Page 81 of Off Limits

He chuckled. “You were very convincing. But it wasn’t just that you scared the piss out of him that I thought was so awesome. It was how you stood up for yourself and refused to let anyone put you down or treat you like crap. Not a lot of people can do that.”

“Want to know a secret?”

He nodded.

“You might have envied me for sticking up for myself and not compromising for friendships or whatever, but I envied you.”

“Seriously?”

I pinned him with a flat look. “Yes, seriously. Do you need me to wax poetic about all your positive attributes, or are you done fishing for compliments?”

“I think I need some poetic waxing if you’re gonna offer it.” He made a “go on” motion with his hand. “Let’s hear it.”

I rolled my eyes theatrically. “You were a superstar athlete, a straight-A student, and you’re good with people. But beyond that, you always had a million friends, and everyone wanted to be around you. And you’ve always been the favorite.” I toyed with my tongue stud. “I know it wasn’t all sunshine and roses for you, and all that had its own issues, but you didn’t have to do everything alone. You had people to talk to, to hang out with. I had my books and my stories. I like being alone, but I hate that it wasn’t a choice and I was always alone because no one wanted to be around me.”

“Guess neither of us had it all that great.” He gave me a tight smile.

“Guess not.”

Silence descended on us.

“What else is bothering you?” I asked. “Feel free to tell me to fuck off or whatever, but I can see there’s something else going on in that head of yours.”

He chewed on the corner of his lips. “Do you think you might want to cam with me again?”

I clamped my jaw shut so it didn’t drop open in shock.

I’d spent the last few weeks trying to find the balls to ask him if he wanted to cam again, but I hadn’t been able to get the words out. Not even when he told me I didn’t have to leave the apartment during his shows if I didn’t want to.

Being home while he worked made things easier because I didn’t have to find places to hang out and kill time twice a week, but it was wreaking havoc on my resolve to only think of him as a roommate and friend.

So far I’d managed to not watch his shows, but the same couldn’t be said for picturing them. The walls in his apartmentwere paper thin, and I’d never tell him this, but I’d jerked off more than once while listening to him come for his viewers.

“You want to cam together again?” I asked, finally finding my voice.

“Yeah, I mean, if you want to.” He smiled, but I could see that he was nervous under it. “The money is way better when it’s the two of us, and it was fun.”

“Yeah, it was. And it’s not like all my money issues are suddenly gone,” I said, trying to keep my voice casual. “I could definitely use the cash.”

That wasn’t a lie. The money we’d made had put a dent in my debt, but it wasn’t paid off. And I still didn’t have any savings. The money would definitely help, but that wasn’t the reason I was so eager to say yes.

“Do you think you might want to do it regularly?” He pulled his ball cap off and spun it around in his hand a few times. “Follow a schedule so we can get more visibility and hopefully make even more?”

“Um, yeah. That sounds good,” I stammered like a moron. “What were you thinking?”

“Maybe stick to Friday shows and see how things go after doing it a few weeks in a row?”

“Yeah. Sure.” I toyed with my tongue stud and ignored the little voice in my head that was screaming at me that this was a bad idea and would not help me in my quest to stop obsessing over Dex. “We can try that. Did you want to start this week?”

“Might as well. I’ll tell my viewers about it tomorrow. That should hopefully drum up some excitement.”

“Hopefully.” I chewed on my lip, not sure if this was the right time to bring this up. I didn’t want to fuck things up between us, but I also needed to be transparent with him. “Remember how I said I’d probably only be here for a few weeks—a month, tops?”

He nodded.

“That might have been overly optimistic. The apartment hunting isn’t going nearly as well as I’d hoped.”

“Not finding anything?”

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