Page 63 of Back In the Shadows

Over the next several hours, Cami and I talked, laughing over old times, and she asked more questions. I answered them honestly, and as the time ticked by I watched her smile return, which made my heart sing. I didn’t want her to live in fear of Death or Sebastian. And I hoped like hell she would be able to forgive Ryan at some point. I understood how horrible it was to be separated from the people you loved most in this world.

Once Cami and I were caught up, I glanced at my watch. It was time to put the babies to bed for the evening, and I wanted to sing to them as Sebastian and I tucked them in. I promised myself to never take the little moments for granted again, no matter how tired or frazzled I was.

30

SEBASTIAN

I sensed Ella’s presence behind me before she even spoke. Her arm slid around my waist and her body pressed against mine as we stood at the window in our bedroom, looking out at the serene scenery below.

“It’s all an illusion,” I said to her. “Everything appears to be peaceful and beautiful below us, but underneath it’s dark and chaotic.” My gaze dropped to meet hers, and her emerald eyes filled with understanding. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close. “What can I do? How can I help you feel safe again?” I asked, my voice heavy with concern. I leaned down to kiss the top of her head, feeling a sense of comfort and security wash over me now that she was near.

“I need to stay close to you,” she admitted, her voice strained from the intensity of her emotions. “The flashbacks are overwhelming, but when I’m with you or the guys, they’re not as bad.”

“I wish I could have kept you safe. This shouldn’t have ever happened. I was lulled into a false sense of security out on the property.”

She ran her warm palm up and down my back in a futile attempt to soothe me.

“Me too. I should have been more alert and aware. We can’t spend time pinning the blame on someone when we need to find Xavier. He’s still out there.” She shuddered against me, and I brought her closer.

“Never again, Ella. You’re safe. You have my word … and his.”

She glanced up at me. “I’m not used to you referring to him. Are you talking with him? Has he told you what he knows?”

“Some. We’re not connected all the time, and I haven’t adjusted to the idea that he’s in my head.”

“I’m back now, so I can help. I’m so sorry you had to deal with my kidnapping and then on top of it connecting with Death.”

My body trembled with pent-up emotion as I turned to her. “Losing you was too much, and it triggered everything,” I confessed, my voice barely above a whisper. “We both thought we’d never see you again. But he was … is planning revenge.” The words tasted bittersweet on my tongue. I wanted to be a part of whatever he was plotting, to avenge my wife.

Ella nodded slowly, understanding the gravity of the situation without needing any more explanation. “I know him well enough to understand that he will do anything to keep our children and me safe,” she said confidently.

I reached out and smoothed a stray strand of hair from her face, tucking it behind her ear. “Is that why you love him?” My tone was laced with anger at the thought of anyone else being able to protect her other than me.

Her response was hesitant, as if she were choosing her words carefully. “There are times that he scares me. But it’s kind of our thing.”

The sound of her confession made my blood boil. “What do you mean? Does he hurt you?” I gritted my teeth with the question. How dare he hurt her.

She placed her warm palm on my chest directly over my heart. “There are two parts of you. One is gentle and loving, but the other is fierce and unpredictable. Death can be rough with me … but I like it. I crave both sides of you.” She moved her hand to my tense jaw, trying to ease the anger bubbling inside me. “I love both sides of you. In my mind, I’m lucky enough to experience all of what you have to offer. Sometimes it’s hard or confusing, but I chose to be here with you. I chose to have your children. I chose to marry you.” She looked into my eyes with unwavering love and determination.

“Sebastian? Are you going to be okay? I’m worried about you. I can’t imagine how horrifying this is.”

I leaned down and pressed my mouth to hers, ready to stop talking about him. “This is what I know, Ella. I love you more than I ever thought possible. I love our babies. That’s all I can tell you right now. Just try to be patient with me.”

She slipped her arms around my neck and pushed up on her tiptoes, kissing me gently. “I love you too.” Ella bit my lower lip and tugged on it.

“Baby, you should stop before I can’t.”

She nipped on my lip again. “Promise?”

“You’ve just been through a traumatic experience and in the hospital. You died. It’s too soon.”

“The doctor didn’t say anything about not having sex. Please, I need you to remind me that I’m alive and safe at home with you. I need to kiss you and feel you inside of me, erasing the horror I lived through for just a little while.”

I couldn’t help but smile. She wasn’t going to let it go, and I was okay with that as long as there wasn’t a risk.

“Then relax and let me show you how much I missed you.”

Her laugh went straight to my cock, and he was giving her his undivided attention. I cupped the back of her neck and placed a soft kiss beneath her ear. She shuddered against me, her hips pressing into mine.

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