Jesus, beds! When everything happened, they were so tiny, just starting to sit up on their own.
The people who invaded our home stole months of precious time with my children from me, time I’ll never get back.
I walk over to check if they’re covered properly, and after kissing each of them, I sit down in the rocking chair to think. I know I won’t be able to sleep anytime soon, even though I feel utterly exhausted.
I’ve barely been on my feet today, yet it feels like I’ve run a marathon.
I’m tired and scared too—of both the past and the future.
Who was the father of my children? I have no idea, but now I’m certain he had enemies. No one breaks into a home in the middle of the night, armed, without intending to kill.
And who goes around killing people randomly?
No, I agree with the detective. It wasn’t a random crime. There’s much more to this than what we’ve discovered so far. The detective refused to give us any clues about the status of the investigation, so I’ll wait for Zeus to dig for answers on his own. Maybe then we can unravel this mystery. I need to know, or I’ll never find peace. I’ll never truly believe my children are safe.
I’m not the type to dwell on regrets about the past. There’s no point in being stuck in the “what-ifs” of life. But ever since I woke up from the coma, I’ve repeatedly wondered what would’ve happened if I’d left the moment I realized my relationship with Moses was an illusion.
I’ll never know for sure, but I think I would’ve started over with the kids on my own. If I’d been braver, I could’ve spared them the pain of enduring months without me.
I sigh and get up. After kissing them again, I slowly make my way to my bedroom. I need to rest. They’ll certainly want to play tomorrow. They’re too young to understand that I’m still recovering.
I change into my pajamas and lie down on the bed, staring at the ceiling, reflecting on today—from leaving the hospital to what happened in the car, and then dinner with my new extended family.
I wish Athanasios had stayed. As foolish as it may seem for someone in my current state to make room for a man like him—a man who could crush my heart without effort—it still felt wrong that he wasn’t here.
It was only cowardice—the fear of hearing him say he’d leave even if I asked him to stay—that kept me silent during our goodbye.
I reach out and grab my phone from the nightstand.
Days ago, he saved his personal number on my phone, but I’ve never messaged him.
I check the time: almost ten.
It’s not very polite to send messages or make calls after nine, as Eleanor always taught us, but I’m tired of being the good girl.
I type quickly before I can second-guess myself:
I wish you had stayed.
I’m about to set the phone down, uncertain if I should’ve sent the message, when the screen lights up.
I’m so nervous it takes me a moment to realize it’s not a text but an incoming call.
"Hello?"
"Why did you want me to stay?"
"I . . . don’t know . . ."
"Good night, Brooklyn."
"No."
"No what?"
"Don’t hang up yet. I know why I wanted you here. I liked when you kissed me."
"But . . ."