Page 19 of Smarty Plants
Ben: Fair enough. Have a good day. I’ll be here ordering supplies from my fancy office with the fancy tree.
Have a good one!
I start skimming today’s work, making a quick list. I can’t help smiling to myself. Ben is the polar opposite of a bad boy. He’s steady, kind and attentive.
So why do you feel nervous?
Looking across the huge room, I duck slightly to peer through the plant-filled shelves and see Violet texting while grinning to herself, which means she’s talking to Jack. On the other side Jasmine is alternating between writing notes and texting while giggling. Clearly,she’schatting with Alex.
Is that what’s bothering me – that it’s just a little too convenient that I should find a boyfriend right after my sisters do, along with a corporate account?
Turning back to my coffee, I stare down into the mug as if it has all the answers. It’s been well documented that when people hook up during a stressful time, it makes them both seem more interesting than they actually are.
Admittedly, usually, those studies are referring to things like natural disasters, not an extremely busy week, including a business makeover, and the largest plant order I’ve ever coordinated myself.
It’s just… There’s still so much Ben doesn’t know about me. Like how I blank out when I get stressed. How I blush when I’m embarrassed or overwhelmed. How I need a lot of quiet time to recalibrate from stress.
Maybethat’swhat’s making me feel antsy. My “quiet time” over the past few days has been spent in Ben’s arms. Which has been amazing, but it’s more energizing than recharging. There’s a difference.
Oh! Maybe that’s it! My energy has been ramped up and up and up, and hasn’t had a chance to settle.
And the really big question: what’s going to happen when Ben realizes I pretend to be tougher and more put together than I really am?
As my hands automatically skim across the keys of my laptop, calling up documents and arranging windows, I feel amillion miles away. Well, no. Just half a mile away, in Ben’s arms.
I already crave his touch more than I crave coffee. Is that weird? I’ve been slightly addicted to caffeine for at least eight years, but I don’t dream about it the way I’m dreaming about Ben right now. Wishing he would come up behind me and nuzzle my neck. Wishing we could spend lunch together. Wishing I knew when we would next…
Is it possible to get addicted to sex so quickly?
I’m overwhelmed. Don’t get me wrong, all these new feelings and emotions are incredible, but they’re a lot to take in.
I feel like Ben is already dreaming of forever, and I’m still trying to process all that has happened this week.
I’m in over my head.
Not drowning – I just have so much mental baggage on my little life raft that I don’t know if I can paddle to shore.
12
BEN
I’m still figuring out my new girlfriend’s communication style. In person, we chat about everything. It’s perfect. Physically, we communicate very well too – there’s a fire ignited every time we flash each other a certain look and begin touching.
Texting, however, seems a bit…spotty. When we were organizing my company makeover – or should I say, when Iris was – she would text all the time to confirm every detail with me.
But now that we’re discussing what to do this weekend, she seems distant.
I’ve never been a multitasker. I complete one section of a project, then move on to the next. Usually, my only interruptions are for water, coffee, or grabbing more materials.
These days I’ve been checking my phone frequently, eager to respond to any text I receive. On my way back from a job site, I pause at a stop sign to glance at my phone. There’s a text from Toby, saying that his project will be finished within the hour, and another from Ashley, letting me know her team is on schedule to wrap up next week.
My foot almost presses on the gas to continue, then I freeze. Maybe that’s what Iris needs. Confirmation that we’re real. She’s just spent a ton of time and energy on my life and business. Could she be wondering if this is a temporary thing?
She’s also quite sensitive. New to being part of a couple. Knowing her, I can pretty much guarantee that she’s all up in her head about it, analyzing every detail, looking for flaws.
I’ve never come out and actually told her how I feel about her, that I want to plan a real future together. She is definitely a worrier, so she’s likely…well, worrying.
My wheels spin to the right, cutting through a parking lot to turn toward Palmer’s Potted Plants. Thankfully, there’s a parking spot directly in front, and as soon as I walk in, it’s obvious who is behind the counter.
