Page 231 of Outlaws of Tulsa

I reach over to the nightstand, snuffing out the cherry of the cigarette on the wood surface before turning back to him. I let the smoke tendrils billow out of my nostrils before grinning at him. Palming his hard abs, I slowly stroke my hand over his stomach to where his dick is once again straining in his boxers. I lazily rub his dick through the material.

“If I were a babysitter, I’d get fired. Do babysitters do this? Certainly none that Mom and Dad ever hired.” I wince at the flash of their faces that makes its way into my mind against my will.

Cove, like the intuitive bastard he is, fixates on the action. His hand covers mine over his dick. “Your parents are still alive, right? That’s what Stormy told me. Your brothers too.”

A crushing wave of grief crashes into me out of nowhere. I’m reminded of all the trouble me and my brothers found ourselves in. Christmas mornings and Easter brunches. The way Mom would cheerily wake me up each day with her sunny smile and familiar perfumed scent that followed her everywhere.

Losing my family was such a gutting thing to endure. It’s not like they’re even dead where I could move on. Worse. They’re alive and a few states away. I could find them and see them again if I really wanted.

But Chase is dead.

They don’t know Dragon, nor would I want them to.

Mom remembers me as a good kid who was going places. Sure, I was a mouthy fucker, but she loved me for it anyway. She wouldn’t recognize the tattooed monster I am today. The heartless killer. A man who does what he must to survive. Hollow and used up. Worthless.

“Hey,” Cove says, his voice calm and sweet. “It’s okay.”

Awareness trickles around me as I pull from my memories and find my way back to the present. I’ve somehow scooted down the bed and buried my face against Cove’s chest. My leg is locked around his and my fingers dig into his ribs like he might try to escape my hold at any second. I’m thrumming with a mixture of grief and rage at the unfairness of it all.

Cove’s fingers find my hair and he drags them through it. It’s such a simple, soothing movement, I actually groan in surprise. Blinking hard, I try to shake off the pain that’s shredding me from the inside out. My lashes are wet and my entire body shakes. But, with his fingers in my hair, soothing me, my erratic heart begins to slow.

I’m not Chase.

I’m Dragon.

They’ll never have to meet the beast. Their memory of the boy will forever be kept in their hearts, untainted.

“I wasn’t always a monster,” I admit, my voice a mere whisper. “People used to like me.”

“People liked you? I find that hard to believe.” His wry tone has me smiling. “Want to tell me about them?”

My smile fades. “The people who liked me?”

“Your family.”

“Why?”

“Because I know nothing about you, man. If we’re going to…fuck, then I want to know more about you.”

“So you admit it’ll happen again.”

He sighs heavily. “It was too good not to.”

A long, pregnant pause fills the air. I suck in a breath and then exhale, trying to shake the sadness still gripping my lungs like a vise.

“They were great,” I murmur. “Involved. Loving. Stern when they needed to be. If you looked up the textbook definition of great parents, mine were at the top of the list.”

“And your brothers?”

“Annoying. Especially Kai.” I bark out a laugh. “Not Mitch, though. The baby was everyone’s favorite, including mine.”

“You miss them.”

“They don’t know me anymore. It’s better they think I’m dead.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m not Chase anymore. They would hate Dragon. Especially Mom.”

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