Page 58 of Off Limits

I did the same, making sure to keep my expression neutral as he said goodbye to various viewers.

I’d just had the most incredible sex I could have imagined, but the part that was really messing with me was how much I wanted to do it again without the audience.

That was dangerous. Sex on cam was one thing, but hooking up with him off cam was the quickest way to blur the lines between business and a bad idea.

Dex was my stepbrother. We shared siblings, and we’d have to see each other at family things for the rest of our lives. That meant that anything beyond camming was off limits.

Just like he should have stayed off limits after that night four years ago.

14

ASA

Five days had passedsince Dex and I cammed together, and I was no closer to figuring out what the hell was going on with me than I’d been that night.

That was one downside of not having people I could talk to about stuff. I got in my head and usually ended up driving myself crazy by either thinking in circles or letting myself get carried away and going off on insane tangents and connecting dots that weren’t even there.

The only friends I had were the guys at work, and this wasn’t something I could talk to any of them about. How was I supposed to casually bring up that I’d had sex with my stepbrother on camera for money? That wasn’t exactly something you could drop at the break table or when we were at the bar.

Plus, as far as they knew, I hated Dex.

Something in my gut churned. Even thinking that felt wrong. I didn’t hate Dex, and looking back, I never actually did. I hated that I had to have a stepbrother at all, and I hated how our parents got together, but none of that was his fault. I dislikedhim because he was everything I wasn’t, and I really enjoyed antagonizing him, but I never truly hated him back then.

And I didn’t hate him now.

In fact, I kinda liked him, but I wasn’t sure if that was because of our circumstances or because ofhim. And I didn’t even know if what I felt really was like, or if I’d imprinted on him or something because we’d fucked.

Every other guy I’d attempted to hook up with meant nothing to me. I basically used them to figure out what I was into or if I even enjoyed sex, the same as they’d used me to get off.

In all the years I’d noticed men, I’d never once felt any sort of romantic attraction to anyone. Hell, I’d barely felt any sort of actual attraction to anyone beyond appreciating their looks.

Dex was literally the only exception, and now that I knew how incredible sex with him could be, I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

It wouldn’t be so bad if it was just the sex I was obsessed with. Nope, It was how he seemed to be able to read me and anticipate what I needed. How he could make the noise in my head shut up with a simple touch or a gentle word.

How he looked at me like I was the only person in the world and he wanted nothing more than to be there in that moment with me, and how he seemed to enjoy my touch as much as I enjoyed his.

But was all that real, or was it just because we’d been on cam? Was he like this with all his partners? Or was that how most people were when they had sex?

Dex was the only guy I’d slept with, so I had no idea what was considered normal when it came to sex or hooking up. And it wasn’t like I could ask him if that was typical or if it had been better than usual.

At least things around the apartment weren’t awkward. Dex was still leaving food for me in the fridge, and we didn’t avoideach other when we were both home like before, but it wasn’t like we were hanging out or having long talks. We were acting like roommates, and I had no clue if I was the only one obsessing over any of this, which only made me spiral harder.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Heaving another sigh, I tilted my phone toward me and checked my notifications.

“Fucking perfect,” I muttered when I saw the text from my mother. Of course she’d text now when I was in a mood and feeling like I was spinning out of control.

I was tempted to just ignore it, but knowing her, she’d just text again in a few minutes, then call if I still didn’t answer since she knew I was off work. Might as well get it over with.

Mom: I need you to babysit this weekend.

Asa: when?

Mom: Saturday

Mom: Steven and I are going to a wedding

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