Page 51 of Love Bitters

Imogene

It's been two weeks almost down to the day since telling the guys about the baby and our reconciliation. My mind had been torn on how to approach my two new closest friends about the situation when the decision was taken out of my hands. The morning I'd left Wes standing on their doorstep, he and Ollie had shown up with matching grins and a bag full of peanut butter goodies. Jolene's jaw had dropped to the floor, obviously recognizing one if not both of them. Even Nancy hadn't bothered coming over to chastise any of us for having company on the job. Of course, I think it helps that she's now getting laid herself by some guy she'd met through Jolene. She's always been nice, but I'm starting to feel like she's a little more sympathetic than she was when I first started. Guy or no guy.

I hadn't been able to give either Ollie or Wes any kind of affection when they'd surprised me at work, but we more than made up for it later that night. Not once but twice after they'd shown off all their gifts for me and the baby. Which had left me with having to explain everything to both my friends. They'd been supportive, but they didn't hide their anxiety about the situation too well either. Neither would say if they simply thought it was a bad idea or if it had been something else entirely like the Thatcher thing. I wish I could say that I wasn't still stressed about that myself. Unfortunately, Thatch and I haven't spoken about that morning in the past two weeks. Nor have we had sex in any capacity. It's given me good reason to be self-conscious and wonder if he still finds me attractive like he did before I started gaining all this weight, or if he's just never truly forgiven me for leaving them. When we're at their house together, there's always been someone else with us. Several nights, he left super late and didn’t come back for hours. My heart hurts when I consider he might've moved on and is only sticking around in case the baby is his. Not like I could blame him if it's true, but that doesn't stop me from wondering on those nights then talking myself out of asking. I'm happy having the others back in my life, but I miss him, leaving a sadness sitting on my chest that doesn't seem to ever let up.

As much as I've loved being back with them, we've spent everyday together since, so the Thatch situation has been really dragging me down. I'm glad for the distraction of the book club's next meeting. I've just got to play it cool and not blab my shit to everyone this week.

I remind myself of that little fact as we settle around Jolene and Jade's living room like we've been doing for weeks now. Staying ahead of the game to keep my mouth shut, I let them go ahead and start the meeting with discussions on the book, speaking only when I need to or when it's called for. Starting to think I might be even more suspicious that way since this play it cool thing is hard, I join in to back Luci when she starts defending the motorcycle gang from the book.

"I think people who belong to those gangs get bad reputations by association when most of them are good men," she's saying. "I'd bet half of the ones around here are men in suits on a daily basis when they're not riding around or doing stuff with their club."

Once again, Blythe takes the leap none of us want to take even though curiosity burns deep. "Why, Luci, you seem to know a lot about these kinds of things. Is there something you'd like to share about that asshole husband of yours?"

Luci's cheeks flush as she lets out a soft cynical laugh. "Pigs would fly before that man got on the back of a motorcycle."

Dropping my gaze to the floor, I hope Blythe missed the insinuation of her statement. Of course, we couldn't get that lucky.

"So, a boyfriend then?"

That pink tinge turns a brighter red as Luci's chin lifts in defiant silence, and Jolene is left holding the torch of getting control of the conversation. "Enough of the inquisition. If Luci has something on her mind that she wanted to share, then I'm sure she would, so let's not pry. How about we get back to the book, yeah?"

Blythe shrugs. "I still stand by my opinion that the main character was too quick to trust these dudes who have a questionable reputation. No matter how they came by it. Bad boys are labeled that for a reason. Good for a hard romp and nothing more, because they'll break your heart when they're done with you."

The only reason I notice Luci's fidget is because we're sitting next to each other. Wherever her life is leading her since meeting us, it seems like it might be even more uncertain than mine was. Until she chooses to let us in, there's nothing we can do besides sit back and wait for that time to come.

"They sure are fun for that little while though," Jade tosses out after Blythe's remark. "Why don't we make that our book for next time? I'm always down to read some sexy bad boy romance since Blythe is right about them sucking in real life."

"If everyone is cool with that, we can do the random drawing again," Jolene suggests. "Are we done with this week's book?"

After two hours of discussion and ripping the entire love story to shreds, I'd hope that we're close to being done with it. I'm having a hard enough time as it is pretending like my life hasn't taken such a drastic curve back into the ‘love doesn't suck all the time’ path. They're bound to notice during one of the next couple of meetings, but I get to keep it a smaller secret for now.

After we make the selection for the next book, we slowly migrate back toward the food that's set up in the kitchen where the conversation turns to lighter topics like where Jade thinks she might apply for college.

"I'm not sure at this point," she confesses to Penelope. "I wanted to try getting into Dartmouth, but I probably won't."

Penelope's surprised expression mirrors my own. "Why not?"

Smiling softly at Jolene, she replies, "Because on the off chance I do get accepted, that would leave Jo here with all of our family...issues."

I'd followed along until now, thinking it had something to do with tuition since an Ivy League education is expensive. Now I’m seeing it’s the skeletons in my friend's closet that she hasn't wanted to drag out into the open.

Shocking everyone else further, Jolene reveals, "Our mom is institutionalized at Rockcliff downtown for trying to commit suicide five years ago, and I don't have to take care of her while she's there. So, someone please help me talk some sense into my baby sister? She needs to get out of this town and go to college where she wants, or she'll regret it."

I try to shift the subject off their mom before Blythe pounces. "If nothing else, it's true, Jade. You'll regret it later if you miss out on something this important in your life."

She disregards my words and those of Abilene and Luci, who agree with us, by deflecting. "These flowers you brought this time are really pretty, Maisie. Which florist did you get them from?"

Blythe, who's surprisingly stood silent for once, chooses this moment to interject. "Okay, what gives? Why do you always bring flowers, anyway? You have an obsession with them or something? It's kind of weird."

Maisie blushes but locks eyes with Blythe as she retorts, "It's not weird. I just don't want them around my house."

"Then why do you buy them?" Blythe asks incredulously.

"I don't," Maisie admits. "A bouquet has been anonymously delivered to me almost every other day since I left the hospital."

"You don't know who sends them?" she presses.

"Of course I do," Maisie snaps. "They're from my husband."

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