Page 22 of Where the Stars Heal

HALLE

I turn into Hunter’s driveway with the words Asher spoke on repeat.

“She sounds like more work than this bar, and that’s a burden you don’t need.”

Tonight sucked. I didn’t mean to spiral into a panic when I dropped the glasses. It just hit me out of nowhere, and it all became too much. The stares, the loud noises, the heat… The embarrassment of failing. It was like a crushing weight fell over my chest, and I had no hope of controlling what happened next. I never do when the attacks come with no warning.

Tears stream down my face, and I wipe them away, furious with myself. He helped me. No one has ever helped me like that. Asher knew what to do, he knew how to bring me back, and it took a matter of minutes. The warmth of his touch washed over me, and the way his voice spoke to me, commanding but concerned, he broke through my walls.Sweetheart.

A shiver rolls down my spine at the memory of his hands on my face, of being called sweetheart. I’ve neverbeen a sweetheart to anyone.Idiot, loser, scum.But never sweetheart. That word doesn’t belong to me.

It was all just an act, though. Too good to be true. He wasn’t helping me, he was helping Hunter. I let myself believe for a moment that someone else saw the real me, the pain and panic, and understood. Someone worth caring about, but I was wrong.

“She sounds like more work than this bar, and that’s a burden you don’t need.”

They didn’t mean for me to overhear them, but I did, and now I feel like a fool. A fresh wave of tears falls down my face, blurring my vision, and this time, I don’t bother wiping them away. What’s the point? They’ll just keep falling.

Grabbing my bag with shaky hands, I sprint toward the house. I need the pain to go numb.

I fumble for the house key Hunter gave me and blink away the tears rapidly to clear my vision. His over-the-top red door comes into view, and I scoff at the sight of it. Why the hell is it red?

Tires screeching down the street pulls my attention away from the door, and my heart sinks when I see Hunter pull up, his expression full of worry as he slams the car door and bolts toward me.

“Halle, please don’t run from me,” he pleads, his hand coming down on my shoulder. I flinch at his touch.

Why did he come after me? I don’t have the strength for this. Everything inside of me just wants to stop. The weight of tonight’s events is suffocating me. My mind and soul are screaming at me to collapse.

“You heard the wrong part of that conversation, lil sis. I promise what you heard wasn’t that bad. Asher… He’s just looking out for me, you know. He didn’t mean anything by it.”

I hear the concern in his voice. I hear the worry laced into every word, and the little girl inside me, his little sister, just wants her big brother to make it all right again. But I’m not that little girl anymore. Things have changed—I’ve changed. Their words tonight hurt. They pulled at a string inside of me that I’ve been trying to cut loose for years. The string that runs doubt through my mind and makes me feel like a burden.

Putting the key into the lock, I turn it, pushing the door open and stepping inside. The house feels stuffy and hot from being closed up all night, and the back of my neck becomes flushed. Hunter follows behind me and turns the lights on. Ignoring him, I start down the hallway toward my room, hoping he won’t follow.

“Please don’t leave.” His voice cracks, yelling out to me.

I pause at my door, one hand on the handle, trying to calm my breathing and the war of emotions happening in my head right now.

“I won’t leave, Hunter.” I finally say to him as I disappear into my room.

I made a promise to him and to Mom that I’d try. I’m here to get my life back on track, to find myself again, and Hunter coming after me tonight makes me believe he’s right. If he really thought I was too much work, he would still be at Whiskey Cove in the chaos of the bar without a thought of where I went. But he’s here, trying to get through to me, only I’m too tired to deal with any more heaviness tonight.

Moving to the side of my bed, I collapse, allowing the emotional exhaustion to seep through my body. I want to turn it all off, to sleep and fall into a dream where the pressure doesn’t consume me. The pressure to say and do theright thing, to put on a mask and be strong for everyone to see. Tonight, I’m tired of being fine.

Rolling onto my side, I reach under my pillow and grasp the small bottle, pulling it close to my chest and holding it tight. I could fall asleep right now or get up, take a shower, and crawl into bed like a normal person would. But that seems like too much effort. A lone tear slips down my cheek and I suck in a shuddering breath, knowing what I’m about to do isn’t right and goes against everything I’ve told myself. That I’ll stop.

With trembling fingers, I twist the cap off the bottle and swallow back two pills. One more night. Curling my knees into my chest, I stare at nothing, waiting for the effects to take hold of me, to welcome the darkness. Another tear falls down my cheek, leaving me feeling cold, and for the first time all day, I let go. The sobs break free, and my body shakes with the force of them.

My awareness starts to fade away, and the urge to sleep overpowers my worries, leaving me with one single thought.I miss my mom.

10

SHE’S STUNNING

ASHER

Lights flash purple, green, pink, and blue. They fly through the air. Creep up the walls and blind my eyes. The bass vibrates through my body, matching the rhythm of my heart, and I lift my arms in time with the beat, moving them back and forth. Someone brushes up against my back, a slim arm wrapping around my waist. I pull her around to the front of me, and we move together. Lost to the music. A rush of adrenaline hits me, and I peek down at the girl grinding against me. My vision blurs as the crowd of people on the dance floor of the club closes in on us, pushing us together further. Her peachy scent hits my nose, and I bury my head in the crook of her neck, breathing her in.

“You smell fucking delicious,” I rasp in her ear.

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