Page 38 of Choke

You Even Purr

Lex

Last Week

Do not show him fear.

The voice in my head is anything but strong. The voice in my head is a terrified 14-year-old, too insecure to defend herself. Too broken down by the harsh words and actions of the one person who should have protected her.

Do not break eye contact.

I stare up at Adrian. His dark eyes lock on mine, and his enormous hand is wrapped tightly around my throat. My heart rate slows from the lack of oxygen, and my fingertips tingle. Blinking feels like a chore, a mindless action I suddenly can’t afford. My body is starved—the cold, hard wall presses into my shoulder blades. The bite of it is nothing compared to the roughness of his hands.

His eyes roam over me, from my eyes to my lips to my still chest.

Who will find me?

Will it be someone here tonight?

Will I rot here until the smell alerts a venue staff member to something awry?

Who will take Millie?

My thoughts fire in rapid succession.

He steps forward, pressing his body into mine, and — oh Jesus, is he hard?

My lips part slightly at the feeling of him—the hardness pressing into my stomach, his knee lodged between my legs, sending a sharp jolt of pleasure through my body.

“God,” his voice is so low that it barely rises above a whisper. “I love the way you choke.”

My knees go weak, and before I have a chance to accept that if there is a hell, I am going to it because I am sure those words ignite the darkest desire in me. His hand loosens, and I suck in a ragged breath; my head spins; stars explode behind my eyes—it feels like I’m high, but I don’t do drugs. His hand moves slightly around my neck, pulling me toward him, and our mouths collide.

I am still gasping for air as his tongue invades my mouth.

He completely overwhelms me. Every part of me tingles, coming back to life as oxygen flows through my veins.

I taste the whiskey on his tongue.

Smell his cologne and something smokey.

His hands -god, his hands.They consume me. The one on my neck holds firm. Even if I wanted to pull back, there’s no chance I could. His other hand pushes up my body and squeezes my nipple so hard that the moan I was holding back rushes out.

No. No. No. What are you doing?!

My logical, self-preserving brain is screaming at me.

But the heat building in my core fires back, ‘shut up.’

I grind into his knee, and it feels so good. Too good. My hands land on his lower abdomen, pushing under his shirt to meet the hard edges of muscle. The groan I let out sounds foreign. He’s so big. When he pulls back, the absence of his mouth on mine feels like a slap. It leaves an ache, a void. I try to pull him back to me, desperate for the warmth of his touch, but he lets out a cruel laugh.

“So needy, Lex.”

My eyes fly open and meet his. They look black and possessive. He twists his mouth into a cruel smile. His chest heaves in a way that matches mine. The sounds of the event fade into nothing. I hold his stare, unmoving and unblinking. He runs his fingers down the side of my face, and instinctively, I flinch away from his touch. His smile vanishes. His hand moves too fast to track, his fingers finding the button of my pants.

“Look at you. You’re so defiant.” His hands work while he speaks. “Desperate to hold your ground even while your body betrays you. While you grind into me like a cat in heat.”

My hips move without my permission.Stop it, hips.

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