Page 70 of Intercept My Heart

“No. No! I want to see her! Y’all are not hearing me. You keep telling me that she’s dead, but it’s not true! It’s not true! Get the fuck off me!” A pair of hands gripped my arms, and I immediately began fighting him off.

“Call the police!”

“No, please don’t. He lost his child, for Christ’s sake. Can’t you give him a sedative to calm him down or something? Sending him to jail after the hell he’s already been through is cruel.”

“He’s being disruptive.”

“Wouldn’t you be the same way? Come on, have a heart, please. We’ve already lost our grandbaby. Our family has been through enough.”

“Dinero! Dinero! What the hell are you doing in here?” Harper’s screeching voice jolted me from my memory. Although I hated the sound of her nagging voice, I appreciated the distraction. The flashbacks from that dark time in my life still haunted me.

“What are you doing in here? I’ve been calling your name for the last ten minutes. I saw your car parked in the driveway, but you were nowhere to be found.”

“Where have you been?” I questioned. She told me she had an appointment with her brow and lash tech, but her brows looked as bald as they normally did. The scent of alcohol was strong, which meant she had already started drinking.

“Oh, umm. Latasha canceled on me at the last minute, so I booked a massage instead.” Harper always elevated her tone whenever she lied, and from the way she acted, I could tell something was off. I chalked it up to grief because I was sure she was feeling it as much as I was.

“Are you okay? You never come in this room.” The room she was referring to was my princess’s room. I normally made it a point to stay away from this room, but I wanted to be close to her today. I was shocked when I realized her things had been cleaned out. Outside of her bed and a few photos, all her toys were gone.

“Yeah. I wanted to sit and talk with my baby girl. When were you gonna tell me that you moved her things?” Harper normally told me about things she wanted to change around the house, but she never ran this by me. I believed a part of that was due to the fact that she knew how I would react.

“Umm, I figured it was time. My mom thought it would be a good idea to donate all of her toys to Toys for Tots. Most of them were barely played with, so at least some child out there will be able to enjoy them.”

“I get all of that, but you never mentioned it to me. Why is that?” Much like Sunny, I could pinpoint all of Harper’s signals when she was happy, sad, lying, or turned on. There was a clear indication that she was lying about something, and I wanted to understand what it was.

“You’re always so busy with your football stuff, so I figured I could take care of this on my own. No sense in both of us having to deal with it.” Her answer did nothing to settle the feeling in the pit of my stomach.

“I went to her gravesite this morning. When is the last time you’ve been there?”

“What is with all of these questions? Why are we even talking about this?”

“Do you know what today is?” I asked, staring her down. I was making her uncomfortable, and I could tell.

“It’s Thursday. Why? Are we scheduled for some type of event or something?” I chuckled, although nothing was funny about the situation. I’d given Harper so many passes because everyone grieved differently, but I found it odd that she could forget a date like this. Not only did we lose our child, but she also almost lost her own life. Most people could feel when they were approaching a specific anniversary of a traumatic event.

“Are you serious right now? You really don’t know what today is?” I pressed, thinking she had to be joking. However, the blank expression on her face told me otherwise.

“I don’t like playing the guessing game. If I missed something that’s important to you, then tell me. You’re not usually this difficult.”

“It isn’t about me. This day should mean something to you too.” I stared at her in disbelief. How could she forget something so important?

“It’s the anniversary of Milani’s death.”

“Oh.”

“Oh? Is that the best you could come up with? What the hell is wrong with you?” She flinched when I stood up, and it pissed me off even more. I needed to get out of here before I really exploded.

“Where are you going, Money? Come back here so we can talk.” Harper gripped my arm, and I jerked out of her hold before turning to face her.

“You know, I’ve tried to give you the benefit of the doubt for years because you seemed so detached from her death. I put up with your mood swings and drunk antics. I thought maybe it was due to the grief of losing our little girl, but I’m starting to think I was wrong. What mother could forget the worst day of their life? You’re always nagging about how I don’t show you affection or I’m emotionally unavailable, but you don’t even shed tears for the little girl who came from your womb. What kind of sense does that make?” The blank look on her face told me this conversation was a waste of my time.

“Dinero, this isn’t fair. I forgot. It was an oversight on my part, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care. I can’t help that I don’t grieve the way you do. You loved her, but sometimes I wonder if you would have grieved me the same way. It sounds ridiculous to think that way, but it feels like you wish it were me instead of her. I think about her all of the time, but I choose to keep my grief to myself because I feel guilty. I wish I could have died instead because maybe then I wouldn’t have to look at you on days like this and be reminded that you loved her more than you’ll ever love me.”

“You’re right. I blame you for her not being here. It isn’t right, but it’s the truth. I blame myself too. She wanted me to take her, but I was too busy. I’ll carry that guilt for the rest of my life. However, it’s no excuse for you to go around acting as if she never existed. You never talk about her, and you’ve gotten rid of all of her things. You’re so worried about who I love more that you can’t even grieve her the way you need to. I don’t even know what to say to that.” I walked away before I said something that I wouldn’t be able to take back.

“Money! Money, please don’t leave. We need to talk about this!”

“Why don’t you focus less on me and more on Milani? I’m sure she would appreciate it if you used this day to acknowledge her for once.” I slammed the door behind me as I got into my truck. I had no destination in mind, but I needed to be somewhere that brought me peace.

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