

“He droppedeverythingto be there with me. He made my momlaugh, Aria. She loved him.” I gulp, scratching my neck. This conversation makes me so uncomfortable, but I need some help. I’m desperate. “He defended my honor with Miles. He cooked and talked with my mom, they got along so well.” I sigh. “He was the perfect gentleman. And the perfect person for me to rely on. He was there, no questions asked. He’sbeenthere this whole time.”

“And how does that make you feel?” Isabella asks, crossing her legs and zeroing her green eyes on me.

“Scared,” I admit. Because even though Lorenzo has brought so much out of me, and he makes me feel strong despite all of my weaknesses, it doesn’t make it any less unsettling.

“Sophia,” Aria whispers, standing from her seat and settling next to me, grasping my hand. “You can’t feel like this forever. You can’t seriously believe every man out there is going to do the same thing Miles did to you.”

My eyes brim with tears, and I’m trying my best to hold them back, but I’m so tired of being fake around people, I finally let one fall.

It’s so much more than that. I’ve never known what true love, from a man, looks like. Everything around me is tainted. What if letting myself love him becomes another path to pain? What if he breaks my heart, too?

Who are you even kidding? Even if you walk away now,you’ll still get heartbroken, because you already fell in love with him.

I don’t want to regret him. Us. All the fun we’ve had this summer. I want to end this amicably so when I look back twenty or thirty years from now, I can remember how the most wonderful man made me feel.

“You need to open yourself to love. You’re a wonderful girl who deserves the world. And if Lorenzo is willing to give it to you, why not let him?” Aria asks softly.

“I’m a mess, guys.” There’s no turning back now, it’s time for me to be honest with my best friends. “I’m all too aware I don’t process emotions well. I’m stubborn. Annoying. Loud. But all of that is something I do to keep people at arm’s length. To make everyone believe I’m happy when I’m not. I’m far from happy.”

Isabella stands from her seat, taking the other side and grasping my other hand. “You are stubborn, yes, we won’t deny it, but you’re an amazing woman, Sophia. You’re always there for all of us. And even though you think you don’t deserve to be loved and cared for, the way you care for all of us is amazing. How long have you felt like this? Why didn’t you come to us? We are your best friends. We’re here for you, through thick and thin.”

“I’ve always felt like this,” I confess, and when I look at Aria, her shoulders are deflated, her eyes welling with emotion. The look on her face guts me. “But I’ve always been good at masking. I didn’t—don’t—want to depend on people. Emotions are…a weakness for me.”

Aria lets out a long sigh, taking a moment before replying. “Emotions don’t make you weak. I’m sorry I never noticed. God, I feel like the shittiest friend.”

I sniff, shaking my head. “God, no. You had your own problems, Aria. You’re not a shitty friend. I just wanted toopen up. If anyone deserves my honesty for once, it’s you, guys.”

“What about Lorenzo? Don’t you think he deserves to know how you feel about him?” Isabella asks, ever the voice of reason.

Her question makes me question every moment between us. All our time in Panamá, where after he kept his promise and made me feel good, I disappeared on him like a coward, and instead of making me feel like shit about it, he sought me out to give me the experience of a lifetime. Because that’s Lorenzo Mancini for you—thoughtful, kind, and selfless. He saw how lost I felt, and with his actions, he showed me how much he cared, and how much he was willing to help me.

He absolutely deserves to know how I feel about him, I just need to figure out how I will be brave enough to tell him.

“Where the hell have you been?” Ivy asks as a way of greeting me as soon as I step into Vortex’s main bar on the first floor, where she typically works as a bartender.

“Well, hello to you, too.” I smirk, taking a seat at the bar.

Without a word, she grabs a glass of whiskey, but before she pours it, I say, “No. Just water, please.”

Her eyes bulge, but she doesn’t say anything and serves me a cup of water instead. Ever since I’ve been hanging around Sophia, the craving to drink my usual whiskey has been less and less. The thought is unsettling. I’m self-aware and know the only reason I used to drink so much was because I wanted to numb those crawly feelings that would eat me alive. Sophia, though, has given me more than enough reasons to be in the moment and…feel.

Yup. There’s no denying anymore that what I feel for Sophia is more than a simple attraction. I’m way over my head, and I need help. My mind is a mumbling mess about this whole situation, so I have no other option than to talk to the people who know me best. And despite them loving tofuck with me, I know they can tread this situation carefully and help me figure out what the hell is happening to me.

“Hello, sweetheart,” Matteo says to Ivy as he takes a seat next to me. He’s such a shameless flirt, you’d never guess he’s pining for a certain ray of—not—sunshine.

“Well, hello there. Aren’t you all smiles today?” Ivy raises an eyebrow.

He shrugs. “You know me.”

Damian grunts, taking the other seat next to me. “I don’t know how you always manage to be shitting rainbows and rays of sunshine. You exhaust me.”

Ivy rolls her lips, holding back a laugh. “Always lovely to see you, Damian.”

He nods without saying a word. Most people think Damian hates everyone, but the guy can be decent when he wants to.

I silently take in their exchange, until Damian’s eyes find mine. “You’ve been so cryptic about why you wanted to meet with us. What the hell is wrong? Are you in trouble?” he asks gruffly.

Matteo tilts his head, squinting his eyes at me as well. “You look different.”

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