Page 7 of Love Bitters

“All for one,” I’d told her, twining my fingers through hers.

She’d squeezed tightly as she replied, “Twins forever.”

We’d come so close, but it doesn’t matter how much work you put into living life. When it’s your time to go it just is. There’s nothing anyone can do to prepare for it either. Not like that anyway.

Taking the small black balance book from underneath the seat, I open it to the last page we’d written on. According to the last entry, we should have a couple thousand in there. I’d deposited as much as I could while working through college, but now I wish I’d put more. The thought of touching the money makes my stomach churn. After losing Lizbeth, I never wanted to, but I know she’d be shaking her head at me right now if she could. This is what we’d started saving for in the first place.

Doing this may drive me to have a mini breakdown, but my stomach growls, and I’ve got to start making preparations for when I am able to find a job. With my mind made up, I head toward the bank.

I don’t hesitate when I pull into a spot either. If I lose the courage to go inside now, I’ll never do it. A neon pink sign on the door captures my attention long enough to give it a once over. It’s letting everyone know that a teller position is open. Not exactly ideal for what I’m looking for, but I can’t say I wouldn’t consider it in a pinch. Kind of like now. First thing though, I need to get in and out without shedding tears and scaring people.

As I wait in line behind a middle-aged lady with a little girl clinging to her leg, I try my best not to bounce impatiently on the balls of my feet, choosing instead to distract myself with the cute small blonde curls haloing her head. For a moment I stop to wonder if my baby will be just as adorable as she is. Will it have sun-kissed blond hair like Wes, dirty blond like Murphy, or maybe the dark auburn of Ollie? If it turns out darker, that’ll lean closer toward Thatch and Evan. One of the hardest parts about this, other than losing them, will no doubt be the mystery behind who the father could be. It’s going to drive me crazy with wonder.

“Next,” the dark-haired lady behind the counter calls, yanking me back to the present.

Her name tag reads Jolene, immediately putting the song on repeat in my head. She’s really pretty even with the holes through her nose and lip that she’s trying to hide.

“How can I help you today?” she asks.

I try not to blush being caught lost in the recesses of my mind. Sliding the thin book over to her, I say, “I’d like to make a withdrawal from my savings account, please.”

A smile lights her face, making her even prettier. Envy is a worm that wiggles through my chest. I wish I looked half as good as her. Mustering up a return smile for her, I wait as she types the account number in. Flicking her eyes down to the book then back to the screen, she grabs a pen and informs me, “You’ve got the wrong balance in here. Want me to correct it for you?”

“Yes, please,” I reply.

Slipping it back across the counter, she asks, “How much were you wanting to withdraw today?”

I open my mouth to answer her as I glance down to the balance, but a lump forms in my throat. There’s a little over two thousand more than I thought, bringing the account just barely over four thousand dollars. Lizbeth must’ve been putting back more than she told me the entire time.

Fat tears start welling up in my eyes, and one sneaks down my cheek. The lady, Jolene, reaches for my hand, asking, “Are you okay?”

It’s all I can do to nod before wiping and spreading the wetness across my cheek.

“I just didn’t realize how outdated my balance was,” I tell her, trying to recover from this embarrassing scene.

She pats my hand gently before retreating back to her side of the counter, replying, “Well, that should put a little sunshine in your juice box today, yeah? I could think of two thousand things to do with a little extra cash in my pocket right now.”

The quirky little joke is enough to make me huff a short sad laugh. All of it is just too much. I need to make this withdrawal and get out of here before the waterworks really start.

“Can I take out a hundred, please?” I ask without meeting her gaze.

“Sure thing,” she says, typing away at her keyboard a second time.

While she’s distracted, I glance behind me to make sure I’m not holding anyone up as I ask, “Do you know anything about the teller position they’re hiring for?”

After counting out five twenties and pushing them my way, she grins. “As a matter of fact, I do. Hey, Nancy.” The last being slightly yelled toward an older blonde in the corner who’s just hanging up the phone.

Stuffing the cash in the front pocket of my dress, I watch as she makes her way over to us with a, “Yes, Jo?”

Jolene motions toward me. “We have an inquiry about the job.”

Nancy does a once over on me, and I can only hope that she doesn’t notice the leftover tears in my eyes.

“Do you have a resume?” she asks politely.

Awkward as ever, I hold up my phone as I explain, “I can email it to you real quick.”

She nods and spouts off her email address for me. I let her know once I forward it over, and she pulls down her reading glasses from the top of her head. Jolene winks at me with a flashy grin that’s infectious.

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