Page 77 of The Wrong Boss

“You’re her mother, Carrie,” Hailey chided. “You’re the one who’s done all the parenting.”

My throat was so tight it burned.

“A coward wouldn’t have gone out and looked for a job like you did in those early years, or excelled the way you did, or pushed for more career progression now. So why didn’t you tell him right away?”

I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. Tears ran freely down my cheeks, and all I could do was shake my head.

Hailey sighed. “I guess it doesn’t matter. We should figure out how you’re going to tell him now.”

“I’ll sit him down. Maybe at dinner. A café. Somewhere public.”

“Okay.”

“And then I’ll just say it. I’ll rip the Band-Aid off. ‘Cole, I— You—you’re my daughter’s father.’” I stumbled on the words; even in a role-play, I couldn’t do it.

“Good!” Hailey encouraged. “Good. Then he’ll be shocked, maybe angry, and you’ll say…”

I looked at her, lost. “I’ll say… I have no idea what I’ll say.”

“You’ll explain why you didn’t tell him.”

“Right. I was shocked. I was afraid he’d want to take her away from me, and equally afraid he’d want nothing to do with either of us.”

Hailey nodded supportively. “Okay! We’re getting somewhere!”

I cringed, sank down into the cushions, and groaned. “He’s going to fire me immediately.”

“Probably, yes.”

“Andthen he’ll point his army of lawyers at me.”

“Possibly. But you’ve got Carla!”

“Stop being so fucking cheery, Hailey. I can’t handle it.” I said it half-jokingly, snort-laughing as tears sprang from my eyes again.

Hailey laughed with me, wiping her own eyes as she leaned her head against my shoulder. “We’ll get through this,” she promised. “You have a home. You have your daughter. You have me and Seth. Everything will work out.”

I nodded, reaching over to pat her hand, grateful that she couldn’t see the look on my face. Because all I heard when she said that was how much of a failure I was. I had a home that she provided for me, because I couldn’t afford one on my own. I had a daughter who deserved so much more than me. I had her and Seth to keep me afloat when I couldn’t manage to build my own life like a functioning adult.

Once Cole saw me for what I was—a failure of a human, a selfish coward, and a liar—he wouldn’t look at me like I was all that mattered in the world. The false image would shatter, and all this would be over. He’d fight me for Evie, or he’d disappear from our lives forever. I would never again have the right to touch him or kiss him or laugh with him.

And after all that, when the dust settled and I cobbled my life together from the rubble, I would still be in love with him.

THIRTY-ONE

CARRIE

Cole wasn’tat work the next day. Whispers slithered through the office about Alba’s accident, about how Paulie, the driver, had been at fault. I thought of our accident on my first day of work and wondered if it should’ve been me laid up in a hospital bed instead of Alba. Kaia gave me the task of having flowers sent to her hospital room. I chose the nicest bouquet I could find on the flower delivery company’s website and let my guilt eat me from the inside out as I entered the company credit card details into the appropriate fields.

Just me, buying flowers for the woman whose fiancé I’d spent the last few days screwing. A normal, professional purchase. Yep.

Regret was a millstone around my neck. I regretted taking this job, keeping this job, indulging in all the little flirtations and looks and touches over the past several weeks. Iregretted agreeing to go on the retreat. I regretted ever learning how to golf.

I especially regretted opening the door that evening, when Cole came knocking. If I’d just kept the deadbolt engaged, none of this would have happened.

Hailey would have told me that I was being a self-flagellating fool. She would have said that there was no sense beating myself up about decisions that couldn’t be undone. She would’ve been right, of course, but it didn’t stop me from doing it.

At lunchtime, I waved off Rachael’s invitation to go out for a sandwich and ate a sad, soggy salad at my desk. I was in a sad, soggy kind of mood.

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