My chest tightens at how sad she sounds. There’s no fight left in her, no feisty comebacks or glares. This girl. Maybe I do have it all wrong. Maybe she’s not here for Hunter’s bar or money. Maybe she’s just broken, and that thought alone has me feeling so much more than I care to admit. I follow her gaze to the sky. The stars are brighter outhere with little to no light, the beauty of them sending a calmness over me. Before I can reply, she stands, wrapping her arms around her midsection. Without looking back at me, she silently walks back home, leaving me with more questions than answers and the sound of the swing rattling in the air.
6
I’M TRYING
HALLE
Today’s my first day trying. Today’s the first day of a new start. Today will change everything. I look down at my sketch pad and back out to the waterfall, breathing in deeply, taking a moment to myself to calm my nerves, and repeating to myself that today is the day. It has to be because I am so tired of feeling this empty. My shoulders slump as I close my sketch pad and pack my tin of charcoals away. I can’t remember the last time I felt happy, excited, confident, or strong. I’ve built my walls up so high that not even I can knock them down.
Feeling the heat on my face, I stand and pick my bag up, slinging it over my shoulder and checking the time. Hunter will be up soon, and after a long night of thinking and being alone in a quiet house, I need my brother. I need to know why he abandoned me.
I wasn’t sure what I was expecting when I came here. I just knew that staying there withhimwasn’t right anymore. After Mom left, I stayed to finish school, then I stayed because I enjoyed my job in the craft store and because I thought staying kept me closer to her. But I was wrong. Icame home one afternoon, and all her things were gone. The crushing weight of seeing her disappear was shattering, but having no proof of her existence was harder to process. I was frantically searching for her belongings in her room when Ray came around the corner, and the look on his face told me everything. My stomach dropped, and a wave of nausea rolled through me as he snapped at me.“I dumped it all. She’s not fucking here anymore because she was selfish, so her shit needed to go.”
The pain that tore through my chest, taking over the nausea, was unbearable that day. He got rid of it all: photos, clothes, keepsakes. All of our memories, just gone. That afternoon altered me. All of my resentment toward Ray came to a boiling point, and I lost it. I’ve never fought back against him,never spoke up, but my vision clouded over, and I’d had enough of it all.
His laziness, his mean words, and his lack of contribution to the bills. I was a waste of space, anyway, so I packed my bags. As I was storming out the door, I noticed a letter on the side table. I stopped breathing when I saw how it was addressed.Lil Sis, Halle. With my heart pounding, I snatched it up and ran to my car.
That’s why I’m here. For a better life, to reconnect with Hunter. But doing so when I’m bitter and angry at the world isn’t going to work. I’m going to buy us coffees and muffins, I’m going to take steps that move away from this bitterness today. I read somewhere online last night that small steps can add up, so this is my small step.
I walk up to the counter at Sunlit Espresso and smile at the barista. This place smells heavenly, with the scent of fresh baked goods and coffee in the air. There’s greenery placed all around, giving it a real welcome feel. Pots of vines and plants hang from the ceiling, and there are littlecenterpieces on the tables that line either side of the coffee shop.
I realize as I’m standing here that I have no idea what kind of coffee Hunter drinks. This is something I should know, right? I’m his sister, except we were too young the last time we were together to be drinking coffee. Hell, I don’t even think I liked the idea of coffee when I was a kid. My hands start getting clammy, and I start doubting that this is a good idea. I could just order a few different options to let him pick from, or I could guess, or maybe I could just ask someone. I wish I had Madison’s number right now. I could text her. I tighten my hold on my bag and scan the menu again.
“Hey, you’re Hunter’s little sister, aren’t you?” I look over at the barista who’s staring at me and glance at her name badge.Honey, it says. Curiously, I look back at her and tilt my head to the side.
She laughs softly, amusement in her eyes as she says, “It’s a running joke here, to pick names of coffee-related things. Honey is not my name. It’s Tessa, but you can call me Tess.”
I smile at her as I take her in. She’s really pretty. Is everyone in this town naturally beautiful? Like, what the hell?
It has to be the sun and fresh air. Long strawberry blonde hair falls down her back, sunkissed skin and freckles scattered across her nose and cheeks. Her amber eyes soften as she waits for… Right, I’m being awkward again, and now that I’m aware of my awkwardness, I’m even more unsure of what to do. Why is this so hard? What if I screw up?
“Ah, hi.” My voice cracks with nerves. “This is going to sound weird, but do you by any chance know what coffee Hunter Dawson drinks?” Realizing I didn’t introduce myself,knots begin forming in the pit of my stomach as I grow more anxious with this whole encounter.
“Halle… I’m Halle Dawson.” I stutter out before Tessa can get a word in.Jesus, why am I so socially awkward?
Tessa moves to the coffee machine and starts filling the group head with ground coffee.
“It’s so nice to meet you, Halle. I’ve heard a lot about you from your brother and Madi.” She smiles kindly at me, and my shoulders begin to relax a little.
Back home, I always felt out of place. I was the poor girl that everyone pitied, but at the same time, I never shied away from the people in town. I was used to their stares and whispers. I grew up with them and learned how to tune them out. It was lonely at times, but I could hold my own. The only friend I had was Stacey from the craft store. She was older than me and had her children, but I loved it when they came in to visit. I would sit there and teach her daughter how to draw and mix paints to form different colors.
“Will you be at Whiskey Cove tonight? Saturday nights are the best nights there. You should come, we could get to know each other better?” Tessa’s gentle tone brings my attention back to her.
What’s a Whiskey Cove? Is that the name of Hunter’s bar? I probably should know this, shouldn’t I? Agh. Why haven’t I ever asked Hunter these simple questions?
“I’ll be working at the bar tonight, but maybe another time,” I reply.
Tessa beams at me. “Of course! Hunter said you’ll be helping out at Whiskey while you’re here.”
As she hands me Hunter’s coffee, I sigh inwardly. Okay, so Whiskey Cove is Hunter’s bar. Thank god I didn’t just embarrass myself even more and ask her what a Whiskey is.
“Hunter drinks caramel lattes. For next time,” Tessa adds.
So Hunter and I have the same taste in sweet coffee. That’s kind of surprising to know. He gives me bitter coffee vibes. Actually, no, Asher gives me bitter coffee vibes. My guess is he drinks black coffee only, like his soul.
The thought of Asher takes me back to last night. I woke up in a panic, my heart pounding and thrashing in my chest. I needed some air, needed to switch it off, to calm it all down, and being outside always helps. So I made my way down to the park. I just wanted to gaze at the stars. I don’t know how he knew where I was, but Asher found me there. He was all tall and masculine, his earthy scent mixed with the smell of beer and something sickly sweet. I was going to ask him why he reeked, but when he asked what the fuck I was doing, I couldn’t reply. He sounded frustrated, and I knew then he wouldn’t understand, but for a split second, I did want to tell him. I don’t know why, and I still can’t quite figure it out, but a comforting silence enveloped us, and I felt safe. I just wish he felt that, too.
I grab my coffee and the muffins from Tessa, letting her know I’ll say hi if I see her tonight, and make my way back to Hunter’s.