Page 46 of Broken Deal

“Areyouhappy?” I ask.

She grazes her bottom lip with her teeth, contemplating. “I’m trying to be.”

In this moment, I make a vow to myself to do whatever it takes to make her happy this summer—completely and utterly. But I also make a promise to myself. To chase happiness, even though deep down, I doubt I’ll ever find it. It’s not as easy as walking away from everything and starting fresh. The guilt would eat me alive. Like I still owe my father something, even if I’m not sure exactly what.

“Have you ever been in love?” she asks softly, throwing me out of the loop.

“No,” I reply honestly. “I’ve never witnessed what love is like, so I’ve never given it a chance, and I don’t think I ever will.”

While I never knew my mom, I saw the cause and effect of loving someone so deeply to the point of ruin. Loveruinedmy father. I didn’t have to witness it when he lost his wife to know he grew cold and distant. To know he depended on alcohol to numb the pain a little and focused all his energy on business. He was grasping for something to keep him above board. If that’s what heartbreak does to you, then what’s the point?

I look up. “You?”

She sighs, contemplating. “I thought I was, but the more I think about it…” She crosses her legs, and I mirror her, our bodies naturally moving closer. “No. I don’t think I’ve ever been in love. I’ve just been heartbroken by people because the need for validation was so strong, I overlooked a lot of things.” She shakes her head. “I don’t think love is for people like me.”

A dull pain settles in my chest at the tone of her voice. While I understand where she’s coming from, there’s no wayin hell a wonderful woman like her won’t find love. If anyone deserves it, it’s her. Truly. Whoever sweeps her off her feet will be one lucky son of a bitch.

I shake my head. “You’re wrong. You just haven’t found your person, but you will.”

A sharp, bitter laugh slips from her lips. “That used to be my dream, you know? Find my person, build a family. Live in a house with a white picket fence, hosting Sunday dinners with friends and family. Have my mom living closer to me.” She lets out a long, wistful sigh. “But I’ve grown used to being alone. I’ve always had to take care of myself, and I don’t think I could let anyone else do it for me. The whole idea feels...strange.”

I interlace my fingers with hers, ignoring the burning sensation that travels from my fingertips to the rest of my body. Ignoring the charged electricity that happens between us every time we’re near each other. “You deserve to be looked after. Loved. Worshipped. Cherished. Promise me to never stop looking for it.”

She avoids my gaze and remains quiet.

Not good enough.

It’s my turn to grip her chin tightly now, forcing her to look at me. “Promiseme, Blue.”

“Fine.” She rolls her eyes. “God, this game sure took a turn.”

I let out a short, sharp laugh. “We sure know how to live it up.”

“I have another question for you.” She bites her bottom lip, and it’s so damn sexy I have to fight the urge to run my thumb over it. “Do you ever think about that night?” she asks barely above whisper. I almost missed it.

The air between us changes to something so thrilling and dangerous, I can almost taste it.

My voice drops an octave. “Not a day has passed where I don’t think about what happened between us.”

Her lips part softly, as if she wasn’t expecting that answer.

Taking a bold chance, I allow myself to run my thumb across her bottom lip, just like I was dying to moments ago, and it’s so smooth. I would love nothing more than to swipe my tongue instead before owning her fucking mouth.

“I think about these pouty lips of yours,” I murmur, my hand sliding down to the column of her neck. “I think about kissing and biting this pretty neck.” Slowly, my fingers trace her collarbone. “I think about kissing you right here, too,” I say softly, my voice dropping as I follow the line with my touch. “I think about your moans and how perfect you felt coming around my cock and how much I’m dying to get another taste of you because once was simply not enough,” I finish gruffly.

Her pupils dilate, her face flushing and chest heaving. All my blood rushes to my cock at the sight of her, and fuck, I meant it all. I need another taste. That would be the logical thing to do to get her out of my fucking system. We both can keep denying the attraction all we want, but we both know it’s there. In every interaction, every retort, and every bantering moment.

“Then why don’t you?”

Oh. My. Fuck.

Ican’t believe those words came out of my mouth. But with the way he’s looking at me, his eyes roaming every inch of my body with so much hunger, and the way his hand feels against my skin, I’m ready to throw it all out of the window for one more night.

“Blue…” He lets out a pained groan. “Choose your next words carefully, otherwise?—”

I interrupt him. “Kiss me.”

His eyes land on my parted lips, and he licks his own in anticipation. Contemplating. Wondering if I mean it. I must be losing my mind, but the need rooted deep in my bones is impossible to ignore.

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