Page 20 of Love Bitters

“Where else do you guys suggest?” I ask. “My usual grocery store has one of those corkboard things for local people. We could put one there.”

“Yeah, that’s a great idea too,” Jolene replies. “I’m thinking about running an ad in the paper. For half a second, I considered running an ad on Craigslist-”

“NO!” both Jade and I shout at the same time.

She holds her palms up to us in surrender. “I said I thought about it. Then thought better of it.”

“You’re damn right,” Jade says, looking at her sister like she’s the one who’s lost her mind. “You do that and the next thing we know we’re dealing with some psycho who wants to throw us in a pit and have us rub mayonnaise all over ourselves.”

“Mayonnaise?” I sputter with a laugh.

It’s Jolene’s turn to roll her eyes, and she looks so much like Jade that it makes me laugh again.

“Don’t get her started,” she says. “Okay, so I think we’ve got a good starting point, yeah? We’ve got a meeting place and plans sorted for members. We can pick the first book and all that at the first meeting. Which should be when?”

“I can do the posters and have them ready to go by tomorrow,” Jade answers.

“And we can put them up over the next couple of days,” I add.

“I’ll get the ad to run all next week in the paper,” Jolene offers. “So, two weeks from now should be good, yeah?”

Jade and I both nod in agreement before the chatter turns gear again toward what books we might consider doing. One side of me is fully engrossed in conversation with my new friends, but the other is nursing the open wounds from having shared so much information with them. Between the two of them knowing my secrets and laying eyes on my guys again, it’s almost too much.

By the time I’m at home with no one other than myself to keep me company, I lay my head down on my pillow and let the tears fall. I’m so stupid. In a moment of weakness, I pick up my phone and contemplate texting Wes or Ollie. Out of the five, they’d be most open to forgiving me for ditching them the way I did. They may also be the ones that wouldn’t run screaming at the first syllable of baby.

Thankfully, I come to my senses before doing something that would change all of our lives forever. Instead, I choose to bury myself inside my blanket, letting it hide me and my tears from the world.

---