Page 17 of Choke

Not after I spent years looking for her in random bars, in cities that I knew she wasn’t in. I step in front of her to block her path. Her eyes slowly rise to meet mine; she’s half-dressed, her cheeks are pink, those pouty fucking lips are swollen, and I can’t help the storm building in my chest, knowing she looks well-fucked because of my teammate. I strive to smile, but the result must be intimidating.

We hold eye contact.

My chest rises and falls in an uneven, chaotic rhythm.

“Leaving already?” I ask. “Looks like you two were just getting acquainted. Don’t leave on our account.”

I press my hand to her shoulder, firm enough that she flinches, then freezes, looking like a deer in headlights. The reaction hits me somewhere deep, but I ignore it.

Instead, I push.

It’s not hard—just enough to send her off balance. Just enough to put her back where I want her. She falls into the booth.

Her expression shifts; her eyes narrow, and she looks ready for a fight.

“I need to use the ladies’ room and find my friend. Excuse me.”

She pushes forward, forcing me to shift out of her way. If I didn’t, Alice would notice, and that’s the last thing I need. Her shoulder slams into mine as she passes, a silent fuck-you wrapped in motion. I look back to Nate. His expression is somewhere between frustrated and confused.

I wrap a hand around Alice’s waist and lean into her ear, “Can you grab us a couple of drinks, Ali?” I ask, slipping my wallet into her hand.

Her attention is elsewhere, but she turns to me, smiles, and nods. She walks off toward the bar. Granting me the opportunity to speak openly with Nate. I turn back to face him, letting my mask of indifference slip so he can see how ready to explode I am.

“What, and I cannot stress this enough, the actual fuck, man?”

“What? What’s the problem?” He responds.

Fuck, he is dense.

“Her!?” I bark. “You picked her?”

Breathe.

Inhaling deeply, I urge my heart to slow down.

His head swivels from me to the direction she walked and back. Nate wasn’t on the team five years ago; he joined at the start of this season. He wasn’t around during the years when the team was constantly on my case about her. Only Ronan, Cally, and I have remained since the early days. Even still, he was there at the restaurant. He commented on tattooed chicks being hot.

Before we can say more, Alice returns with drinks. I press a light kiss to her temple in thanks, and she returns to people-watching. Nate’s attention turns away from me and over my shoulder, excitement in his expression. He scoots out of the booth and gestures for Alice to sit. She grabs my hand and slides in; I don’t want to follow. I want to stop him from leaving, but that isn’t possible without bringing attention to the situation, and I need Alice to stay in her blissful ignorance.

“I’ll be right back,” He says, not focusing on either of us.

I pull my hat off and scrub my hand down my face. Alice catches the movement and turns to me.

“You okay?”

“Great,” I reply, keeping my tone even. “Not really in the mood to be here tonight. Or to play babysitter while my teammates try to fuck in front of an audience.”

She leans into me. The movement is so familiar, but tonight feels so wrong, foreign.

Get away from me.

My gaze locks on Lex as she moves toward the dance floor, with Nate following closely behind.

I can’t stay put any longer.

“Do you wanna dance?”

Her eyes light up. I never ask her to dance. I almost feel bad—I don’t want to dance. I want to keep my eyes on her. Lex. Alice practically jumps out of the booth and quickly races for the dance floor. I slowly follow, drinking the rest of my beer and dropping the glass on a table as I pass.

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