Page 74 of Back In the Shadows

As dawn broke over the horizon, casting long shadows across the floor, he finally lifted his head and met my gaze with an intensity that seared my soul. In that moment of raw vulnerability, I saw his walls crumble, revealing the shattered pieces of a man who had endured too much for too long.

As we held each other in that dimly lit room, I felt the boundaries of our reality distort. The line between right and wrong, love and fear, blurred until all that remained was us—two broken souls seeking solace with each other.

I knew then that our love was a battlefield, a war we fought against the world and ourselves. And as we stayed locked in that embrace, I wondered if we were each other’s saviors or each other’s damnation.

“I can’t do this alone,” he whispered, his voice barely above a breath yet echoing with unspoken truths.

I looked up at the man I adored, my stomach in knots. “What do you mean?” My mind raced with the unthinkable. Was he going to turn himself in? Admit himself for mental treatment? Leave me and the kids?

His eyes, once filled with fire and determination, now held nothing but a profound weariness that weighed heavily on my shoulders. The silence between us stretched taut, heavy with fears and doubts that threatened to devour us whole.

“I mean, I need you with me. Through all of it. The darkness, the pain, the uncertainty. I can’t face it alone anymore.” He swallowed and hesitated, then he continued. “I was going to leave you. Leave the kids. I’m learning what I’ve done to you, and the twins have a connection with Death. The idea that he loves Death terrifies me. How can I stay and destroy everything that I love?”

His words hung in the air, heavy with the weight of our shared past and the unknown future that loomed before us.

“But I’m not strong enough to abandon the only light in my world. I won’t give myself over to Death completely, and I have to fight for you and the kids. I can’t be a pathetic excuse for a man and leave all of you alone with him.”

Tears welled up in my eyes as I struggled to comprehend the depth of his words. How could I be the anchor he needed when I felt adrift in a sea of uncertainty myself?

But as I searched his face for answers, all I found was a desperate longing for salvation, for redemption in the arms of the one person who had always believed in him against all odds.

In that moment, a new resolve ignited within me, pushing aside my fears and insecurities. I reached out and took his trembling hands in mine, intertwining our fingers in a silent vow of solidarity.

“We’ll face this together,” I whispered, willing my voice to remain steady despite the storm raging inside me. “Whatever comes our way, we’re in it together.” But something in the back of my mind told me this conversation wasn’t over.

36

SEBASTIAN

I hated myself. I hated myself for being weak and allowing Death to rule my life, to ruin my marriage and relationship with my children. If I was strong enough, I would walk away and let them find someone who could love and protect them, not make them lie and live a double life.

The hot spray of the shower cascaded over me, and I stared as red water swirled down the drain. The abandoned building had a shitty bathroom, but it worked, and I had to wash the man’s blood and guts out of my hair. Ella wanted to join me, but I said no and let her clean up first.

You’re feeling sorry for yourself, asshole.

I gritted my teeth and slammed my fist against the shower wall. “Fucking stay out of my head, Death. You’ve done enough damage already. Leave. You’re not welcome here.”

His laugh echoed through my mind, pissing me off even more.

You think there’s a choice because you’re strong-willed? We’ve shared this body since the beginning of time. It just took your parent’s murder for me to fully evolve and appear.

I stilled with his confession, water streaming down my forehead into my eyes, but I barely noticed the burn.

“Have you been aware of me all along?” I grabbed the bar of soap and lathered my face while I waited for him to answer.

No. I only learned about you when I found out Ella was pregnant. I was going to kill you for fucking her.

I flinched at his crude words. “She deserves more than to be fucked, you son of a bitch.”

She likes it. She likes when I chase her through the woods and fuck her so hard she can’t walk.

His words were difficult to digest. She deserved to be worshipped and not treated badly.

But. She also likes it with you. The way you touch her and care about what makes her feel good.He grunted.It kills me to admit it, but I suppose every once in a while, we’re going to have to get along. Not because I like you, but for her.

“That’s the first time I’ve ever heard you put her first.”

I always put her first. She is my queen. I just have a different way of showing it.

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