Page 47 of Love Bitters

His wince is audible in his short intake of breath. “Not well, huh?”

“They don’t know,” I admit.

Drawing himself back to be able to meet my gaze, he hits me with, “Say what, now?”

I shrug the shoulder not pressed into the mattress. “I haven’t told them. As soon as I found out, I got my job and moved out. I’ve talked to my mother a few times over the phone, but they haven’t come by to visit nor invited me back. I haven’t seen them in months.”

Those dark blue eyes roam over my face, looking for whatever clue he may need to think I’m fooling him or upset about it in some way, but I know there’s nothing there. I accepted the sad story for what it is when I moved out.

“Are you going to tell them...before?” he asks.

“Before what?” I reply easily. “Before the baby is born? I might. I don’t know yet. May just show up with the little bundle of joy and surprise them. My mother will probably faint and feel the need to go to church and pray afterward.”

His tongue plays around in his mouth for a minute or two before he finally offers, “It’s your choice when or if to tell them, but I know my mom wouldn’t want me to keep it a secret from her. If you decide you want to get it off your chest, any of us would be willing to go with you to do it.”

This little Q&A has left a horrible taste in my mouth. Would my mother want to know? Would she bother to show up at the hospital when the baby is born? How would she handle it if I showed up with all five of them in tow and told her the truth? A heart attack and then lots of praying. Probably not even in that order either. Not to mention the fact that Murph’s comment about his own mom has anxiety seeping back into my thoughts. How do we choose who to tell and who not to when we don’t know which of them is the father? Then I’ll be meeting parents and facing their condemnation on top of my own family’s.

My stomach rolls, and I force myself up into a sitting position to keep from throwing up all over Murph and his bed.

“Hey,” he says, joining me, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make the stress come back. I was simply curious. No one needs to know until you’re completely ready to tell them, okay?”

I nod, but my thoughts are already lost like dust in the wind.

“I’ve got to go,” I blurt, easing myself off the bed.

He follows until his legs dangle off the side, then he grabs a hand and gently tugs me back over to stand between them. When he peers up at me from beneath dark lashes, I can’t help but get distracted by his good looks again. Though I miss the mountain man beard, this new stubble thing he has going on really works for me. Reaching out to rub my palm across it tempts him into pressing his cheek further into my hand.

Pressing a kiss in the middle of my palm, he frames the hand with his larger one. “You’re not in this alone anymore, Im. Whatever there is to face, we’ll do it together, yeah?”

I nod, but he shakes his head. “I need to hear you say it so that I know you understand.”

“Together,” I repeat trying not to get choked on the emotion leaking into the word.

“Good,” he says, standing and giving me a lingering kiss that I know I’ll be thinking about later. “Stay here and I’ll go grab your clothes.”

Shame is not a word in my vocabulary as I watch him walk over to his dresser and throw on a pair of boxer briefs. I wouldn’t be able to pick out a favorite part of his body if my life depended on it. Then he leaves me alone in his room, allowing those nagging dark thoughts to worm their way back into my head. If only things were as easy as he makes them sound. Maybe the truth just hasn’t hit them yet, but it will soon. I just hope that I’m not the one left blowing in the breeze if they decide to get the hell out of dodge.

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