I hug my arms around my middle when a new hurt forms in my chest. It’s hard to believe Luca would be capable of something so heinous. I don’t know him that well, but I’ve never gotten a sinister vibe from him the few times I’ve been in his presence. Intense yes, but not harmful. I’ve always felt more safe around him than I do with anyone else, like he would protect me, no matter the cost. It physically hurts to think of him purposely harming me.
“Yeah. I didn’t think so either,” Theo puts in darkly.
I glance over at him and see the ire back in his eyes. I shudder, not sure if it’s from his dark look or the aftereffects of my panic attack.
“Now do you understand why I want you to stay away from him? I don’t know what he’s capable of.”
I nod, but say nothing. I’m still trying to come to grips with what he told me.
“I’m going to take a shower and go to bed. I’ve got a headache,” I tell him, and get up from the couch. I need to be alone.
“Jules,” he calls and grabs my hand. I look down. “I want you to sleep in my bed tonight.”
My first reaction is to tell him no, that I’m not ready, but then I think about my earlier resolve of trying to make it work between us. I owe it to both of us to give it a try.
I force a smile. “Okay.”
Something fiery passes in his eyes, and I refrain from retracting my agreement. He lifts my hand and brings it to his mouth. I swallow back the bad taste in my throat when his lips touch my skin. Once he releases my hand, I walk quicklydown the short hallway to Aria’s room and grab my nightclothes.
Going into the bathroom, I drop down on the toilet and hang my head. My chest feels hollow as I think about Luca being the cause of my coma. I always felt like there was some type of connection between us, but I never would have guessed it was because he was ultimately my downfall.
I rub my chest over my heart when that thought leaves me feeling empty.
I FEEL WARMTH AT my back and something lightly touching me along my side right above my hip. My muscles tense when I realize it must be Theo. Earlier, when I went to bed, I lay there stiff as a board, waiting for him to come into the room. I must have lain there for over an hour before my body relaxed and I was able to doze off. I may have said I would sleep in his bed, but I was still apprehensive about more than that going on.
Hot breath fans across the back of my neck, and I force my body not to move away from him.
“I remember when you got this tattoo,” he whispers, his fingers tracing the small tattoo right above my hip. “You got it to signify our love.”
I close my eyes tightly when his hand moves from my hip to my bare stomach. He keeps it there, but rubs his thumb back and forth. His hands are so big that every time his finger glides across my skin, it’s only inches away from the underside of my breast.
When his chest meets my back, which ultimately puts his hardness against my butt, I can’t hold back my whimper. Hetakes the sound as a sign of encouragement instead of the distress it was meant to be.
“God, Jules,” he groans against my shoulder as he lays his lips there, letting his tongue run along the skin. “I’ve missed touching you. I’ve waited years for this.”
When he moves his fingers up my stomach and the tips graze the bottom of my breasts, I hold still when all I want to do is push his hands away. My hands fist the pillow, and I silently beg God that I can make it through this encounter without becoming sick. I don’t understand why his hands and mouth seem so abhorrent to me when we’ve made love in the past.
With my eyes still clenched shut, I try to concentrate on just the feeling of his hands cupping my breasts and pinching the tips and notwhois doing it. It’s a mistake, because without imagining it’s Theo, someone else takes his place. Theo and Luca are twins, so of course they look alike, and it’s easy to put Luca in Theo’s place.
My eyes spring open wide. I should not be thinking about Luca in this situation. I shouldn’t be thinking about him at all.
Determined to push him out of my head, I roll to my back so I can see my husband’s face. The moon is full tonight and gives just enough light through the partially open curtains to see the surprise in his expression before a sensual smile curves his lips.
“You’re so fucking pretty.”
I force myself to smile up at him. He lowers his head until his lips rest against mine. When his tongue touches my lips, I open my mouth and grant his access. He takes advantage and drives his tongue inside, pressing our mouths together so hard my teeth cut into my lip. I moan from the slight sting, and again he mistakes it for passion.
His hand leaves my breasts and travels down my stomach until he reaches the waistband of my pajama shorts. I turn rigidand my hand closes around his wrist. His head lifts, and he stares down at me with a frown.
“I don’t….” I shake my head and try again. “I don’t know if I’m ready to go all the way.”
“We won’t,” he coaxed gently. “I just want to make you feel good, Jules. We’ll stop before it goes too far.”
I don’t tell him what he’s doing right now is already going too far. It’s me, I know it is. It’s not anything he’s done. It’s my stupid head and the crazy things running through it. It’s my mind not letting me enjoy it, and not willing to give Theo a chance.
I draw in a breath and fortify my resolve. After I nod, I respond meekly with, “Okay.”
His head drops to my throat, where he inhales deeply. After several moments, his hand at my shorts slowly inches the material down my legs. Once they’re off, I lie there tautly. His hand smooths up my legs until he reaches the apex of my thighs. Not realizing I’m doing it, my legs press together tightly, unconsciously trying to keep him out.