Page 12 of Building My Pack

A couple of days later, I sit inside the local deli waiting for Thomas to show up. After my doctor's appointment this morning, I have quite a bit on my mind, but I hadn't wanted to say no when Chloe texted earlier and asked if I was up to having lunch with Thomas. Best to rip the bandage off and get this over with, honestly. I don't even know how he figured out my secret so quickly. More than likely has something to do with my suppressants going wild. Dr. Dubois told me that they should right themselves over the next few weeks as long as I keep taking my prescribed medicine. Stress brought on by George leaving and not having the constant comfort of his companionship may have triggered part of my omega hormones. That's what he seems to think, anyway. Naturally, he also said that if it doesn't right itself then we'd have to run tests and possibly adjust my dosage. Something we haven't had to do in years.

I'm so caught up in my thoughts that I miss Thomas's arrival. A hand waves in front of my face, startling me out of my head. "Hi, hello."

My mouth turns up in an automatic response to his tone as I glance up to his face. He's got the same innocent look about him that he did over the weekend. His brown hair softly waves away from kind, blue eyes. "Hey, how are you?"

"Fantastic, as always," he declares, taking his seat beside me at the bar. "Care to share what had you thinking so hard?"

"It's actually just been a really long week," I answer truthfully.

A sheepish look flashes across his face as he admits, "I'd say so, having a date with one of the most eligible bachelors in our area. And don't be mad. I know Chloe broke girl code or whatever, but I was dying to know."

"I'm not upset that she told you," I say. "I'm still kind of in shock from it, anyway."

He snickers, "I think I would be, too, in your shoes. Any juicy details worth sharing?"

Shaking my head, "Not even close, but we do have another date planned for this weekend."

"So, there's promise and we'll hold out hope then," he states with an exuberant wiggle of his eyebrows.

We take a moment to order food and drinks, giving me a few minutes to prepare myself for the questions that I know are coming. When they start, I'm still not sure if I'm ready.

"You don't owe me anything other than sweet company for lunch today since you accepted our friendly date," he starts.

"Yet, curious minds go wanting, yes?" I finish for him.

The ruefulness flees his expression as he nods animatedly. It's all I can do not to bust out laughing, though a slight chuckle does slip out before I cave, "Okay, let's get this over with then."

"You make it sound like you're getting a tattoo or something as awfully unpleasant," he teases.

"It's just not something I typically discuss with anyone. Ever. Other than my parents, George was the only one to know," I retort.

He makes a small clearing of the throat noise then asks, "Since so few people are aware, would I be correct in assuming that you've hidden it practically your entire life? Well, since you found out."

At my nod of agreement, he adds, "But why would you want to? Do you have any idea how great it is being what we are?"

I take a moment to appreciate that he's not spoken the word aloud just in case anyone overhears us. Not like I know anyone in the deli today but considering how private I've managed to keep this for so long, I'd rather keep it that way. "I perfumed naturally when I was thirteen. Both my parents are betas, so imagine all of our surprise when I wasn't. They'd been pretty forceful in their beliefs on people like us. That we were only as good as our designation. If I didn't hide it, then I'd never be able to live for myself and fulfill my dreams of college and career. I don't think it ever really hit home until they started talking about having to send me to one of the centers to live. It was probably just a scare tactic, but it worked. I didn't want to grow up away from them in some center with a bunch of strangers, and I wanted to be able to live the life I saw for myself without having it dictated to me."

He does nothing to hide his astonishment. "I don't think you realize how wrong those teachings are. Do you think for one second that I let my alphas tell me what I can or can't do? That theydictatemy life?"

With a shrug, I say, "All the years of having that drilled into my brain then getting out into the real world myself, I haven't witnessed any truth behind it. Then again, I haven't been around enough packs to speak from experience, either."

"Well, I have," he chuckles, "and let me tell you, being...what we are is nothing to be ashamed of. When you find a pack, yes there are more than just your feelings and opinions to consider at that point, but never have any of my alphas commanded me not to do something. Unless it was in the bedroom, then I kind of liked it, you know?"

His eyebrows do the excited wiggle thing again, making me laugh as he tells me, "Just watch. I guarantee you at least one of those alphas sniffing at you will be just like my John and Jake."

Deciding that I'm in it all or nothing now, I confess, "That's another thing. I've been on suppressants since I was a teenager. They've always not only worked blocking myspecialscent but that of the alphas around me. I haven't ever had as strong of a reaction to one like I have those two. My doctor seems to think it's residual stress from the George situation and that maybe I'm overworking myself, but something just feels different. Almost like my body knows something my brain doesn't."

"Would it be so bad?" he asks randomly.

I glance at him, confusion in my tone when I reply, "Would what be so bad?"

"Dropping the façade," he says. "Stop taking the meds. Letting those alphas prove to you that being, not just a part of a pack, but the center of it isn't the worst thing in the world."

I'm already shaking my head before he's done. "I've really been giving it some thought lately. Especially now that I've got another date with Santiago, but I can't stop taking the meds. The doctors have told me since I went on them that there may be a chance I can't ever come off. Lower dosage maybe, but if I stop cold turkey the repercussions could be devastating to my hormones, affecting my omega." I whisper the last bit, even though at this point, if anyone is listening to our conversation, they will already know what we're talking about, anyway.

"In that case, I fully recommend coming clean with them if things start getting serious. If they aren't able to see through your mask like I was, they might get their panties in a twist learning that the woman they're courting isn't a beta after all."

There's that word again. "Santiago mentioned courting the other night at dinner. You don't think he already knows, do you?"

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