Page 103 of Break The Ice

I look between them, becoming more and more alarmed. “What’s going on?”

Raider turns so he’s facing me across the table. “Ryann, we want you to stay more than anything.”

“But?” I prompt.

“But there’s a part of me that isn’t sure we can beat this guy. So I want to put it on the table that, if you want, if you’d feel safer, I can find a way to get you unseen and send you to Kelly.”

I stare at him. My mind goes blank before pain rips through me.

“You want me to leave?”

“No!” Raider shouts. “No! Never! I want to give you a choice.”

I’m lost, feeling cold and more alone than ever.

“Fuck!” Raider hisses and gets up so fast his chair hits the floor. He comes around the table and grabs a hold of my t-shirt, pulling me up and against his chest.

“I want you to never be apart from me again!”

I stare up at him. “Why do you want to send me away?”

I feel like a sixteen-year-old again, listening to my uncle try to explain why I should leave. The conversation echoes with this one.

He can’t protect me.

No one can protect me from a ghost.

“I can’t run anymore. I don’t want to be alone. If I continue another day like this, I’ll become as much of a ghost as he is,” I whisper. “But if you guys want out, I’ll go.”

Raider makes a pained sound and mashes our lips together. I end up clinging to him because he’s the only thing that feels real right now. The only hope I have in a sea of isolation and disappointment.

He pulls back and stares at me. Blue-green eyes with such intensity, so much feeling, and I can see my future.

I know what I want.

“I’m not leaving.”

Raider nods.

I turn my head to look at the others. “I’m not leaving. I’m not running. Don’t send me away. I won’t survive it.”

Kit gets up and rounds the table, wrapping his arms around me from behind. “Okay, we promise. We won’t send you away.”

“Let’s just go back to bed,” Callan suggests.

“I don’t think I’m going to be able to sleep here,” Wren confesses.

Raider lets go of me and stalks to the front door. To my surprise, he starts shoving furniture up against it.

“No, wait!” I say and stop, embarrassed at my old fear.

Raider looks at me. “I give you permission to break any and all windows to get out, but I’m sick of that damn asshole getting in so easy. If this helps us sleep for one night, I’ll take it. Plus, the house is equipped with top of the line smoke alarms.”

I hesitate and nod sharply. “Okay.”

Raider goes to the back door and looks around. He ends up dragging out several hockey sticks and wedging them behind the door.

He turns and looks at us. “Let's go to bed.”

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