Page 51 of Doctor's Surprise Twins

She turns to face me. “I’m glad you’re putting the past behind you, but I didn’t want to be a part of it.” She walks over to me andtakes the bag from my hand, tossing it into my suitcase. “Where are you going?”

“Another hospital has been trying to get me to take over their pediatric cardiology department for years. I always turned them down because I wasn’t ready to move on and let go of this place.” I look around. “But it’s time. I took the job. I start Monday.”

“What?” Does the hospital know?”

“I’ll write my resignation on the plane,” I assure her. “I haven’t been under contract for some time, so there’s nothing they can do but accept it.”

“Okay, slow down,” she says, grabbing my wrists and pulling me around the bed. She turns me and pushes me back, telling me to sit down. “What is going on? How do you go from the guy I knew yesterday to this? One minute you’re refusing to throw away a six-year-old bar of soap, and now, you’re throwing away the house and your career. People don’t change this much this fast. Slow down. You’re making all these life-changing decisions, and you’re going to regret them.”

“Did you know that I never saw my child?”

“What?” She tilts her head.

“I couldn’t. Amelia passed first, and I couldn’t look at the baby because I was hurt and pissed, and deep down, I guess I resented the baby for taking Amelia away from me. I knew that the point would come when that would change. Eventually, I’d be forced to take the baby home, to care for it and love it, and I was okay with that. I planned to be the best father I could be, but until that point came, I was going to hold onto my anger to keep from feeling the pain of losing my wife. But then things didn’t end up like I thought they would. The baby was born too early. It wasn’t strong enough. After the baby had passed, they asked if I wanted to see it, hold it, and I said no.” My chest tightens with regret. “I thought not seeing it would make the grieving process easier, you know? You can’t miss what you never had.”

I shrug. “That decision didn’t bother me at first. I told myself it would get better. Over the years, I have regretted it more and more. I found myself wondering if it looked like her or me, or if it looked similar to this baby or that baby I saw in the hospital. That’s when I stopped working with infants. It was too hard. Suddenly, I saw them all as my baby. When I lost a patient, I wasn’t reacting as if I lost any patient. I was acting like I lost my child all over again. It was too heavy and too hard to face over and over.” I look up, my eyes locking with hers. “So, trust me when I say that I know regret. I know regret more than anyone. I know I’ll regret leaving you, but I’ll never regret leaving this house.” I look around now. “It’s full of too many bad memories for me, but it will be perfect for you and your child. It was made for a family.”

“We’re not a family without you,” she says, stepping closer.

“Not yet, but you will be. You and this baby will be each other’s family. And I know it’s only a matter of time before you find the man you’re meant to be with. You’ll find a man who will want to give you everything I can’t. And when you find him, he’ll love this child like it’s his own. All the pain, sadness, and misery I’ve filled this house with will be erased by the love, happiness, and excitement you bring to it.” I take a deep breath and push myself to stand.

She’s so surprised by my response that she takes a step back, giving me room to walk back to my suitcase.

At the foot of the bed, I close the suitcase. “I need to get going before I miss my flight. As I said earlier, I will sign the house over to you. My lawyer is already drawing up all the paperwork. Once I get to where I’m going, I’ll sign everything and have it filed. Of course, I’ll send you copies of everything. I’ll also open that account and get some funds in it ASAP in case there’s anything you need.” I pick up my suitcase and look back at her.“If there’s anything you need, don’t hesitate to reach out. And Ally…”

Her eyes meet mine. They’re filled with tears.

“I’m so sorry. This was never my intention.” With that, I turn for the door.

My body feels ten times lighter. I’ve been carrying the weight of the world on my back for so long that I got used to the feeling. I thought the pain subsided long ago. As it turns out, it never did. I only got stronger and used to carrying it. Now that I’ve allowed myself to put it down, I feel light enough to fly. I had no idea how heavy it was to carry around the pain of losing my wife and child.

The moment I realize this, I find myself picking up the hurt and disappointment I’ve brought to Ally. It might not be as heavy as what I’m used to carrying, but it hurts differently. I know walking away from her will leave me feeling sore and tired, but nothing compared to what I’m used to. At least, I think. Who knows, maybe this will eat at me over time, too. By the time my end comes, there won’t be anything left.

23

ALLY

The world is moving in slow motion.

I haven’t moved an inch, but I remember every moment we’ve shared all at once. I think about how we met, and how it felt like such a mistake to want what we wanted.

I remember how good it felt when we gave in to our desires. I remember running back to one another again and again until we gave up on trying to stay away.

Once we both accepted things for what they were, we were happy. I loved my life. I loved getting up and going to school and to the hospital.

It felt like I had it all: the American dream. I had the life I’d always dreamed of, going to school and working toward my degree while spending time in the hospital, learning the ropes, and making friends. I even had him. My life was so full of happiness. And now, I’m losing it all.

He’s walking out, and nothing will be the same. I might graduate and get hired at the hospital, but none of it has the meaning it once did. Suddenly, I understand why my mom chased after relationships. It didn’t have anything to do with the fact that she wanted someone to provide and take care ofus; it was because it made her feel whole. Her life wasn’t just working and raising a child. In a relationship, she got to be a woman who was doted on and loved, cherished. And when men left, her world fell apart around her. This is something I never understood until now.

As I watch him walk toward the door, I see bits of my world starting to crack and break away. My world used to be so solid, and now, the ground is being swept out from under me. I don’t know how to stop it. I don’t know how to stop him. All I know is that I need to try. I’ll always regret letting him walk out.

“Ethan,” I call out.

He stops at the door, slowly turning to face me, but I’m already moving toward him. By the time he’s fully turned, I’m in front of him. My arms wrap around his neck, and I pull him toward me as I lean into him. Our mouths crash together, and I kiss him, hard and slowly. He holds back at first. He’s taken off-guard, and that’s okay, but the longer I kiss him, the more he softens and reacts. His lips go from still and frozen to soft and inviting. They move slowly with mine until my tongue pushes its way into his mouth. That’s what makes him unleash the part of himself that he’s never been able to hold back.

He drops his suitcase and wraps his arms around my waist. His tongue starts to dance and explore, teasing and enjoying. He steps toward me, pressing my back against the door frame. He leans in, pressing the front of his body against mine so I can feel every hard inch of him. His chest is firm while rising and falling quickly with his labored breathing. His abs are flexed like he’s trying to hold himself back. And his cock is already straining against his sweatpants.

My hand glides from the back of his neck to his angular jaw, and I love the way his thick scruff feels against the palm of my hand. It scratches and tickles. I wonder how it would feel against the soft skin of my neck or my inner thigh? I lift my leg, bendingat the knee, so I can hook it over his hip. This allows him to press even closer against me, right where we both need. I moan against his lips and feel him twitch against me as a result.

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