Page 72 of Love on Ice

“And what happens if he doesn’t?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never been in this position before. The same thing happened to Camryn. Her ex wouldn’t let her go and then he attacked her. I don’t want to be fucked up like her,” I say, looking up at him with desperation.

“I won’t let anything happen to you,” he says, pulling me into his arms as he kisses my temple.

“Nate thought the same, he was wrong.”

“How has my life turned into this? I told Felix last night I was worried that Josh would become a Harris,” I tearily tell Kimberly.

“Hey, hey,” she says, coming over and sitting beside me.

“I’m sick of crying. I never cry. I’m a fucking strong ass independent woman. This piece of shit man has turned me into a shell of the woman I used to be. He doesn’t deserve to have that much power over me.”

Kimberly holds me tightly. “Maybe you need to talk to someone. I think the shit that Josh is doing is triggering trauma you experienced while dealing with what happened to Camryn. I never told any of you, but I went to therapy to deal with what happened. I lost my faith in men. It’s why I haven’t been dating. Also, I don’t have time.”

“You should have told me.”

“Like you, I didn’t want to lump my shit on to you guys. Camryn ran off to Australia and Issy just lost her father. You were being the support net for them, you didn’t need to add my shit to it,” Kimberly says.

“I’m sorry for being a shit friend,” I tell her, cuddling her tightly.

“You haven’t been a shit friend. I think we haven’t realized how much of what happened to Camryn might have affected us until situations pop up and you’re confronted by them.” She’s right. “Look, I think you should lean on Felix. He is offering you support, even if it’s just to have a male presence in your home to take the edge off your fear. Josh is a spoilt brat, he’s nothing like Harris. He’s a bully, used to getting things his own way. He doesn’t like others playing with his toys. He doesn’t want them, but he doesn’t want others to have them either. Someone else will come along and capture his attention and then he will leave you alone.” Maybe she’s right. “Date Felix. He’s a good guy. He’s the perfect rebound. Stop overthinking it. Enjoy the summer. You living your best life is going to push Josh to move on.”

“You’re right.”

“I am?” Kimberly seems surprised that I agree with her. “Good. You’d be stupid not to enjoy that hot, younger guy. You think he can introduce me to some of his friends?” She giggles.

“Hey, I got you a water,”Felix says, handing me the bottle as I sunbathe beside the pool. Kimberly has fallen asleep on the lounger beside me.

“Thanks. How was your run?”

“Smoked them.” He grins as he unscrews the cap and chugs the bottle of water down. Damn it, how does he make drinking water sexy. “How’s the hangover?”

“Nearly gone, had a shot of tequila earlier, hair of the dog and all,” I joke. “Hey, did you want to go for a walk along the beach?”

Felix stares at me in stunned silence for a moment as if he can’t believe I’ve asked him. “Sure, what about Kim?”

“Sam and Nate are walking over, they will hang with her,” I answer, grabbing my sarong and tying it around my waist. “I’m going for a walk with Felix, can you look after Kim?” I ask the boys. My brother rolls his eyes, and Nate gives me a nod as we head off to the beach. We walk in silence most of the way until Felix can’t take it anymore.

“Okay, what’s going on? This is freaking me out,” he asks as we continue to walk.

I suck in a deep breath. “Last night and then this morning made me reevaluate things.”

“Okay …”

“I never told you about Camryn and Nate’s story because it’s not really my story to tell, but it wasn’t until Kimmy pointed it out this morning that I might be harboring some PTSD from it.” Felix doesn’t say anything but he’s listening intently. “Without going into too much detail, Camryn’s ex was engaged to someone else behind her back. When she found out about it, she dumped him. He became obsessed with her, and thingsescalated to a super dark place, where he drugged Nate and assaulted Camryn.”

“Shit,” Felix curses.

“That’s the CliffsNotes version. Camryn ran away to Australia to deal with it as it brought up some other traumas, and Nate had to seek therapy for what happened to him. I guess, when Josh started acting like Harris, he triggered something in me. Do I think Josh is as crazy as Harris?No.But is he scaring me?Yes.” I reach out and link our hands together as we continue to walk along the beach. “I know I’ve been acting like a completely different person to who you met in Paradise, this is why. I got back and went into panic mode.”

He squeezes my hand. “I get it.” He brings our hands to his lips and gives my hand a kiss. Damn it. Why is he so cute? “Thanks for letting me know.”

“There’s more.” His brows raise high in surprise. “I’m all in on the plan for us to pretend we're dating. It’s the only way I can make sure Josh gets the hint. If the offer still stands for you to live with me for the summer, that would be great. I’m going crazy in that big home by myself. I’m not sleeping because every sound makes me jump.”

Felix stops walking and stares at me. “You’re asking me to move in with you?”

“Yes.”

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